and finally, the two of them together!
For some reason, Speedy loves to wear his sister’s hats…..makes Daddy-O REAL proud…:D
She loves these things but they just get EVERYWHERE!
.
He looked so grown up with his backpack on and everything!
Filed under: Uncategorized
Okay, seriously. This getting out of bed thing is out of control. I’m open to suggestions. I tried bribery – I had him pick out several good snacks from the kitchen – all sweets – and we put them in a bag. I told him if he stayed in bed until I came to get him after nap time that he could pick one of those treats. As he turned to walk to his room I congratulated myself on being so clever.
I should know better than to count my chickens before they hatch. Soon after returning to his room I heard a loud crash. Although he was still in bed, he had obviously been standing up and pulling on the shades because they fell.
The last time he got out of his bed he was playing in his tent. So maybe he doesn’t need to nap anymore and I’m okay with that, but I DO! I need a break in the middle of the day and he needs at least a quiet time. I’m thinking that I’ll start putting some books or other quiet toys in his bed.
Any other ideas? Sometimes he really needs to nap – I can tell he is just wiped out.
Filed under: Speedy
Something terrible has happened in our house. Speedy has learned that he can get out of his bed by himself. This is bad news for mommy and daddy-o.
The past few mornings he has gotten out of bed if I don’t make it in there fast enough. Yesterday morning, he walked to my bedroom door and then started fake crying and saying, “mommy-o, wher awr you?” So I said, “come on in, sweetie, you can come into mommy’s room.” And he comes running through the door laughing, saying, “I am AWAKE!”
Today, we put him down for a nap and we went to our room to take a nap ourselves. We heard him get out of bed before we actually made it to our room so daddy-o picked him up and put him back in bed. Our rule is that we don’t talk to him or say anything or act mad, we just pick him up and put him back in bed. Unless, of course, we are DYING laughing at the time. So we’re laying in bed and daddy-o whispers, “he’s crawling into our room.” Somewhere, Speedy learned to be sneaky and figured out if he crawled it would take us longer to see him.
So daddy-o got up again and put him back in bed. We layed in bed laughing until we heard him again and decided to pretend like we were asleep (like any good parent would do) and see what he would do. So we layed there and he crawled into our room a little ways and grabbed the door at the bottom and pulled it closed. Then he sat outside the door talking – it was almost as though he thought the door would keep us from hearing him and he was testing his theory. Or trying to see if we had fallen asleep in the 30 seconds it took him to get back out of bed again.
I was giggling and doing everything I could to try to sound like I was sleeping. Here comes Speedy back through the door again and this time he sits just inside our doorway and starts singing one of our night- night songs. I couldn’t keep it in anymore so I got out of bed and as soon as he saw me he took off running down the hall towards his room. He must have thought maybe I wouldn’t really be heading towards his room – like maybe he ran so fast that I really didn’t see him or something – because when he got to his room he turned to look back and see if I was coming.
As I was walking through his door, he was laying his head on his pillow and said, “i go to sleep now…” and as I was walking out of his room I heard what was obviously a very fake yawn.
That kid. Who could sleep after that?
Where do I start?
Some of this may bore you to tears but I’m trying to write as much as possible about today so that I will be able to share it later on with the kids.
We told Speedy that we were going to court today to talk to a Judge and that’s why Granny was taking him to school. (MDO) He was fine with it and gave us big hugs before we left.
On the way in, I was definitely more nervous about seeing BM and BF than I was about the hearing itself. I felt confident that termination would be granted, but I was feeling very anxious about seeing them for all the reasons mentioned before and then some. Part of me didn’t think they would show up and the other part of me was a little disappointed when they didn’t.
That’s right. They were a no show. Everyone was told to be there by 9am and our case was called about 10am, so they may have shown up late, but I doubt it. They knew what was going to happen and they really had no defense.
The attorney for CPS started off by listing the grounds for termination and then questioning our CPS case worker who just gave the basic information that services were provided but never taken, etc…. Dates of last visits, conversations from last week blah blah blah and then the other attorneys questioned her. I kinda felt sorry for the attorneys who represented BM and BF as they really had nothing to go on. I could tell they were really only putting forth enough effort to do their job but really, they knew it was an open and shut case. They birthparents had done NOTHING.
