Filed under: adoption
I can’t get my photos to upload but I’ll post them later. Five minutes after standing in front of the Judge, we are a legal family now. It’s all done.
The Judge told Speedy, “Happy Adoption Day” and so did our lawyer. He was very excited and said, “yaaaay!” after the lawyer said that to him.
In about six months, we’ll recieve new birth certificates that list us as the birth parents. So I guess you could say I gave birth to a 2 1/2 year old and a 13 month old this morning. Ouch.
I don’t feel any differently. Just ready to get on with the rest of our lives.
Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow.
Need I say more?
I don’t feel nervous, but I can tell I am a bit on edge. I can’t focus on much of anything and just keep thinking about tomorrow. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. Last night I had CRAZY dreams that I may tell you about some day. Not today. 
I went and bought ribbon this morning to make a bow that will match Emma’s dress. Like I really have time to be doing that….but I’m going to give it a try. All of this energy and excitement and I know it will be over in five minutes. I think Speedy senses the excitement in the air and he smiles real big every time I tell him we’re going to see the Judge tomorrow.
Here’s a few “Speedyisms” from today:
After putting him in timeout and him having a meltdown while there….
Me: Speedy, do you know why you were in time out?
Speedy: because I tried to hit sissy with my suspenders
Me: yes, and that is bad behavior. You could really hurt sissy like that – we don’t hit anyone with anything.
Speedy: no hit ANYONE
Me: you may get down now, come give me a hug
Speedy: (as he is huggin me) I forgib you, mommy.
Later in the car, we saw a man dressed crazy and dancing wildly on the side of the street (advertising for some local business)
Me: Look, Speedy, that silly man is dancing a jig!
Speedy: dat man is dancing like a pig, mommy?
I can think of little else but the adoption finalization on Tuesday. That, and planning for the celebration the following Sunday!
I just can’t wait to know that we can go out of town without getting anyone’s permission. No one will be coming to our house once a month to make sure we still meet the standards for certification. I will no longer have to fill out forms every time we go to the doctor or dentist.
Little things ……. but big to us.
I don’t know that I’ll feel any differently when the Judge declares us legally a family. I imagine maybe a huge sense of a weight being lifted from my shoulders – but I’m not sure. I just want to know we’re done. I want their names in writing. I want the birth certificate with our names listed as parents.
Several of our family members will be in court with us on Tuesday. It will be video taped and I’m sure we’ll get to take pictures with the Judge. I hope so, anyway. I hope that he will say something like, “Happy Family Day!” – Just for Speedy’s sake.
This is a crazy week – finalizing adoption, sworn in as an advocate and a big party in our home. Glad I don’t have anything to do this week. ha ha ha
Filed under: Child Advocates
People everywhere warn their children about strangers. But the most common predators on our children are people we know. People they know and trust. I was amazed to hear from a detective last night that about 90% of the sexual abuse cases he has worker – the stepfather or boyfriend of the mother was the perpetrator.
We listened to a recorded forensic interview of a seven year old little girl who described, in detail, performing or@l s$x on her FATHER. She talked about it like she was talking about playing chase. Although her face was blurred, I don’t think I’ll EVER forget the image of her I saw or the sound of her voice.
How hard will it be for me to work with a child who has been sexually abused? It would be excrutiating. I can’t imagine watching the forensic interview and then meeting that child face to face, knowing what’s been done.
But I have to tell you, I’m OVERWHELMED with compassion for these kids. I know my heart will break when I hear their stories but that’s no reason to walk away from it. I want to advocate for them. To be a voice for them. Afterall, someone has to.
Filed under: Child Advocates
I’m learning a lot in my training to become a Child Advocate and I’m very excited to get started. I’m also learning some sad facts:
“It is an odd comment on the western world that legislation for the prevention of cruelty to animals predated protection of children in most areas. A century ago in England, children eight and nine years old were forced to work longer hours in the coal mines than the pit mules that were protected by law.”
