Flying hasn’t changed all that much in two years. The seats are still cramped and the food just mediocre. I wasn’t even sure what I was allowed to bring on the flight so I just didn’t pack any hair care items or lotions or anything like that. Those of you who know me IRL are laughing because you know how rarely I use those products anyway – but I will be working, afterall.
Leaving today, daddyo and the kids all walked me outside and waved goodbye as I drove away to the airport. As much as I know I’ll enjoy the brief break from real life, it broke my heart a little to drive away from them. It didn’t help matters that Princess was whining a little because mommy was in the car and leaving without her.
Don’t get me wrong. I know they won’t even miss me because they’ll have so much fun being spoiled by grandparents but still. I can’t help but wonder if Princess will wonder where mommy is? Speedy understands that I’m going to California and that I’ll be back after “three sleeps”. I’m guessing they will both be hell on wheels when I get home.
The strange thing about traveling away from my family isn’t how much I will or won’t miss them. Let’s face it, I am going to enjoy my time away. I think I may even take in a movie after class tomorrow. It’s things that are completely out of my control that have me a little paranoid. It’s not what happens to them while I’m away that I worry about it – I know they will be just fine. It’s what could happen to me while I’m away. The possibility of not making it back.
I’ve already admitted these morbid thoughts so it’s nothing new, but it surprises me still. Speedy especially has already had so much loss in his life – I can’t bear to think of him suffering through more of it.
Am I weird or what?
3 Comments so far
Leave a comment
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <pre> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Not weird. Just a mommy.
Have fun and (((HUGS))). You’ll forget all about this feeling when you get home and have to deprogram them!
Comment by Judy July 25, 2007 @ 12:15 pm“It’s things that are completely out of my control that have me a little paranoid. It’s not what happens to them while I’m away that I worry about it – I know they will be just fine. It’s what could happen to me while I’m away. The possibility of not making it back.”
No, you are not weird at all! I have the very same thoughts when I travel for business. I’m leaving for FL this coming Monday and I’ll be gone for 5 days. I know I’ll enjoy the free time, outside of work hours, to do my own thing, but I’ll have those same morbid thoughts as well. I always do!
Comment by Overwhelmed With Joy! July 25, 2007 @ 9:12 pmYou’re not weird at all. Well, at least not about this.
I think about that all the time. Even when I’m driving without her. I think about how we need to finish our wills, and I’m not all that happy with where she would go if something happened to us. So I try not to think about it, just as you try not to think about it and just as everyone else tries not to think about it…but it’s hard!
Comment by karenh July 26, 2007 @ 2:16 am