After the CPS lawyer, the lawyer for BM, the lawyer for BF and the lawyer for the kids took their turns with the CPS caseworker it was our turn. Now, this was a little surprising to me as we weren’t really expecting to testify or anything like that. SURPRISE! I was asked if BM or BF ever provided food, clothing or financial support to us for taking care of Speedy and Princess. I told them of a few outfits and some toys that they had brought to some of the visits. I was asked if I was present at the visits and got to witness some of the interaction between birthparents and kids. I told them I could not see a bond between Speedy and BM but there did seem to be one between Speedy and BF. I was asked if they were on time for visits and I told them that they were on time for most of them. These were all asked of me by the CPS attorney. The attorney for the children asked me if I thought that birthparents were under the influence during any of the visits. I told them that I could not be sure as I’m not too familiar with drug use but they did seem a little out of it at times and very talkative at others. Then I was asked about their eyes, “can you desribe their eyes?” Sometimes it appeared that their pupils might be larger than normal. Then I was asked if I had been in contact with the paternal grandparents and I explained that relationship. The only thing I was asked by the attorney for either of the parents was whether or not we planned to keep the birth family involved in the children’s lives and I told her that we were with the grandparents but not with the parents unless MAJOR changes were made.
Attorneys for BM and BF gaving “closing arguments” on why conditions for termination had not been met. CPS lawyer responded and slam dunked the case. Judge said he was “accepting” termination on those grounds and would sign the final orders on October 17. Basically, that gives BM and BF 20 days to appeal this decision and if they do not, then termination will be completely finished on October 17.
After October 17, the case files are handed over to an adoption worker within CPS. This is the worker we need to be praying for now, that we’ll get a GREAT worker who works fast. He/she will pretty much determine how quickly we get through everything else. We’ll have to come in and read the entire file and do a few other administrative things and then we’ll sign adoption placement papers. 30 days after signing, we’ll finalize the adoption and party like it’s 1999. 
I expected to feel differently. I think I was so geared up to face the birthparents that when they didn’t show it was just anti-climatic. I don’t know. Maybe I expected to suddenly feel more like a family but what I realized is that we’ve been a family for a long time already. We couldn’t love them anymore than we do already. These are the children God chose for us a long time ago. We’ve always known that – now the “system” knows it, too.
Thank you for all of your prayers. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your encouragement. Mostly, Thank God for a gift we don’t deserve, for trusting us with two precious little lives and for teaching us to trust Him more.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
Where do I start?
Some of this may bore you to tears but I’m trying to write as much as possible about today so that I will be able to share it later on with the kids.
We told Speedy that we were going to court today to talk to a Judge and that’s why Granny was taking him to school. (MDO) He was fine with it and gave us big hugs before we left.
On the way in, I was definitely more nervous about seeing BM and BF than I was about the hearing itself. I felt confident that termination would be granted, but I was feeling very anxious about seeing them for all the reasons mentioned before and then some. Part of me didn’t think they would show up and the other part of me was a little disappointed when they didn’t.
That’s right. They were a no show. Everyone was told to be there by 9am and our case was called about 10am, so they may have shown up late, but I doubt it. They knew what was going to happen and they really had no defense.
The attorney for CPS started off by listing the grounds for termination and then questioning our CPS case worker who just gave the basic information that services were provided but never taken, etc…. Dates of last visits, conversations from last week blah blah blah and then the other attorneys questioned her. I kinda felt sorry for the attorneys who represented BM and BF as they really had nothing to go on. I could tell they were really only putting forth enough effort to do their job but really, they knew it was an open and shut case. They birthparents had done NOTHING.