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it is okay to abuse animals but shouldn’t kids come first?
It was 1944 before the courts begin to restirct parental control in order to protect the well-being of a child. That really wasn’t that long ago.
I am getting soooo excited about the finalization. I can’t believe it is almost here. I haven’t had much time for writing this week because I’ve been doing my Child Advocates training. I’ll tell you more about it when I’m done next week.
In the meantime:
Yes, this is real. It’s not just a test to determine who can see what and if I’ve figured this thing out or not.
Changes abound in our household. In LESS THAN ONE WEEK we become an official family. Can you believe it? I’m just ecstatic!
It also looks like I’m about to start a new contract, professionally. It may not sound like much, but it’s going to be a relatively big change because it means I’ll be terminating my current contract. But the work will be a little more exciting and a little more consistent. Woo hoo!
Filed under: Day after day
I know you probably have a million user names and passwords to remember……but I’m going to add another one! Sorry, but it’s going to be easier for me to manage who sees what. The benefit to you is that you can see MORE! Please find the link on the right side bar that says “register”. It will ask for your email address (which will be your username) and then a password will be mailed to you. You will have the option of changing the password to something easy for you to remember.
From this point forward, all photos and other information that I don’t want to make available for google searches, etc, will be protected by this. If you aren’t logged in, you may not see everything, but a lot of the blog will still be public. and who knows, just for signing up you may get something special! but probably not.
Filed under: Uncategorized
still trying to figure this whole thing out
Filed under: Day after day
Okay, I know some of you have already followed me once. This will be the last time, I promise. At least it will be for the next two years.
I’m still workign on it so the appearance will likely change as I work out the kinks, but you’ll be able to follow along just as easily as you do here.
So, if interested, make the jump, change your bookmarks, update your links, etc…… I’m packing up and moving out.
In case you still haven’t clicked on any of the above links, you can find me here:
And you can even send email to info at myebenezer.net but I haven’t figured out how to check it yet.
Filed under: Day after day
I am. But not anyone else in our house. Princess has been running fever for a few days and has bronchitis AGAIN and now Speedy was up in the middle of the night with fever. Daddy-o isn’t feeling good but doesn’t have fever – yet. I’m good.
I have my first training session for Child Advocates today – I feel a little guilty leaving daddy-o behind with two sick kids, but if I don’t do the training now, it may be Fall before I can do it again. Besides, the kids aren’t puking or anything.
ANyway, I started a new project. I’m moving My Ebenezer to its own server so I’ve been spending some time getting that up and running. As soon as I have it all set, I’ll give you the new address- and this will be the last time I move!
Filed under: whatever wednesday
The Case of the Missing Underwear
We’ve all suffered attacks from sock thieves. I lose more sock for Speedy and Princess and end up buying new ones more often than I care to admit. I think the dryer eats them, but one can’t be sure. But seriously, my UNDERWEAR? Why can’t I find them?
I’ve done several loads of laundry the past few days but I still can’t find clean underwear. Not to worry, I’m not wearing dirty underwear, just down to the old ones in the back of the drawer that no one likes to wear. So where has my underwear gone? I KNOW I’ve washed it. But it is nowhere to be found. I understand why the kids’ socks get lost – they’re so tiny. But come on people, it’s not like my underwear is SMALL. Finding my underwear in a stack of laundry ought to be as easy as hitting the broad side of a barn. So where has it gone?
No, really, tell me.
Filed under: Day after day
I can’t wait to talk to daddy-o today. While he was in the shower last night, I snuck out to his truck and put valentine day confetti just inside his air conditioner vents and set the knob to high so they’d blow out at him when he started his truck. I also put some of the same confetti in his work box and within some of his paperwork. I don’t know if he has a meeting today, but I’m hoping he’ll pull out one of his folders in front of someone and little heart shaped confetti will pop out. That would be funny.
