Filed under: Day after day
hee hee hee
We’re in the middle of taking down all the Christmas stuff and I have several boxed ready to go to the attic. Knowing daddy-o will soon be taking them up, I couldn’t resist a little practical joke. We’ve been known to have rats in our attic from time to time, a neighborhood-wide problem. It’s always scary going in the attic and we’re always very cautious opening the hatch, just in case. Although we haven’t had any rat action in recent months, I still think daddy-o is going to jump out of his skin when he pulls open the hatch later today.
I took a black t-shirt and balled it up tight and placed it just right so that when the hatch is about half-way open, it will fall on him!
There isn’t much that scares him but daddy-o has a thing about rodents. (don’t we all?) I’ll try to catch it on video and if he doesn’t say anything terrible, I’ll put it up for your viewing pleasure!
It’s hard to be brutally honest about my feelings today, knowing that one day Nathan and Emma might read it. But I believe honesty is the only way to go.
I set up an anonymous email account for Nathan and Emma, one that their biological parents can send emails to. I got the two emails this evening, which I’ll insert below, that were sent to Granny J and she forwarded them to me. I’m going to respond to Candace and Brandon from the right account for the kids, because I would like them to email directly to that account so we can take Granny J out of the middle.
Setting up that account was hard for me. Part of me does not want Candace and Brandon to be able to send anything for the kids, but I realize that it is not my place to punish them. I think that’s what I’d be doing. I have my own feelings to deal with where they are concerned, but this just isn’t about me. It’s about those two sweet babies sleeping down the hall and what they’ll have later on. I know in my heart that it will mean a lot to them to have anything from Brandon and Candace.
Here are the emails I received:
Hi my loves, we miss ya’ll very much. we hope you had a very merry christmas and got every thing you wanted.I’m sorry we cannot be there with you.we love you so much words can’t describe it.we will always love ya’ll for ever and ever!!!!!!!!                                    Â
   Cindy and Brian, we would just like to thank you for eveything you have done for our beautiful children.I could not ask for anyone better,ya’ll are so wonderful. I don’t think there is no way to say how much we appreciate it.Ya’ll will make wonderful parents to nathan and mia. love, mommy candace and daddy brandon
and the second one:
Hi Nathan and Mia,                                                                                                 Â
This is the second day I have had your email address and I just cannot wait to write you everyday.I miss ya’ll so much.I don’t really know you mia but that does not mean I love you any less.As for nathan my little buddy i was with every day we played all the time.you loved to ride your four wheeler and play with papa dwayne(who also misses you).It is so hard to figure out what to say because I’m not sure if anything i say is right.I just want ya’ll to know how much you all were loved by us and we are sorry we cannot be with you everyday.When you get older I hope you can understand what happened and can forgive me and your father for making bad decions.But one good thing is you have cindy and brian as your parents because I could not have made a better choice myself.I love ya’ll soooooooo much.                                                       love,candace woodruff
I was shocked when I read the notes. It just doesn’t jibe with what I know of Candace and Brandon, but maybe what I “know” is not really what “is”. One reason I want the emails to come directly to the account and not through Granny J is that I want to make sure they are the exact words of Brandon/Candace. Not that I think Granny J would edit them, but she loves the kids so much and I just don’t know. I want whatever they get from their birthparents to be real.
Who knows? Maybe the door will be opened and I can ask questions I think the kids may want answered some day. It’s hard to be open to this – I am jealous of them in many ways. Jealous they got the first two years with Nathan. Jealous that she felt them move in her womb. Angry that they neglected Nathan and angry that she put drugs into my Emma’s system.
God, please help me put aside my own feelings and focus on what is best for Nathan and Emma. Please help me to forgive Candace and Brandon and to show them your love.
Those of you with password access to picture posts will be surprised when you try to use your password on any posts after this one titled, “For my heart only”. There are some thoughts I want to capture here so the kids will have it later, but it will be for them only. So don’t feel like an outcast when you can’t get to the post, it’s not you, it’s me. Really. 