After the CPS lawyer, the lawyer for BM, the lawyer for BF and the lawyer for the kids took their turns with the CPS caseworker it was our turn. Now, this was a little surprising to me as we weren’t really expecting to testify or anything like that. SURPRISE! I was asked if BM or BF ever provided food, clothing or financial support to us for taking care of Speedy and Princess. I told them of a few outfits and some toys that they had brought to some of the visits. I was asked if I was present at the visits and got to witness some of the interaction between birthparents and kids. I told them I could not see a bond between Speedy and BM but there did seem to be one between Speedy and BF. I was asked if they were on time for visits and I told them that they were on time for most of them. These were all asked of me by the CPS attorney. The attorney for the children asked me if I thought that birthparents were under the influence during any of the visits. I told them that I could not be sure as I’m not too familiar with drug use but they did seem a little out of it at times and very talkative at others. Then I was asked about their eyes, “can you desribe their eyes?” Sometimes it appeared that their pupils might be larger than normal. Then I was asked if I had been in contact with the paternal grandparents and I explained that relationship. The only thing I was asked by the attorney for either of the parents was whether or not we planned to keep the birth family involved in the children’s lives and I told her that we were with the grandparents but not with the parents unless MAJOR changes were made.
Attorneys for BM and BF gaving “closing arguments” on why conditions for termination had not been met. CPS lawyer responded and slam dunked the case. Judge said he was “accepting” termination on those grounds and would sign the final orders on October 17. Basically, that gives BM and BF 20 days to appeal this decision and if they do not, then termination will be completely finished on October 17.
After October 17, the case files are handed over to an adoption worker within CPS. This is the worker we need to be praying for now, that we’ll get a GREAT worker who works fast. He/she will pretty much determine how quickly we get through everything else. We’ll have to come in and read the entire file and do a few other administrative things and then we’ll sign adoption placement papers. 30 days after signing, we’ll finalize the adoption and party like it’s 1999.
I expected to feel differently. I think I was so geared up to face the birthparents that when they didn’t show it was just anti-climatic. I don’t know. Maybe I expected to suddenly feel more like a family but what I realized is that we’ve been a family for a long time already. We couldn’t love them anymore than we do already. These are the children God chose for us a long time ago. We’ve always known that – now the “system” knows it, too.
Thank you for all of your prayers. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your encouragement. Mostly, Thank God for a gift we don’t deserve, for trusting us with two precious little lives and for teaching us to trust Him more.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Termination granted. Music to my ears. They have 20 days to appeal but they won’t, and even if they do it won’t matter. Final papers for termination will be signed on October 17.
Thank you for your prayers and your words of encouragement and support. Please start praying that the adoption worker who is assigned to this case will work quickly so we can finalize the adoption soon.
More later.
Thank you, God.
Filed under: The Process
I don’t know if I’ll sleep tonight or night, I’m very excited about tomorrow. Our case worker from CPS came out today and she is confident that TPR will be granted. Of course, she throws in the disclaimer that anything COULD happen, but she expects to get termination.
What I worry about the most is seeing BM and BF. I feel like a coward because I don’t want to face them, but I guess I’m not a coward because wild horses couldn’t keep me from that courtroom. I don’t know if they will really be there or not but I do know that if they are there, they will want to talk to us. That could go either way, my friends.
They’ve been very nice, for the most part, all along but things have definitely changed a bit. I’m hoping that they know how much we love the kids and that they are as glad as they can be that they at least know who will have them. Maybe I’m asking for too much. I still pray they will voluntarily sign over their rights so that I can tell Princess and Speedy some day that their birthparents loved them enough to do what was best for them in the end.
We’ll be if termination is granted but then we’ll have to call Granny J and tell her about it. That will be a bittersweet for both of us. I know she’ll be glad the kids are safe and sound and in a better place, but I can’t imagine what it must be like to watch your son lose custody of his children. I don’t know.
Believe me, we’ll be celebrating. We may even go pick Speedy up from MDO early just so we can all be together. We’re going to celebrate either way tomorrow because we believe God is in control.
And don’t worry, I’ll be by to post the outcome as soon as we get home.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Okay, internets, It’s time to pray.
I got an email from Granny last night and her son (BF) had called her. He said that they (indicating all of them, BM, BF, plus maternal grandparents) would be in court on Tuesday. We’ll see if they actually show up, but it does make my stomach hurt a little bit.
I guess I’m a little afraid of a confrontation and on top of that, I just don’t want to face them. I can’t imagine someone taking Speedy and Princess away from me right now and regardless of anything else going on with them, it has to be more difficult than we could imagine. I don’t want to see that look on their faces.
