Filed under: Day after day
On my flight to CA, there was a sailor sitting in the row in front of me. I am always interested in learning more about men and women who are in the service. In some way I feel like I should be interested in who they are if only because of what they are doing – especially these days – for all of us.
Whether you believe in what we’re doing in Iraq or not is completely irrelevant. Our soldiers are there and they are fighting and saving and dying every day. Many of them leave families behind who are left to pick up the pieces and carry on with life as usual.
Watching this sailor from a distance while we waited to board the plan, I wondered what his story was. I wondered how long he’d be in the service and what exactly he does. I wondered if he had a family, a wife, children, a sister, a mother, a father….. I wondered where he’d been and where he was going.
He sat in the row right in front of me and as I eavesdropped on his conversation with the stranger next to him, this is what I learned. He was heading home to see his wife and his baby for a few days. The last time he’d held his child, he was 3 months old and now that same child is 10 months old. Compared to many who are currently serving, 7 months isn’t that long to be away from your family. But to this sailor it was a lifetime.
If you are away from a baby for even a month you miss a great deal of changes that happen over night. I can’t imagine a father missing out on all of that development. I can’t imagine a mother facing the challenge of caring for that baby on her own. I just can’t imagine.
What can I say? Being a mom totally changes my perspective. When the plane landed I heard him call his wife and tell her which gate we were pulling in to so she’s know where to wait in baggage claim. He was describing his bags (as if they’d get there before we did) and I could hear the excitement in his voice. It brought tears to my eyes.
I thanked God for that sailor and the sacrifice he and his family makes for our great country. I also thanked God that I had not checked a bag and would not witness the reunion between father and child, husband and wife.
My heart simply couldn’t take it.
Filed under: dieting
I was supposed to weigh in on Wednesday but i was out of town. When I went Saturday morning, imaging my surprise when I stepped on the scale and………………………………………………….
-
-12
Filed under: parenting
It was fun being in front of live class again these past two days and I have enjoyed the time to myself. Knowing that class over and I’m just staying one last night to catch my flight back tomorrow, I’m ready to go home.
The funny thing is that I’m not ready to go home because I’m missing them so much I can’t stand it. *gasp* I love my kids but I am enjoying my “break”. The reason I’m anxious to get home is because they need me. I know they are being well cared for and loved while I’m away but I also know that no one else can replace mom. No one knows what they need, when the need it, the same way I do.
It’s not that I’m super mom or that no one else is as good as me – it’s that I know them in a way no one else could. Because I’m with them more than anyone else is.
I guess that is why God knows more what we need and when we need it than anyone else. We are His children. Why do so many of us constantly question that?
Filed under: Infertility
I got a call today from one of our associate pastors. He told me about a lady in our church who was interested in talking to someone about her infertility.
Rewind about 3 ½ years.
I got a group of girls together who were all facing the same obstacles to starting a family that we were – well, maybe the obstacles weren’t exactly the same, but you know what I mean. Anyway, we started a little Bible Study slash support group for women and we met for several months. The group just kind of dissolved as we all “graduated” in one way or another.
So I’ve been contacted a couple of times by pastors in our church asking if I’d be willing to talk with women who were in that same situation now. Absolutely. In fact, today I told him he didn’t even need to ask me about it anymore – just give out my contact information as needed.
As soon as he told me about her, I was reminded of something I heard in a sermon week before last. You can’t really minister to someone else’s hurt until you’ve experienced your own.
How grateful I am for the opportunity to listen to someone else who’s walking in shoes I’ve already outgrown. (or thrown out, maybe) I really hope she calls me and I can’t wait to hear her story. I hope I can be of some encouragement to her and avoid saying all the stupid things that people who aren’t members of the club often say. One thing I’ve learned is that membership in the “infertility club” is a lifelong commitment. Even when you are no longer active, you still belong and help others feel like they’re not alone.
Filed under: Day after day
Don’t worry, sis, this one isn’t about you. 
My mom gave me a book the other day by Jodi Picoult with this title. What an amazing read! Though I have to say that I was a little ticked off at mom when I finished the book – I don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t read it so I won’t say why.