I did also leave him a nice card and a HUGE bag of M&M’s ……I also put a little M&M figure thing in his truck, left it stuck to the window with these little suction cup things. I think he’ll get a kick out of it.
Though, when I tried to call him this morning he didn’t answer his phone. ha ha ha
Speedy had a Valentine cup cake for breakfast. I was going to make heart shaped pancakes, but once he saw the cupcakes daddy left for him, that’s all he wanted. I know, not very nutritious but we already know I’m not winning any Mother of the Year contest.
I can’t believe we’ve had the kids for a year. I can’t believe that in just a couple of weeks, everything will be final. What will I blog about?
I suppose as one chapter closes another will open, right? Although it is the end of our adoption process, it is the beginning of the rest of our lives. A new chapter. If I were writing a book, I think the chapter titles would go something like this:
Chapter 1: When I was Seven
Chapter 2: Seventh Grade
Chapter 3: High School and why it sucked
Chapter 4: College and the Prodigal Son
Chapter 5: The Wasteland
Chapter 6: And then I met you
Chapter 7: The Wedding Planner
Chapter 8: I married an axe murderer
Chapter 9: Empty Womb, Hopeful Heart
Chapter 10: Jeremiah 29:11
And that would bring us to termination of parental rights. I think Chapter 11 would be called “Surviving Toddlers”.
Who knows what Chapter 12 will be about. Maybe one day I’ll elaborate on those chapters which probably mean nothing to anyone but me.
I hope to continue writing daily again but lately I’m just feeling a bit uninspired. Maybe I should start revisiting some of those chapters now. Better yet, maybe I’ll start those chapters on another blog and not reveal it to my family. Then I can tell you our deepest, darkest secrets. I could also include the chapter called “Family….” see, I can’t even type the rest of the title I thought of because ….well, just because. I adore my family, idiosyncrasies and all. But let’s face it, no autobiography is complete without a good chapter on family. And I’d have plenty to say – all good, of course, especially about my incredible mother and my amazing sister. And no, I didn’t write that just because you are reading this.
ANyway, I’m sure most of you have stopped reading by now. For those of you waiting for this to get interesting, I’ll leave you with Speedy’s latest revelation:
driving down the street, out of nowhere, Speedy pops out with, “My mommy FARTS!”
I can just see him yelling that out in court. Nice.
Well, Saturday marks one year since we brought Princess home from the hospital. I had to make another slideshow showing her growth over the last year. Sorry, guys, I just can’t help myself.
Filed under: whatever wednesday
I’m going ahead with training to become a child advocate. I’m a little uneasy about it, but there is a HUGE need for volunteers and I think I’ll do a good job. We’ll see.
Still planning a big party to celebrate the adoption for the 4th of March but I’m starting to get a little stressed about it. REthinking the “huge” part and considering turning it into an “open house” type deal. Guess I better hurry and make up my mind!
We are going to be temporarily relocating to a smaller suburb. It’s for daddy-o’s job and the company has offered to rent us a house since it is about an hour away and two during peak traffic. Daddy-o will be working long hours and we’d never see him if he had to commute. So we’re packing up and moving out. Sort of. I sure hope I can get high speed internet over there. Don’t know for sure when we’re leaving, but probably within the next month and half.
Some people really bug me. Like the guy who sat next to me during orientation yesterday. When he introduced himself, this is pretty much what he said, “I’m interested in being a translator because I am fluent in both English and Spanish. And I have a lot of free time because I’ve been disabled for the past few years. I am bipolar and haven’t been able to work – but on the days that I can get myself out of bed I think I’d be really good at this. I mean, I’m on medication and it’s mostly under control but I still have bad days.” OKAY. Thanks for sharing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone who suffers from bipolor disorder, i’m knocking people who share too much and make everyone else feel awkward. He should have stopped after the word “Spanish”.
It’s 9:20am and I am still in my pajamas. But i’ve gotten more accomplished this morning than I sometimes do all day. Go me.