When I read the email I immediately got knots in my stomach and started to worry about whether or not this will change anything. Then I heard that still small voice in my heart telling me that circumstances may change but God never does. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is still in control of this situation and we will trust Him with the outcome. As much as we want termination to happen tomorrow, it is His will, not ours, that we seek.
And who knows? Maybe it will really be a good thing if they do show up. Then they will have to answer for where they’ve been the last 12 weeks and why they haven’t even started any of their services. Showing up at this point may actually do more harm for their case than good.
Court starts at 9am and we may be called early or we may not be called until later in the morning or afternoon. You can bet that I will post as soon as we get home. Thank you for your prayers.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Okay, internets, It’s time to pray.
I got an email from Granny last night and her son (BF) had called her. He said that they (indicating all of them, BM, BF, plus maternal grandparents) would be in court on Tuesday. We’ll see if they actually show up, but it does make my stomach hurt a little bit.
I guess I’m a little afraid of a confrontation and on top of that, I just don’t want to face them. I can’t imagine someone taking Speedy and Princess away from me right now and regardless of anything else going on with them, it has to be more difficult than we could imagine. I don’t want to see that look on their faces.
When I read the email I immediately got knots in my stomach and started to worry about whether or not this will change anything. Then I heard that still small voice in my heart telling me that circumstances may change but God never does. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is still in control of this situation and we will trust Him with the outcome. As much as we want termination to happen tomorrow, it is His will, not ours, that we seek.
And who knows? Maybe it will really be a good thing if they do show up. Then they will have to answer for where they’ve been the last 12 weeks and why they haven’t even started any of their services. Showing up at this point may actually do more harm for their case than good.
Court starts at 9am and we may be called early or we may not be called until later in the morning or afternoon. You can bet that I will post as soon as we get home. Thank you for your prayers.
Filed under: Uncategorized
What? Not only can bloggers make money by posting about specific topics, there is a whole blog dedicated about how to advertise on blogs. Well, it’s about the company and the people who advertise on blogs anyway. I mean, really, who would do such a thing? Just to make a lousy ten, I mean twenty, no thirty, um, ya, make that FORTY BUCKS! It’s a crazy, crazy world we live in. Yet here I am. 
Filed under: Uncategorized
With Speedy’s recent obsession with putting things in his nose and ears we knew it was only a matter of time before we ended up in the emergency room.
Interestingly enough, it wasn’t Speedy, but Princess, who had us rushing off to the ER this afternoon. Before you get all worried, everyone is fine. It’s just that her regular doctor was out of town and the doctor covering for him does not take medicaid. I was happy to pay cash for a visit when I took her temperature today and it was 102.3! But the nurse told me that I’d be better off going to the ER because that doctor hadn’t been accepting all of my doctor’s patients anyway. (believe me, there is another post coming on that one)
So, after finding a clinic in a very scary part of town that would take her, we opted to go to the nice hospital where she was born. So I load up two kids and the double stroller and off to ER we go. It was amazing to me how quickly we were seen and how wonderful everyone was. Although we were there for a few hours, most of the waiting was on lab results and stuff like that.
Daddy-o met me there and took Speedy home while Princess and I hung out with the wonderful ER staff who couldn’t seem to get enough of her. By the time we got there, her temperature was 103.2 but they started stuffing Ibuprofen down her throat and got it under control. They did chest xrays (because of a nasty cough) and they had to put her in this awful device that looked like it came out of a torture chamber. It’s hard to describe but it was kinda like a clear plastic tube that had an opening for her face – she was seating on a bicycle type seat and the tube was around her and her arms were over her head. If you’re thinking she didn’t like it – that would be an understatement! 
It reminded me of baby Jessica – that girl who fell down a well a long time ago?
They also did blood work and checked her urine – both which had to be extracted, that was a lot of fun, too. She wailed like I’ve never heard her wail before but as soon as I picked her up she’d start smiling again. Even with fever at 103 she never got fussy unless they were sticking her somewhere.