The book is about a family inching their way through days and then years of waiting for one daughter to die from Leukemia while they fight the disease using another daughter. The second daughter was conceived very carefully and unnaturally by geneticists who were able to determine an exact match for the ailing sister. In other words, they conceived one child to save another. What was initially supposed to be only cord blood donation turned into multiple blood transfusions, bone marrow transplants and finally, the battle over kidney donation.
The main character of the story is the “donor daughter” and her journey to medically emancipate herself from her parents. I don’t want to give the whole story away, but this is a book that definitely kept me reading way past midnight. It was like watching a train wreck in a slow motion but you become so intrigued you just can’t look away. It was a very interesting way to address a hot topic in our medical community.
It’s one you should definitely check out.
Flying hasn’t changed all that much in two years. The seats are still cramped and the food just mediocre. I wasn’t even sure what I was allowed to bring on the flight so I just didn’t pack any hair care items or lotions or anything like that. Those of you who know me IRL are laughing because you know how rarely I use those products anyway – but I will be working, afterall.
Leaving today, daddyo and the kids all walked me outside and waved goodbye as I drove away to the airport. As much as I know I’ll enjoy the brief break from real life, it broke my heart a little to drive away from them. It didn’t help matters that Princess was whining a little because mommy was in the car and leaving without her.
Don’t get me wrong. I know they won’t even miss me because they’ll have so much fun being spoiled by grandparents but still. I can’t help but wonder if Princess will wonder where mommy is? Speedy understands that I’m going to California and that I’ll be back after “three sleeps”. I’m guessing they will both be hell on wheels when I get home.
The strange thing about traveling away from my family isn’t how much I will or won’t miss them. Let’s face it, I am going to enjoy my time away. I think I may even take in a movie after class tomorrow. It’s things that are completely out of my control that have me a little paranoid. It’s not what happens to them while I’m away that I worry about it – I know they will be just fine. It’s what could happen to me while I’m away. The possibility of not making it back.
I’ve already admitted these morbid thoughts so it’s nothing new, but it surprises me still. Speedy especially has already had so much loss in his life – I can’t bear to think of him suffering through more of it.
Am I weird or what?
Filed under: Princess
Dear Princess,
I can’t believe you are already a year and a half. The time goes by so quickly, I just know that it won’t be long when I’ll be writing your 18 year letter. It hardly seems possible that the day could ever come when you are that old, but I know it is just around the corner.
I know your favorites will change as you do, but right now some of your absolute favorite things to do are dance, sing, talk and imitate Speedy. You also enjoy challenging me to see if I really mean it when I say ‘no’.
It cracks me up when the music comes on and you immediately start bending at the knees – up and down, up and down. Then you start moving one arm almost as if you are running but it looks more like a pirate saying “arr arr arr” than dancing baby girl. I know your dancing will improve but I have to admit I’d be fine with you dancing just like that until you’re married.
Singing is another thing you enjoy immensely and even if no one else understands the lyrics you belt out, mommy always knows. Well, almost always. You join in when I sing ‘ABC’s’ and you especially like to keep repeating the A B C part. Though is sounds more like AAAAY EEEEEE SEEEEEE. You are so proud of yourself when you sing and you want everyone to know it.
Here are all of the words you know: mommy, daddy, speedy, eat, bite, yummy, night night, pappy, grammy, granny, granddad, backpack, walk, bath, tickle, hello, bye bye, baby, play, please, thank you, honk, ear, nose, up, no, yes, and I know there are even more that I can’t think of right now. You also like to talk in complete sentences and sometimes even paragraphs though no one knows what you are saying. You just go at it a mile a minute and then look at us like we’re stupid because we didn’t understand you.
You still adore your big brother and follow him around and laugh at him constantly. If you see him doing something you just have to try it out yourself. Even when he’s climbing on something. Especially when he’s climbing on something.
