Filed under: bio family
I have no title for this post.
I feel a little sick, but mostly I feel angry.
BF called his mom today and it was the first time she’s heard from him in almost a month. He knows she is contact with me and sees the kids. Did he ask how the kids were? No.
He wanted money. That’s why he called.
When asked why he hadn’t shown up for visits, his response was that he has no money and no car and no way to get there. He had no response when asked why he hadn’t even called to ask about the kids.
He just sucks. And so does BM.
He said that when the kids were first taken into custody he didn’t think they would ever get them back.
The address CPS has for them is not their most recent address. So they won’t receive notice of the trial. I’m not sure how that will affect the outcome, it could put things off a bit. I’m not worried, though. I forwarded the most recent address to the kids’ Ad Litem and also to the caseworker. That’s all I can do for now.
It’s hard to be sad, even though I know there is an addiction that is driving everything BF and BM says and does. Today I’m not sad at all for them. I’m just angry.
Speedy was looking at a picture of his BF yesterday and said, “go see him?” My heart shattered. Not because I want him to forget but because I don’t think he’ll get another chance to see him. And I think maybe he really needs to.
Angry.
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Awwwww, poor Speedy must be so confused. I know that must have broken your heart to hear him ask about BF. As much as it doesn’t really seem right, I think if ties with birth parents are just cut off, he’ll have a better time adjusting. He’s still soooo young, he’ll forget eventually about these visits and what they were like. I know you don’t want him to forget and you’ll still have pictures and stories, but it’s probably best.
Comment by karen h August 1, 2006 @ 7:26 pmAngry is an okay emotion to have. It is okay to be angry. I am, too, after reading your post. But, there’s nothing that any of us can do for them that isn’t already being done. THEY are responsible for their own actions, whatever they may be.
(((HUGS))) to all of you, especially Speedy. Love those kiddos!
Comment by Judy August 1, 2006 @ 7:47 pmI agree with you Cindy, that the kids need at least one last visit. Sure, they may never remember, but you will, and you can tell the kids all about it.
Comment by Brittney August 2, 2006 @ 9:54 amRejection is something that I pray these kids don’t struggle with, and having one last visit would really mean a lot. Instead of having to be like “BF was messed up on drugs and never could make it again to see you”, you get to say “I could see in his eyes that BF’s heart was breaking and that leaving you was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
However, I think that the threat of TPR is a little distant for BF right now in his haze. But come the reality of TPR and I think he will be able to be there one last time-at least we will be standing in the gap praying for that with ya’ll. We love you!
There is nothing good about that situation. How sad for Speedy, because he remembers BF.
Comment by Karen August 2, 2006 @ 10:33 amI understand that anger. I am so thankful to God for allowing you to know and forward on their most recent address. Based on our experiences with delays due to them being unable to locate Cookie’s BM, I sure am glad for you that you now have an address. I am so sorry that Speedy – even having so many folks who love and want him – knows that there is a father out there who isn’t trying to see him. Awful – just awful. I am angry with them too. Why can’t these people just do the right thing for ONCE and sign away their rights? I just can’t help but wonder all the time.
Comment by Tamara August 2, 2006 @ 11:49 amI first read your blog (cover to cover, btw) a few months ago while we were at the beginning of our foster/adopt process. Of course, I didn’t remember to bookmark you. I’m so glad I found you again. Thank you for sharing.
Comment by Maerlowe August 3, 2006 @ 11:57 pm