I’ve been very open about the entire process and will continue to be that way. One thing I have learned, however, is that when traveling these unchartered waters sometimes it’s best to go with your gut. While people mean well with words of wisdom and advice, it’s up to Daddy-o and I to choose what is best for our family. Not everyone would agree with all of our choices and that’s okay, but there are a few things that I’d rather not know you disagree with. Did that even make sense? Errr, umm….I feel we are doing what is right and I don’t need anyone making me second guess myself.
Whatever. Some of my thoughts are private and I won’t share them with you. So there.
And I guess I’m just evil for writing all of this instead of just saying, some posts are private – deal with it.
C’est la vie.
This is definitely the gift that keeps on giving!
Filed under: Speedy
Which do you want first?
Good news is that Speedy’s new car will not have diaper rash.
Bad news is that a plastic car painted with Boudreaux’s Butt Paste is harder than you might think to clean.
Stop laughing. Now. I mean it.
Reason number 3876 why I should not win the mother of the year award:
Talking with Princess’ doctor this morning, he mentioned that he was going to give her another RX for the antibiotic she’s been taking. Because she now has Bronchiolitis and is on a nebeulizer with Albutural, he felt it best to stay on the antibiotic. Here’s the part where I display my retarded mothering skills: He says, “she’ll continue on this antibiotic at 1/2 teaspoon twice a day.” The only smart thing I did was to not open my mouth and let my thoughts poor out: “TWICE a day? OH MY GOSH! Did he really just say TWICE a day? No wonder she’s still sick and ran fever for so long, I’ve only been giving it to her ONCE a day. Dang! There goes my Mother of the Year award………again.”
But, I just nodded and smiled and acted like I knew what I was doing. And then went home and read the instructions for the nebeulizer twenty times. And, yes, I did read the instructions for the antibiotic, I just chose not to process what it said. And, mom, I love you but if you call me and say something like, “don’t you know you’re supposed to check the label every time” I think I’ll scream.
My butt is already sore from my own foot kicking it.
I must say, though, that Princess is quite the little trooper. She doesn’t mind the breathing treatments at all and even laughs part of the time. And so far, it doesn’t make her hyper. But it does make me a little hyper. Although she doesn’t mind it, she does wiggle a lot so i have to hold her close to me to keep her still and I end up inhaling part of the medicine as well. I had lots of energy after this morning’s treatment and I’m thinking it won’t be a bad way to start tomorrow. ha ha ha
My lovely sister and the DRUM SET she bought for Speedy. You can see he loves it!
So I’ve been thinking we could all use a little more pink in our lives.
I bought two more pairs of fat pants today; one in the same color (black) and one in dark gray. I think I’ll wear them until summer.
I’m reading Stormie Omartian’s Power of a Praying Parent and so is my sister. We’re supposed to be having some kind of discussions about it or something – anyone want to join in?
Christmas was a ton of fun and I think we are all still recuperating. Speedy has so many new toys that he is keeping himself pretty busy most of the day and so is Princess.
I can’t believe I will be giving her a one year birthday party in just a month! That’s insane, she can’t possibly be turning one! I’m hoping the adoption will finalize around that time and we can celebrate everything all at once. And please, NO PRESENTS. I don’t think there is anything you could buy that they don’t already have anyway.
Filed under: Day after day
There’s a new relationship in my life I’ve been meaning to tell you about. Have you ever felt that you’d found a part of yourself that had been missing? A piece that made every other part of you feel better? You know, that feeling you get when you curl up in a big blanket by a fire on a cold, rainy day……..or when you take that first bite of Brownie Batter Ice Cream from Ben and Jerry’s……or when you’re all dressed up and looking your finest…..
You know what I mean. Right?
I’ve neglected to write about it before because I know that as good as it makes me feel, it is really an unhealthy relationship. Honestly, it has become a little obsessive.