Everywhere we go people comment on how beautiful you are and how smart you are because of all your talking. I am also constantly told what a good baby you are. It’s all true. You love it when I let you stand in the basket at the store and you talk and wave to people as they pass by. Very few people are able to resist your charms and usually end up smiling or talking back to you. If someone is standing any where near you and is not looking at you or smiling at you, you seem to take it as a challenge to get their attention.
Although you are my sweet little angel, you do constantly occasionally push the boundaries and continue whatever you are doing even after I’ve said ‘no.’ When you continue to disregard my direction and I raise my voice a little or use my very stern “mommy voice” you usually just fall to pieces. It’s almost as if you are saying, “oh, why are you fussing at ME? What could I have possibly done to deserve such treatment.”
I’m afraid you are going to be quite the little drama queen. You already are.
I never knew I had the capacity to love the way I love you and Speedy. I want your happiness more than I want my own.
Love always,
Mommy
Filed under: Day after day
My bags are packed (almost) and my reservations are made. I’ll be heading out in a few hours to fly way too far away from my family for work. Yes, I am actually going to do some work. I even had to buy big girl shoes for the event – something I haven’t done in I don’t know how long. I haven’t been anywhere lately where flip-flops just wouldn’t be acceptable.
This will be the first time I’ve been away from my kids for three whole nights and the first time I’ll be so far away. I’ll near Oakland, California so watch the news. If there is a major earthquake there and you never hear back from me, you know what happened. That’s pretty morbid, isn’t it? I have all kinds of irrational fears about leaving. Most of them revovle around earthquakes and never seeing my family again. Sigh. I really need to chill.
Anyway, I am finally looking forward to being away for a few days, even it is for work. I really like what I do and enjoy being with a live classroom full of people so it should be fun. And who knows, maybe I’ll even sneak away to the movies in the evening!
I expect to have internet access at hotel California so look for more posts over the next fews days as I’ll actually have time to write.
Peace Out. (i wanted that to be the last thing I wrote in case my plane crashes.)
Peace Out.
Filed under: adoption
Nice. When you are the parent of a child or children who joined your family through adoption, this is just exactly what you want to read about in the news.
Alright. Enough is enough. I am turning into a little old lady who does nothing but talk about the weather and complain about her health. Right now, I could even use a walker.
First, my stinkin’ tooth started bothering me so i had to schedule a root canal.
Second, Princess tried to claw my eye out and I couldn’t see out of my right eye for a good week and it’s still a little fuzzy.
Third, I threw my back out this morning lifting Princess from her high chair.
On top of that, it has rained every day for the last 2 months except for maybe 5 days.
Filed under: dieting
Well, I forgot to post about weighing in yesterday. It was better than I thought – I honestly didn’t think I would have lost any weight and was just hoping I didn’t gain any! 
But it wasn’t so bad. I did manage to shed a pound. That’s better than nothing, right?
-6.2
Filed under: Day after day
So we’re going to purchase one of these for our ELEVEN hour trip to Florida that will be here before we know it. I’m just wondering if anyone has any suggestions? I’ve read lots of reviews about players that skip or restart regularly. Anybody have one they just absolutely love? thanks.
It may be time to change Princess’ nickname to Diva. I simply could not pass up this adorable little swimsuit I found on sale for THREE BUCKS!
So tomorrow is weigh in day. I’m not looking forward to it nearly as much as I was last week. I haven’t done terrible but I also haven’t done as well as I did week 1. I’m a little afraid that my numbers may not drop – it just doesn’t “feel” like I’ve lost anymore weight. Oh well, there’s always next week.
Right now Speedy is in his room having a fit because I closed and “locked” the door. Believe me, it is for his own safety right now. We had a great morning shopping and playing at the Mall until it was time to leave. When I told him it was time to leave the play area to go home, he RAN FROM ME! I didn’t chase him – I usually don’t, as a rule. Instead, I put Princess in the stroller and waved goodbye to Speedy as I walked away from the play area. This usually works like a charm.