Turns out, the doctor thinks it’s just a viral thing but gave her an antibiotic anyway because her white blood cell count was high. I’m sure you aren’t interested in all these gory details but I have to document it. Her first fever ever and she has to go ALL OUT and get me all worried. And we have to go back again tomorrow so they can recheck her blood count. Bleh. Poor baby. But she was so sweet through it all.
Eight months old today and she now weighs 17.3 pounds. That’s quite a change from the 5 pounds she weighed when we brought her home!
I can’t believe that in four days we go back to court. For the most part, it could all be over in four days. It hardly seems like it has been 8 months since we got Speedy and Princess. Can you believe she is 8 months old today?
Princess has changed so much and continues to do so. She’s crawling, though not at full speed yet. She is almost able to move herself from a crawling position to a sitting a position and she has mastered the art of feeding herself little star puffs.
She’s still the happiest baby I’ve ever known and almost always has a smile on her face. She’s going to be a year old before I know it and I’m not too sure how I feel about that. Why does time move so quickly when you have children?
Through each step of this path God has been faithful. He gave us our hearts’ desire by bringing Speedy and Princess to us in His perfect time. He opened the door for us to have a relationship with their biological grandparents and that is a gift we will pass on to them. God gave us enough time to have visits with the birthfamily so that we could get photos of both kids with their birthparents. He put us on a fast track when many “in the system” told us that fast tracks aren’t very common.
And He is going to bring us through this next court date as well. I believe He will provide termination of parental rights so that Speedy and Princess can become legally ours before the year is over – but it is His will we are seeking, not our own. A long time ago God put a verse on my heart that has carried us through the last few years…..come on, say it with me now, I know you know it: Jeremiah 29:11 “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”
That verse doesn’t just apply to Daddy-O and I, it applies to Speedy and Princess, too. He has a plan for them and I believe we are a big part of that plan. God wants good things for them just as much as He wants good things for us and He is going to deliver!
Yesterday, my heart was consumed with fear. One phone call from the caseworker and the hairs on my neck were standing up and I was a mama bear protecting her cubs. It’s only natural. Today, I was reminded again that God is in control. There is no reason for me to worry, no reason for me to fear. 2 Tim 1:7 says: 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear , but of power and of love and of a sound mind. He also says in 1 John 4:18-19, 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear , because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.19 We love Him because He first loved us.
There is a little book of daily devotions that I try to read every day but it ends up being every few days. Today’s devotion was about claiming God’s truths in our lives and in the lives of our children. It was about being bold and saying what believe God is telling us about situations in our lives…..and believing that He is going to do what He says He will do.
I believe God. His will, nothing more, nothing less and nothing else.
It’s only through His perfect love that I can recognize the need in my own heart to forgive Princess and Speedy’s birthparents. To forgive them for what has and has not been done and to forgive them for not thinking first of the kids. God does not call me to punish them or to blame them; He calls me to love them. And He will give me enough of His Grace to do just that.
Filed under: Uncategorized
It’s been a while since I have shared my addictions with you so for all of you who are bored, check this out. You can waste a lot of time learning to fly a helicopter. Don’t say I didn’t warn you about how much time you would spend here. I’m embarassed to admit how much I’ve spent.
In other news, I am amazed at how easy it can be to make money while blogging. Back when I was on blogger, I tried to use Adsense to earn pennies for every click but I never made any money. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I am blogging for money, it’s just nice to be able to support my Ebay habit! With Adsense, a blogger would get paid every time a reader clicked on a certain link – the nice thing about payperpost is that you get paid based on writing the post, not on clicking. It’s a crazy world we live in – I’ve already made $20 and that was only based on two posts.
Filed under: bio family
….the BM calls the caseworker and wants to schedule a visit for this Friday.
Rewind to Friday night:
I get a call from Granny J (paternal grandma for those of you just tuning in) and she tells me that she just got a call from Granny Crack. (maternal grandma) GC was wanting our phone number and / or address but Granny J said she didn’t have it. GC also wanted to know if daddy-o and I would be the ones to adopt Speedy and Princess and again Granny J simply acted like she didn’t know. GC then told her that BM would be calling Monday (today) to schedule a visit for this week.