I feel like I can’t go a day without it and I don’t know what I’d do if I had to.
Fat pants. What would we do without them? I have a new pair and I’ve had them on since Christmas Eve. Okay, I’ve parted with them briefly so they could be washed, but other than that they have been stuck to my butt. I even slept in them last night and I NEVER sleep in pants. These are the best fat pants ever. They are snug enough to not look frumpy, as most fat pants do, but stretchy enough to be the most comfortable pants I’ve ever owned. I can get away with wearing them to church because they are black and actually meant to be a little dressier….although they have been washed so many times now that I won’t be able to get away with it much longer.
Anyway, I LOVE my fat pants. I’m going back to the store and buying a few more pair if they still have them. I just can’t stand the thought of living without my dear fat pants.
And, yes, I know I am sick. But if you’ve ever had a pair of really good fat pants, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Let me have my moment of glory because I know the day will come when I will have to put real pants on again and my bubble will burst. I’ll realize that although I felt skinny in my fat pants (because that makes sense) I was actually packing on the pounds while my wonderful pants stretched to accomodate my growing belly. Until then, I’m staying in my fat pants and only taking them off to wash them.
And if, by chance, you have seen my fat pants and you feel the need to tell me that, no, actually they are not flattering and do look frumpy, just keep it to yourself. My perception is my reality and I’d like to keep it that way.
Filed under: Day after day
There’s a new relationship in my life I’ve been meaning to tell you about. Have you ever felt that you’d found a part of yourself that had been missing? A piece that made every other part of you feel better? You know, that feeling you get when you curl up in a big blanket by a fire on a cold, rainy day……..or when you take that first bite of Brownie Batter Ice Cream from Ben and Jerry’s……or when you’re all dressed up and looking your finest…..
You know what I mean. Right?
I’ve neglected to write about it before because I know that as good as it makes me feel, it is really an unhealthy relationship. Honestly, it has become a little obsessive.
I feel like I can’t go a day without it and I don’t know what I’d do if I had to.
Fat pants. What would we do without them? I have a new pair and I’ve had them on since Christmas Eve. Okay, I’ve parted with them briefly so they could be washed, but other than that they have been stuck to my butt. I even slept in them last night and I NEVER sleep in pants. These are the best fat pants ever. They are snug enough to not look frumpy, as most fat pants do, but stretchy enough to be the most comfortable pants I’ve ever owned. I can get away with wearing them to church because they are black and actually meant to be a little dressier….although they have been washed so many times now that I won’t be able to get away with it much longer.
Anyway, I LOVE my fat pants. I’m going back to the store and buying a few more pair if they still have them. I just can’t stand the thought of living without my dear fat pants.
And, yes, I know I am sick. But if you’ve ever had a pair of really good fat pants, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Let me have my moment of glory because I know the day will come when I will have to put real pants on again and my bubble will burst. I’ll realize that although I felt skinny in my fat pants (because that makes sense) I was actually packing on the pounds while my wonderful pants stretched to accomodate my growing belly. Until then, I’m staying in my fat pants and only taking them off to wash them.
And if, by chance, you have seen my fat pants and you feel the need to tell me that, no, actually they are not flattering and do look frumpy, just keep it to yourself. My perception is my reality and I’d like to keep it that way.
We’ve been fighting against our packratting ways for months now – throwing things out, removing clutter one step at a time. Still have much clutter but we’ve gotten rid of a lot of it, too. I’ve even removed several toys that weren’t played with much anymore.
No more.
I’m going to be content with being a packrat, at least when it comes to toys. I won’t be going through the toys and carefully removing and donating ones that we just don’t need anymore.
On the day that Granny and Grandad J came to celebrate Christmas, we told Speedy they were coming with presents for him. And that he didn’t have to wait to open them, he could open them that day.
And my sweet, precious little boy looked at us and said, “then the toys go away.” It wasn’t a question but a statement. I laughed and explained that no, of course the toys wouldn’t go away, they would be his to keep forever.