He immediately came running and calling for me but when I stopped, he turned around and ran back to the play area. (I guess the little booger has finally caught on to my trick) So off I went again. (I had a friend still in the play area who was keeping an eye on him from a distance.) He would run to me and then run away before I could get him and we did this a few times. Finally, I said forget it. I turned around and walked off and didn’t look back. Not only did I not look back when I heard him calling for me, but when I turned the corner, I hid behind a wall so he couldn’t see me when he made the turn. Surely, he’d freak and run right to me when I stepped out, right? WRONG! He did freak, but when he got close to me he refused to get on the stroller and would not get close enough to hold my hand. So I walked out of the mall. I could hear his little footsteps trailing behind me, just far enough to maintain his independence, and I walked towards the parking lot. I didn’t know what I would do when I got to the parking lot because I couldn’t let him walk far behind me with all the cars. Thankfully, he must have been thinking the same thing because he came and got on the stroller when I stopped at the edge of the parking lot.
Mommy definitely needed a time out at this point. But we were all stuck in the car for another thirty minutes. He must have known I was pretty upset with him because when I said, “mommy needs some quiet time on the way home – no talking” he actually kept pretty quiet. He went straight to bed when we got inside and I told him his door would stay open as long as he stayed in his bed. Guess how long he stayed in his bed? 5 seconds.
So here we are. He’s screaming and crying and having a total fit in his room and I’m blogging about it. But I’m not irritated anymore. I’m just shaking my head wondering why it is so hard for him to submit to authority….then I remember he’s my son afterall and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’m sure God is wondering the same thing about me – why is it so hard for me to submit to His authority sometimes?
I know the end result will be the same for me as it is for SPeedy. I’ll be the one throwing a fit and crying and all upset and He’ll be blogging about it. No wait. That’s probably not exactly how it will work.
On a brighter note, this morning Speedy finished his toast and asked for more. I very non-chalantly said, “go poop on the potty and I’ll make you another piece of toast”. Off he went to the bathroom as I remembered I didn’t have his little seat set up. By the time I got to the bathroom, he was balancing on the big potty and POOPING! Go Speedy, go!
If any of you ever read the “Ramona the Pest” book series, you’ll know the phrase I’m refering to. Ramona didn’t want to eat her cereal and was complaining and griping and her Dad finally told her to eat it or wear it. She wouldn’t eat it so he took her to the bathtub and poured the cereal over her head. LOL This was a fictional book – at least I think it was. Anyway, Speedy hasn’t been wearing his dinner but he has definitely been asserting his independence around dinner time. It seems that for the past week or so, it doesn’t matter what I present him for dinner, his response is always, “I DON’T LIKE IT!”
I swear sometimes he says that before he even hears what it is. And even when it is something I know perfectly well he does like. UGH! I tried reasoning (what was I thinking?) with him the first few times and bribing him to eat. Note to self: always avoid power struggles with a 3 year old – you will never win.
The past few nights I’ve tried something different. Here’s how the conversation went tonight:
Me: It’s time for dinner, Speedy! We’re having mashed potatoes and chicken tonight.
Speedy: BUT I DON’T LIKE IT!!!!
Me: Well, you don’t have to eat it. You can have that or nothing at all.
Speedy: oooooh! I like it, mommy!
Sometimes he’ll say that and then won’t eat much or just pick at it. I figure he’ll eat when he’s hungry, right? I mean, you don’t know any 3 year olds who actually starved themselves to death, right? RIGHT?
Princess does a lot of blabber talking and yesterday I thought I recognized her somewhat unintelligable chatter. I could have sworn she chanted out the first two lines from “Jesus Loves Me”. So I sang the first line and she smiled real big and then repeated the same thing she had just said for the second verse. She knows the words! She can’t pronounce them all, but she knows them! She also sings along with her ABC’s. I need to upload some videos.
Filed under: Adoption Process
Today, we received Princess and Speedy’s new birth certificates in the mail. Seeing their names and ours listed as mother and father is just a beautiful sight.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declare the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”
After a little bit of a rough afternoon (today was gymnastics….bleh), Speedy was ready to crash early. I planned to have him stay up a little later but he was misbehaving in the bathtub so I sent him to his room while I got Princess ready for bed. When I got into his room, I sat on his bed and we talked about listening and obeying, etc…etc…etc…
He was wearing just a pulll-up and he laid his head on my lap. I was reaching for a blanket to cover him and as I did, he sat up and smiled as he pulled the blanky closer. “Did you do that because you love me, mommy?” You bet I did, Speedy.