Now, I’m sure that what brought this on was that on Friday they all received the photos that Granny J sent to her son, BF. I’m not thrilled that the photos were sent, but there isn’t much I can do about that at this point. Anyway, I’m sure seeing the pictures pulled on some heart strings.
So today, I get a call from the caseworker. She says that BM called and set up a visit for Friday morning. “Oh no,” I said. “That’s too bad. We’re not available for a visit Friday morning.” The caseworker knew what I was up to but she played along. She was a little concerned because she won’t be able to call and let them know that we can’t make the visit since they didn’t give her a contact number. So chances are they will show up and then find out they won’t be seeing the kids that day.
I’m looking for the place in my heart that I know should care about that but so far I haven’t been able to find it. I know there are case workers everywhere shaking their heads at the thought of me not cooperating and arguing that these are technically still “their kids”. I say no. These are OUR kids now.
I cooperated fully until they stopped showing up. You can’t just drop in and out of a child’s life that way. At least not my child. Besides, what’s another week? I realize that they need to have at least one more visit so they can say goodbye, though I dread that. And they will be offered that by the state once termination has been completed. So my whole point is, they have waited ELEVEN WEEKS, one more isn’t going to kill them.
We go to court next week and I’m hoping the judge will order termination. And if he does that means Speedy will have to endure only one more visit instead of two. Does that really make a difference? It does to me and I think it will to Speedy. It’s got to be confusing for him.
I’m praying for God’s perfect will and I’m praying for Grace to accept whatever His will may be.
Filed under: bio family
This is a conversation Speedy and I had after church yesterday:
Me: Speedy, did you have fun in Sunday School?
Speedy: Yeah
Me: What did you do?
Speedy: Pway wit fwiends
Me: Did you hear a story?
Speedy: Yeah
Me: What was your story about?
Speedy: Sheper
Me: A Shepherd?
Speedy: Yeah, Sheper
Me: What does a Shepherd do?
Speedy: dwives a trash twuck!
Hmmm, I haven’t heard that Bible story before!
Our court date is one week from tomorrow. I’m probably a little more anxious about this one than any of the others – we are trusting God to do His thing. Yesterday morning in church I was reminded that God is always there. For some of you, that may sound pretty basic but I needed the reminder.
You see, now that I have two little ones to chase, my God time is more limited than I would like it to be. When I have time for myself I am usually too tired to do much of anything – combine that with my ability to procrastinate and you can see the problem. When things are up in the air I cling to God like a drowing man would cling to a life raft. But when things are going smoothly it is harder for me to cling.
I needed to be reminded that God NEVER lets go of us – in bad times or in good. A lot of people need that reminder in bad times but I need it more in the good. “Oh No, You never let go…through the calm and through the storm….” It’s an awesome song.
And I hear a little crying which means Princess is ready for her nap. Gotta go…..
Filed under: Day after day
Alright, finally something has stirred me enough to come out of my blogging rut. We went to a baseball game tonight and were sitting near the steps that go up to the nosebleeds. A girl walked by with quite possibly the shortest skirt I’ve ever seen. I said, “Daddy-O, check out that girl’s butt when she walks up the steps. I bet you’ll be able to see it.” I know, I’m terrible. BUT, in my defense, she obviously wanted people to see her butt.
As she went up the steps, more and more of her backside became visible. I stopped looking when I saw the cheeks but I never caught a glimpse of underwear so I’m assuming she went commando or was wearing a thong. By the time she was high enough to show us her goods, my eyes were popping out of my head and so everyone around us was looking up at her, too.
I can’t tell you old she was. I can’t tell you what her face looked like. All I could see was her bum. WHY? Someone, somewhere, pahhleease tell me WHY? Does she not have mirrors in her house? What in the world happened when she sat down, I wonder?
I know that there are lots of skirts out there that would reveal a person’s butt if they were walking up steep steps. But this skirt had me doing a double take before she even begin her ascent.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
There are lots of things you can’t control that could be really embarassing. Pants coming unzipped, back of your skirt getting stuck in your panty hose and revealing your butt, button undone and showing your top off, and the list goes on. But come on, you can control whether or not your butt hangs out of your skirt.
LAdies, showing your butt is not attractive. It’s not sexy. It’s gross. Please, cover it up.