I missed it, but Daddy-O didn’t.
We’d talked about Christmas presents before but he’d never asked about the presents going away. It was only when Granny J was coming that it became an issue. Daddy-O finally told me, just tonight, what I clearly missed. Granny and Grandad J used to buy things for Speedy regularly ….. and now I’m guessing that some of those things would go away after Granny J left.
I know she has mentioned before that she “doesn’t know whatever happened to this or to that….” but I’m guessing we know what happened. She called tonight and I told her about what Speedy said and she told me that while she couldn’t be sure, it wouldn’t surprise her. She told me that they had purchased nursery furniture and everything else that was needed when bio mom was pregnant with SPeedy. Granny J said they bought them a very nice stroller and bio mom told Granny J one day that the wheel on the stroller broke so she threw it away.
I’m guessing that’s probably not what really happened. And I’m guessing that it happened with some of Speedy’s toys, too.
And it breaks my heart.
And it makes me mad.
So, no, sweet boy of ours, your toys will not be going away. I’m not even going to rotate them anymore, I’m leaving them all out where you can see them until I am certain you are old enough to understand. In the meantime, if you get tired of playing with them, we’ll just buy you new ones.
I won’t snort, shoot up or smoke your toys. Not ever. Mommies don’t do that.
And I’m so sorry I even have to make that promise to you.
Filed under: parenting
Our Christmas celebrations started yesterday morning when Granny and Grandad J came over with loads of presents for the kids. Speedy knew just what to do and could hardly wait for them to set the presents down before he tore into them!
The kids really racked up and it was just the beginning…… it was very special for them to spend that time with Granny and Grandad J. They gave us a card that I will treasure for a lifetime. It was very sweet and what was written inside really touched my heart. I won’t quote it word for word but part of it said, “You two are our real gift this year. We’ve been praying for someone to rescue our babies and little did we know you were praying for babies to love….”
Tonight we spent Christmas Eve with Daddy-o’s family at Oma’s house and it was very special. Speedy really got excited when we all sat around in a circle and sang Christmas carols in both English and in German. He may not have know the words to most of the songs but it didn’t stop him from singing at all! After each song, he would say, “All done now! Time for Presents!” or he would say, “gwate song”!
He and Princess racked up there as well and already have more than they could ever need in the way of toys. But we’re only half way done.
I wish I could have captured the look on SPeedy’s face tonight as we were putting him to sleep and I was telling him what would happen tonight. How Santa and his reindeer would land on our roof and he would come down the chimney to leave presents! Speedy’s eyes were so big! And he went right to sleep when we put him in bed.
And after he fell asleep, Daddy-O and I got to do what we’ve been wanting to do for a very long time. We got to play Santa. We put SPeedy’s train together and set out Princess’s doll. We stuffed the stockings and brought all the presents out. We ate Santa’s cookie and drank his milk. And we loved every minute of it. I can’t wait to see his face tomorrow morning and then again tomorrow at Grammy’s house.
I can, however, wait for him to play the drumset his aunt (who must hate me) bought him.
Merry Christmas all, and to all a good night.
Filed under: bio family
I’ve often been asked why I blog and I think I finally have an answer that might satisfy inquiring minds:
It makes me feel better. Right now, I’m a little twisted up inside and I know that after I’ve written this post, I’ll feel better. I guess it is the cheapest therapy availble.
When I refer to the birthfamily of our kids, I don’t mean to include Granny and Grandad J in that reference, although they are certainly part of Princess and Speedy’s biological family. But they are also part of our family now. When I use the term “birthfamily” I am referring to the biological parents and biological maternal grandparents. Still with me?
Granny J called tonight to let me know that bio-gma called her to ask about clothing and shoe sizes for Speedy and Princess. They want to get them some things for Christmas. I knew this was coming because Granny J mentioned it to me a while back. I have to be honest, the mother bear in me wanted to pull my baby cubs close and strike out in defense at ANY attempt of ANY type of contact with that part of the birth family.
