My Ebenezer

As I sit here surfing the internet with Princess strapped to my chest and her pacifier in my mouth (the handle only), I realize that my life has officially changed. Not that I didn’t realize it before, I think I keep having these realizations. Like today on the toilet.

I guess you realize when you have kids that is just isn’t about you anymore. Maybe it never was.

I can’t remember if I blogged about this or not and I’m too lazy to look it up so here goes. People keep asking about SPeedy and Princess and about their history and birthfamilies. Everyone wants to know what the situation is and whether or not we’ll get to keep them forever. The honest answer is we just don’t know. We know a little about their history but we aren’t sharing that everyone. It’s their story to tell when and if they choose. We are sure we’ll get to keep them forever. We think we will. The chances are good that we will. But we aren’t sure.

We are praying for God’s perfect will. We are trusting Jeremiah 29:11, where we are told, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’” God has brought us a long way on this journey – He is not going to leave us now. His faithfulness has been so incredibly evident every step of the way. We don’t know what is going to happen next month. But we trust that God has it all in the palm of His mighty hand.

There is a court hearing at the end of March that will determine a lot. We’ll know more then and we’ll share what we can. Most of all, we hope you will join us in praying for what is best for these kids. It would be so easy for me to ask you to beg God on our behalf to let us keep these babies. I’ve done so many times already myself. We want them like we’ve never before wanted anything. But it’s not about us, it’s about them and it’s about Him. We are praying for what is best for these children. We are also praying for their birthparents. Whatever happens, God will give us what we need to get through it.

We believe these kids are our forever kids. I feel it in my bones. I pray I’m right about that. We are loving them as though they have always been ours.

Another thing people ask about is visits with the birthmother/father. When children are in foster care, they typically get weekly or every other week supervised visits with birthparents. So far, we haven’t heard anything about visits but we do expect them to happen. The selfish part of me wants to hope that they don’t happen, but again, it isn’t about me anymore. I do hope they have at least one visit and I hope I have the opportunity to meet their birthmom. I want to be able to tell them one day what color her eyes are or that they have her smile.

I’d love to get a picture of her with them. One day they will want to know and I want to have answers.