Last night, we went to eat Mexican food. Before we left I actually changed my pants so that I could eat more. That’s pretty sick, isn’t it? I was wearing blue jeans and changed into my fat pants. What is WRONG with me?
How is it that laundry seems to multiply in the basket? What’s up with that?
We’re getting Speedy a little suit for our court date and for the baptism. I tried a sports coat on him the other day and he looked just adorable!
It was a several years ago when I first heard about Child Advocates. I gave it some thought but decided I wasn’t ready to really commit to it.
I’m ready now. Or at least I think I am. Children in foster care have a very special place in my heart, for obvious reasons. We’re not ready to take in more foster children at this point, but this is a great alternative for people who really want to make a difference.
“Volunteers serve children involved in the juvenile court system once appointed to a child’s case by a juvenile court judge. This means that our volunteers have the legal status of “guardians ad litem”, giving them the power to affect real change in the life of a child. Once appointed by a juvenile court judge, our Court Appointed Advocate volunteers begin a process of information gathering with the goal of guiding abused children out of the foster care system, identifying the child’s needs and ensuring rehabilitative services. They act as a communications link between the child and the juvenile courts. Volunteers gather all the pertinent information about their child’s case and make recommendations to the judge based on that information. “
This is what I’m talking about. Where case workers are generally assigned anywhere from 20-60 cases at any given time, it’s my understanding that CASA workers are only assigned one or two at a time, allowing the opportunity to really focus on the child at hand.
I’m going to an orientation meeting today and hoping that I will be as excited about it when I get home.
Thus, a new journey begins.
Yesterday and today Speedy has really been pushing the limits. He’s got a little cold and I guess that makes it difficult for him to hear what I’m saying or something. After correcting him for what seemed like the millionth time this afternoon, I thought to myself that life would be easier if he would just blindly obey me.
If only he would always do exactly as I say, when I say it, not only would my life be eaiser, but his would, too. In fact, while it may seem to him that I am restricting him, if he would obey me completely, he’d actually have a lot more freedom. Afterall, I’m implementing rules and regulations just to torture him, everything is for a reason – either safety, basic life skill training or even character building, but it is all for a purpose. Why doesn’t an almost 3 year old get that?
Hmmmm
Why can’t I get that? I mean, my Father wants me to obey Him blindly. I even understand and know that I will have more freedom if I do. Yet, still, I don’t always listen and obey. He’s not out to get me anymore than I’m out to get Speedy.
Funny how I can feel so exasperated with his behavior at times, but he’s only 2 (almost 3) years old. Imagine how exasperating it must be for our Father?
_______________________________________________
Conversation with Speedy after reading a todler Bible story:
Me: The best gift God gave us is Jesus. Speedy, what is the best present you’ve ever gotten?
Speedy: Mommy
Me: Mommy? I’m the best present you ever got?
Speedy: Nooooo
Me: Okay, so what is the best present you’ve gotten?
Speedy: Mommy!
And before reading one of our favorite books, “Happy Adoption Day”
Me: Speedy, what does ‘adoption’ mean?
Speedy: JUDGE!
Me: What will the judge say?
Speedy: Happy Family DAY!!!!! YAY!!!!
On February 5, 2006, we met Speedy and brought him home for the first time. Wearing only a t-shirt and a diaper, he came into our home and hearts and has been growing ever since. I’m hoping what words can’t describe can somehow be captured through pictures. Speedy’s transformation over the last year is truly a picture of God’s Grace.
Enjoy the slideshow, I’m warning you up front that it’s long. (about 4 minutes)
Filed under: Princess
Princess started playing peek-a-boo today. It was the first time she would hold something in front of her face and wait for you to say, “Where’d Princess go?” It was really cute.
And she accomplished this when she was running a high fever. Go figure. The girl has fever of 103.5 and she’s still smiling and laughing like nothing is wrong. You gotta love it.