My gut reaction was to say no. Thankfully, I didn’t go with my gut reaction. As Daddy-O and I talked through it, we asked ourselves why we would choose to not allow the birthfamily to send gifts for the children via Granny J? And we couldn’t come up with a good reason; in fact, the only reason I could come up with was more in the way of punishing them than it was in protecting Speedy and Princess.
We won’t even tell Speedy that the present(s) are from his birthfamily, but we will give them to him and take pictures and probably even send some of those pictures back to their birthfamily. And when the toys/clothes are outgrown, I’ll put them away in a special box along with a note indicating who they are from and when they were given. Someday, it may mean a great deal to Speedy and to Princess to know that the gifts were given. Who am I to stand in the way of that? Won’t they at some point be comforted by this small act of love? Who knows? But I won’t deprive them of the opportunity.
I did ask Granny J to mention to the birthfamily how much it would mean to Speedy and to Princess to some day have a letter from them to read. I hope they will consider writing something to them as well. (we wouldn’t read this to them as a bed time story or anything, but they’d have it for “someday”)
Legally, they have no rights. We don’t have to give them anything. We don’t have to allow pictures to be shared. But there is a world of difference between “have” and “should”. We’ve never walked this road before and we don’t pretend to know how to navigate safely to destination we’ll all be happy with. All we know is what is in our heart and it’s the only compass we’ll use to get there.
There are many people with many opinions about what is right and wrong for Speedy and Princess. I’m glad I’ve never been a person afraid to go against popular persuasion. While I am open to hearing other opinions and finding perspectives I may not be aware of, the main opinion I want is God’s. I can’t say I always know His “opinion” on matters but I di know His character. And His is a character of mercy and forgiveness and love. And we have faith that He will guide us. We also have faith that He will protect our children; that He will help us discern what is best for them and will help us to have courage in the face of fear when it comes to the birthfamily.
Afterall, I believe it is fear that makes me want to burn anything that is sent from the birthfamily, but love that will keep from doing it.
Oh yeah, and bio gma asked Grandad J if he thought I would be okay with Grandad J calling from his cell phone when they are here on Saturday so that the bio gma and bio family could talk to Speedy. Um, NO! Although Granny J wasn’t asking me to do this, she was merely repeating the request from bio gma, my exact words were “absolutely not“. Which is pretty much what Grandad J had already told bio gma.
Are you confused yet with all the characters in our little play?
I don’t see anything wrong with a few gifts and letters, etc….. but that’s because they are things the kids will have later to look back on. I’m not about to confuse my sweet baby boy by putting him on the phone with his birth family. We trust God to protect our kids and I think He trusts us to use our common sense.
And look at that. I don’t post for a few days and then BAM! I’m all over the place with a novel. So why stop now?
Overheard by Speedy recently:
- that’s enough walking
- I puttin’ my boogers in my hair
- Mommy, I cited for Cwistmas
- Dear Gawd, thank you for the twain pwesent from Santa (talk about confidence!)
- Mommy, that chocolate man (pointing to an African American man in Target)
- WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH (as he sat on Santa’s lap for a picture)
Filed under: Uncategorized
Emma Grace now has both of her two front bottom teeth coming in, and she isn’t even very fussy! Woo Hoo!
Filed under: Speedy
Along with Speedy’s new interest in using the potty comes the fascination with the “big potty”. I’ve caught him trying to flush a diaper down the toilet and we’ve had the “you don’t put thing in the big potty” conversation a hundred times over.
But I now know we should have had one hundred and one times.
I bought Speedy and Princess the cutest Christmas PJs at Old Navy on Friday. Saturday morning, Speedy’s pajama pants disappeared – strangely enough, I noticed this magical event right after he’d been caught playing in the bathroom. I asked him about the pants and he said, “they were dirty….I fwushed em in da potty.” They have yet to turn up anywhere so I’m assuming that the poor santa pants really were flushed.