He put his head back down on my lap so I started singing and he closed his eyes. As I sat there singing, enjoying the sound of my own voice and thinking that really, my voice wasn’t THAT bad (those of you who know me IRL can stop laughing now) – I looked down and saw that while his eyes were still closed and he was drifting off to sleep, Speedy had his finger in his ear.
Little turkey.
He fell fast asleep in spite of my singing.
Filed under: dieting
After two days of not seeing well, finally, I can almost see normally out of my right eye. It’s not 100%, but it’s better than it was. Besides, who cares? I weighed in today at Jenny Craig!!!!!
-4.6
As I’m sitting here with one eye completely patched up and the other tired from doing all the work for the last day and a half, all I can think is that I never realized how freakin’ bright my monitor is.
Can’t type much.
Princess has sharp fingernails. When sharp baby fingernail comes in contact with mama’s eyeball, mama wont’ be happy.
Saw the doctor this morning. He said when they do lasik surgery, they remove the outer layer of the eye to do their work. Princess cut through two layers of my eyeball and I didn’t have any anestesia.
I go back in the morning and will hopefully be able to pass the eye exam this time instead of saying things like, “um, I think it is an H. Is it an H? Is this multiple choice?”
Filed under: dieting
I barely survived my Jenny Craig Day 2. Going to the grocery store when you’re hungry is never a good idea, especially when you are dieting. 
But I did it. The only thing I “cheated” with all day was a plain baked potato. It wasn’t on my plan but I ate it anyway.
Today I’m going to make A vegetable soup that is a freebie – meaning I can eat it anytime I’m hungry. The sad truth is that I’m not usually hungry at all. But what does that have to do with eating?
And you begin to see where the problem lies.
Filed under: Child Advocates
Next week I’ll be back in court. Ironically, with the same judge who ruled over Princess and Speedy’s case.
It’s a placement review for Stella and I don’t expect much to come of it. How sad it is that my recommendation is for Stella to age out of foster care – that is truly her best option for any kind of a future. I’m just praying good foster parents will come along and she’ll form some kind of bond with them. The good news is that she is no longer in the horrific place she was in – the hospital where I went to visit her. She’s moved, but is still not in a foster home. And the services we’ve been requesting and have still not been given to her. That will definitely be a point of contention in court. Bleh. We’ll see how it goes.
Filed under: dieting
Today I started Jenny Craig. It is an expensive program but one I think will work for me. Those of you lifers may remember that I was doing a pretty good job losing weight just before we got our babies. Obviously, that was put on hold – until now.
So, I’ll be tracking my progress once again and you can cheer me along…..
Today was the first day I started eating Jenny food and it’s actually very yummy. I had a hard time deciding which meal to pick because they all looked good – hopefully they will continue to taste good, too. And if you follow the plan, it’s actually a lot of food to consume in one day (not that it is a problem for me). Anyway, I’m counting today as a success because the only “cheating” I did was by eating a few extra pieces of fruit.
My motto is “I can do anything for six weeks”. That’s what I’m focusing on for now – I’m going to give it my best for six weeks and then re-evaluate. I’m ready to fit into cuter clothes and shop in normal stores again. I do have a wedding to go to on Saturday night and that is going to be a real challenge, but I can do it. I can’t wait to go and weigh in next week and see how many pounds I’ve lost.
Just like last time, watch the number at the bottom of each post – Thursday is the magic day next week.
By the way, Karenh, I know you will be extremely pleased to hear that I actually bought FRESH green beans from the grocery store today. I did have to call mom to find out how to cook them, but that is beside the point. I also bought cucumbers. And even broccoli. I can’t spell it but I’ll eat it anyway.
Oh yeah, and my closet is clean. Now THAT is an accomplishment!