Thing 3875 that I did not know prior to having kids:
you CAN flush clothing down the toilet.
Filed under: parenting
11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Mathew 7:11
So I guess you already know where I’m going with this, right?
We are SOOOO excited for Christmas and I’ve had a great time buying presents for the kids. We keep talking with Speedy about the real meaning of Christmas and why Santa brings us gifts, etc… and he’s very excited, too.
Daddy-O and I decided that we’d get a set number of gifts for Speedy so that we don’t overdo it. He’s having FOUR “Christmases” afterall and will not be in short supply of new toys. I’m really having a hard time sticking to our agreement because I think of something else that I know he’s just love.
In all of my shopping and preparing for Christmas, I have gained a whole new understanding of God’s love for us. As much as I want to give good things to Speedy and Princess – and I don’t just mean “stuff” – God wants to give us so much more and on a much grander scale. What better time of year is there to reflect on the “good stuff” God has for each of us?
Filed under: Princess
is my two front teeth….my two front teeth.
Well, it looks like Princess will have at least one of her two front teeth! After me guessing she was teething for MONTHS, finally, we have breakthrough.
Sigh.
She’s growing up too fast and I know having a tooth in her mouth will make her look that much older. I’m not ready for her to be older. I guess I have a lifetime of feeling that way ahead of me, don’t I?
Filed under: Princess
is my two front teeth….my two front teeth.
Well, it looks like Princess will have at least one of her two front teeth! After me guessing she was teething for MONTHS, finally, we have breakthrough.
Sigh.
She’s growing up too fast and I know having a tooth in her mouth will make her look that much older. I’m not ready for her to be older. I guess I have a lifetime of feeling that way ahead of me, don’t I?
Filed under: The Process
Our own little Christmas miracle…..our adoption worker came out to the house today to see the kids and explain the process from here on out. She told us we were wating on two other departments; one of them being the department that redacts all the files. She mentioned that we could sign a waiver saying we would finalize adoption without reading the files and we jumped on that. Otherwise, it could have been another two months before we got to sign placement papers. Anyway, to make a long story short, she expects us to sign placement papers by the end of NEXT WEEK! Woo Hoo!
At that time, the children will no longer be considered in foster care! About 30 days after, we’ll be able to finalize the adoption in court!
Praise God!
Guess you can tell we’ve been a little busy around here. Let’s see if I can catch you up:
I have no idea what to get the Princess for Christmas. What does a 1 yr old really need/want? Help?
Speedy’s new favorite thing is peeing on the potty. The other day I found him sitting on it with his pants around his ankles and he had thrown his diaper in the trash. AND, he had actually peed in the potty. Guess he’s trying to tell me something.
Princess has decided that the word “no” is not applicable to her. I know she knows what it means because when I say “no” she turns and looks directly at me – then laughs and does what she wants to anyway.
When I was explaining to Speedy that Oma went to heaven to live with Jesus, he was very concerned. He said, “she go school wit Jesus? she pway wit Jesus?” you can tell what his top priorities are.
Speedy can’t seem to keep his bottom in his high chair for ANYTHING. After telling him repeatedly to put his hiney in the chair, when he stood up again I said, “Speedy, where is your hiney?” and he looked at me like I was ridiculous and said, “it behind me, mommy!”
I’ve addressed most of the Christmas cards and have already sent out the electronic ones I’m sending. I think I’ll actually even get them mailed this year. Woo Hoo!
I’m going to try to finish shopping tomorrow so if you read this post leave me ideas for Princess. paaahhhlease!
I am not known for my ability to hold my tongue but even I have the common sense to know when to shut up from time to time. I mean, really? Is it that hard to watch what you say when little ears are listening?
I get so excited about the whole story of how we became a family that I too often share it with people who really don’t need to know. It’s a habit that I’ve cut back on after getting the same response from a few people (more on that later). But it’s hard, you know? I mean, God has blessed us so much and I want to share that with others. When people comment about the age difference or ask if it was hard being pregnant while chasing a toddler, what am I supposed to say? I guess I should just say they are adopted and leave it at that, but we all know I’m no good at “leaving ANYTHING at that.”
So I usually say we are adopting from foster care and they are siblings and we got them both at the same time and yes, it was hard but wonderful and God has been so faithful. We didn’t know if we’d be able to adopt them but we felt God leading us to foster anyway and so we did and look how His plan turned out……. yadda yadda yadda
More than once, the question that came out of someone’s mouth had the mother bear in me rearing back, ready to pounce. After explaining that we brought Princess home from the hospital and brought Speedy home when he was 22 months old, it’s been asked, “Oh, why didn’t they want them? He is so cute.” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Did you REALLY just say that right in front of my child? Lucky for you he is still watching or I’d pound you. Of course, I just smile and say, “oh, EVERYONE wanted him! Sometimes the court decides it’s in a child’s best interest to get new parents, but the birthparents love him so much.” And I get away as fast as I can.
I know, it’s my fault. I can’t tell our story anymore, especially in front of Speedy. We talk about it at home and I tell him a story about “a little boy name Speedy” and how God gave him a new mommy and daddy who had been praying for a little boy just like him. We’ve got that end covered. It’s the stupid people I need help with.
Hmmm. When he came into my office like this he was meowing. Guess he was trying to draw wiskers on his face.
I knew it was too quiet in the playroom. Seems somebody snuck into the kitchen, got his backpack for school AND a SHARPIE MARKER and had some fun. He ate the candy out of his lunch and if you look closely you’ll see he actually DREW on his sandwich and a few cheetos. LOL
I knew it was too quiet in the playroom. Seems somebody snuck into the kitchen, got his backpack for school AND a SHARPIE MARKER and had some fun. He ate the candy out of his lunch and if you look closely you’ll see he actually DREW on his sandwich and a few cheetos. LOL
Filed under: Day after day
I couldn’t be more excited about Christmas, though this year it will be much different. Different good because of the kids and different bad because we lost Oma this morning.
Oma was daddy-o’s grandma and she was one tough broad. I can say that because she died at the ripe old age of 93 and she ruled the roost up until her last breath. She lived alone until just a few months ago. Fiesty is a good word to describe Oma.
She used to fuss at me for not cooking more, and when I’d give her a hard time right back she’d just laugh. She adored our kids. Her whole face lit up every time we brought them to see her, especially in the last weeks of her life. There are many things I could tell you about Oma, but the one thing that really sticks out in my mind is something that happened long before I knew her; long before I was even born.
She grew up in Germany and moved here with her husband and three small children a very long time ago. (I don’t remember the year exactly but it was about 55 years) She and her husband brought their family here by boat and went through Ellis Island. They worked very hard to provide for their family here and I’m just amazed at the whole story.
I can still here her sweet little German accent as she said my name. Oma was ready to leave this place and move on to the next. I know she is sitting at the feet of Jesus today. In fact, I imagine she is telling daddy-’s father all about the grandkids he never got to meet.
Every Christmas Eve we always have dinner at Oma’s house and sing Christmas carols in both German and English before we open presents, one at a time. Daddy-O has been at Oma’s house on Christmas Eve for all but one of his 34 years. This year will be the last. The plan is to still have Christmas Eve there but it will be moved next year. A final closing on a chapter of a life that touched many.
Here is a poem the family will have read at her memorial service, I think it is beautiful for anyone who has lost someone and wanted to share it here. If you happen to know who wrote it, please let me know.
“When I come to the end of the road
and the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little – but not too long
and not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me – but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take
and each must go alone
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan
a stop on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know
and bury your sorrow in doing good deeds
Miss me – but let me go.”