0
What a fun few days we’ve had! Granny took Speedy with her to the lake on Monday and Princess and I met up with them Tuesday evening. We swam, we played, we really all had a great time. There is too much to tell about our adventures so I’ll just give you the highlights.
Overheard this morning:
Speedy: I love you, Princess.
….
Speedy: Where is my little potty?
Me: Remember, we left it at Granny’s lake. She will bring it with her when she comes home.
Speedy: Oh yeah. Dear Lord, thank you for Granny and my potty.
…..
Me: Awwww, maaaan…
Princess: Ahhhhhh maaaaa
Speedy was very well behaved this week. He is listening better and following directions better…..he’s even saying m’am and sir more often without being reminded.
Princess loves to sing now. She’ll sing along with the ABC song and with Jesus Loves Me. I’ve just got to get it on video.
Filed under: parenting
I often wonder how parents hundreds of years ago figured out how to raise their kids. I mean, they didn’t have the benefit of all the books we have access to today. *smirk*
I guess they had closer relationships with other parents and probably a much greater sense of community, but that’s not the point. I’ve read several books about how to do this and how to do that and I’ve not agreed whole-heartedly with any of them. I have, however, taken bits and pieces of each one and used it to help in some way.
I’m currently doing two studies, “Love and Logic” and “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”. To be honest, I’m doing the first because it is offered as a study at our church and I get to meet with other moms and discuss issues – and the fact that it comes with two hours of childcare doesn’t hurt one bit. *wink* It’s interesting to me, though, that the books are in some ways completely opposite. The second book mentioned, “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” is really challenging a lot of what I’ve been believing about discipline and correction.
Tedd Tripp, the author of “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” takes a very unpopular stand when it comes to discipline. He not only tells you that you should spank your children *gasp* but he also instructs you how to spank them. This is the first book I’ve come across that doesn’t devote a whole chapter to telling why spanking is so horrible. It really screws with your mind if you’ve been down the foster parenting road.
You see, before we went through training to become foster parents, we were completely on board with spanking. We were spanked and so it seemed natural….right? Then we go to these training classes to become foster parents and they pretty much condemn spanking. The feeling you get sitting through one of these sessions is that if you spank you are no better than the parent who beats his/her child. *eye roll*
I think somewhere along the line we were brainwashed into thinking that spanking was evil and could not possibly benefit children. As with everything, I’m learning that both the far right and the far left are wrong. It’s all about balance. The spanking I was familiar with was the kind that occurred when mom or dad got fed up with a child’s behavior. It was more of a tantrum on the parent’s part (or so it seemed) than a source of discipline for the child.
What I like about Tripp’s book is that he offers a practical “how to” guide to help parents use this method of discipline in a controlled and productive way. If you want to know what that is, you’ll have to read the book yourself. *grin* I am not professing to be a follower of Ted Tripp nor am I saying that I am in agreement with all that he says in his book. (how could I? I haven’t finished reading it yet) I am, however, a follower of Jesus Christ and am professing to believe ALL THINGS written in His book. That said because Tripp takes a very biblical approach to child-rearing.
The main ingredient Tripp adds to raising children is that we need to address the heart of the matter. The fact that Speedy hits Princess in the head is far less important than why he hit her in the head. Understanding the why will help me better understand how to teach Speedy about the character of God. At least I hope it will. I totally get the concept and now I’m trying to figure out the application. I’ll have to let you know how that goes.
Regardless of what I read, one things remains true in any method of parenting or discipline: prayer is key. God is the “owner’s manual” for my kids and I have to look to Him for direction on how to raise them. It may not always be popular, it may not even be politically correct, but His is the only opinion that matters. right?
***DISCLAIMER: For kids who are adopted through foster care, spanking may not have the same meaning as it would for other kids. I wouldn’t encourage anyone adopting an older baby/toddler/child to consider spanking without considering the child’s background and ability to bond.
Filed under: Speedy
I just read a post about boys eating boogers and it reminded me of something I meant to blog about a while back. I am giving you fair warning, this is not for the faint of heart.
We were driving down the road when Speedy started saying, “mmmmm…yummy.” I asked what he had in his mouth and he said nothing. I said, “Speedy, what did you eat?” He said, “I ate my owies all up.” HUH? “Speedy, what do you mean?” and as I was asking him, it hit me. My little freak of a kid at all the scabs off of his owies. I dry heaved.
Overheard yesterday in the van:
Speedy: Where is God?
Me: Where is God, Speedy?
Speedy: He’s all around us. He loves us best.
Me: That’s right.
Speedy: he can hear me?
Me: Yes, He loves it when you talk to Him and He always listens to you.
Speedy: Gawd, peas help me have bedient heart and help me not get in trouble anymore.
We’ve been talking a lot lately about what it means to have an obedient heart and how God wants us to obey with a happy heart. Sometimes I think I tell him things he can’t possibly understand and then I see a small glimpse of his ability to absorb it. I’m going with the notion that Speedy understands a lot more than I know and if he doesn’t, what harm is done, right?
Sigh. I love that kid.
We went swimming in the neighborhood pool today – twice, actually. We went before lunch but it started raining after we got there. Lucky for us, the rain waited until we’d all gotten into the pool ……. nice. Speedy climbed up the diving board and walked to the edge (it’s about 3 feet off of the water) but then turned around and decided he didn’t want any part of that. When we went back after lunch, there were a few boys running and jumping off the board and laughing like crazy. Speedy pointed and said, “I want to do that, mommy”! So we walked over there and I was fully prepared to back everyone up so he could climb back down. That kid walked fearlessly to the edge of the board and did not even hesitate before he jumped off into the water. All it took was for him to see someone else doing it and having fun. No fear.
Spending time at the pool today really warmed my heart. The older boys who were there were probably 11-13 years old and they were all so nice to Speedy. They had a bunch of bouncy balls they would bounce off the diving board and then try to catch them before they hit the water – of course, Speedy was mesmorized. He just watched them and laughed and laughed. When one of the balls bounced outside the pool, Speedy ran to get it. As he was taking it back to the boy, the boy was calling out to his friend, “hey, get me another boy so he can have one to play with.” He told Speedy to keep the ball and he’d get another one. It’s such a silly little thing but it still just about brings tears to my eyes. I guess I just haven’t been around many 11-13 year old boys who would even think to give a little kid something to play with. It was just really sweet.
And then right before we were leaving, Speedy was climbing up the ladder to go down the slide (he’d done it several times already) when he FELL from about 8 feet! Yes, you read that right, EIGHT FREAKIN’ FEET! I was in the water waiting to catch him and felt like Jesus when I saw him fall. I must have walked on the water to get out that fast and get over to him. All the boys who were there were right by him asking if he was okay. He was fine, it just scared the crap out of him (not to mention the massive coronary it almost gave me). Once we all knew he was fine, just a little shaken up, the boys started clapping for him and telling him how tough he was. Again, it was sweet the way they went out of their way to be nice to him. Although he wanted to go up the slide again my heart just couldn’t take it. (now he’ll probably never do it again – but I’m okay with that)
It’s funny. I don’t usually panic or get overly concerned with Speedy falls or bumps his head. Things that I see some other mommies really freaking out about don’t usually upset me. I always feel like the calmer I am, the calmer he will be and I can more easily determine if he is really hurt. And I guess I didn’t outwardly freak when he fell today, but it really scared me. I’m glad I was able to keep my cool and talk calmly to him while I was feeling his arms and watching the way he was standing to make sure nothing was broken. But on the inside, I felt a kind of scared I’ve never felt before. My heart still hurts thinking about it.
Little Miss Princess had a ball at the pool. She loves it when I dunk her under the water and I’m amazed at how well she holds her breath. She seems to have Speedy’s lack of fear and even tried to push away from me a few times so she could “do it herself”. But the only thing she can do herself is sink. She giggled and laughed and burped in a way that would shame any grown man. I was so proud.
At the risk of jinxing myself, Speedy hasn’t had an accident in a few days and managed to poop on the potty all day today. (though mommy almost pooped her pants today when he fell) He claps and is just so pleased with himself when he does it.
