My Ebenezer

There aren’t details we can share from today’s meeting – just that it continues to “look good” for us. Everything was fine. Thank you for your prayers.

I’m considering taking this site offline for a while. For privacy reasons, I just want to make sure we aren’t “found” by the birthfamily in this situation. Anyway, one thing I may do is create another site that will be password protected – I know that is a pain, but if you want the address and password, email me and I’ll be sure to get it to you. I’m probably being a bit overprotective, but I want my kids safe. I stupidly said something about a blog where they could overhear me and I have no idea if they are computer literate, but it’s just not a risk I’m willing to take. So, ya, I’m going to move to a password protected site. Let me know if you want to come along!

Yesterday I took Speedy to church with me. I had no idea how he would do in Sunday School (the nursery) but I carried him to the door and he could see all the kids and toys inside. When I put him down to fill out paperwork, he was trying to open the door and get in. He walked right in and never looked back. I was glad he wasn’t upset, but I have to admit I was also a little disappointed that it didn’t seem like he would miss me at all!

When I went to pick him up, he was standing near the door and watching it intensely. When he saw me, he ran to me with his arms up! So much for not missing me. I almost cried right there in the hallway and I’m sure people would have thought I’m nuts. Afterall, he IS almost two, they must think that surely I’ve left him in the nursery before. If only they knew.

Anyway, the worker said that he did fine but after about 10 minutes of playing he suddenly realized that I wasn’t there and started asking for mommy. But he didn’t get upset and cry so I’m glad for that. Anyway, he’s so stinkin’ cute!

I love giving Princess her baths and she enjoys them too! It’s probably not wise for me to strip her down at the changing table and then carry her bare bottom all the way to the kitchen where her bath chair is, but her little bum is so adorable! And she wouldn’t dare pee on me. Or worse. Or would she?

She has peed while I was giving her a bath before but that wasn’t such a big deal. Today, I finished her bath and wrapped her up in a cute hooded towel. She’s always so happy at this point and looks so darn cute! I was cuddling her to me when all of the sudden my hand (the one that was under her bum) got really warm. I pulled her away from me to realize she’d just peed all over my hand and shirt. Thankfully, there was nothing else coming out of her. She had the sweetest, most innocent look on her face the whole time. But I think she secretly did it on purpose since I had woken her up from a nap.

Speedy cracks me up with his “peas” (please) and “tank-you”’s. He was supposed to be laying down for a nap but after 30 minutes I could still hear him talking and playing in his crib. I opened his door and said in a very stern voice, “Speedy, lay down – it’s time to go night-night, no more standing up. Lay down and close your eyes and go to sleep!” He layed down, covered up and looked at me with the sweetest little eyes and said, “tank you”. I closed the door before I cracked up laughing.

Thank you for praying faithfully for us yesterday as we went to our first visit. I know God was with us and after a little initial nervousness, I was completely relaxed. We got to meet birthmom and birthdad, maternal grandmother and paternal grandparents. All went very well.

For privacy reasons, I can’t really say much about the visit or the people involved. I will tell you that we feel even better at our chances for adoption based on this visit. The best news is that I got pictures of everyone so I will have them for the kids.

The next big step is a meeting on Tuesday that will give us even more of an idea as to what will happen. So, if I could continue to beg for your prayers, please pray for the meeting this Tuesday at 1pm. Pray for everyone involved – that we will all seek what is best for these precious babies. We are a little apprehensive about this meeting – right now the birthfamily doesn’t seem to realize the severity of this situation but I believe that will be made clear at this meeting.

I’ll keep you posted as much as I can. Just know that Speedy and Princess are fine – there was really no response at all to the visit from them. Speedy continues to be his hilarious and fun-loving self and Princess is growing by the minute. I can’t wait until I can really share pictures of them – they are so beautiful! And so much fun!

I heard Brien talking to Princess last night: “Hi little Princess…..you know, mommy used to be the princess before you came along. Now she’s the Queen and you’re our little Princess.”

Also, when Brien came home from work on Thursday, I brought Speedy outside and I said, “go give daddy a big hug and a kiss”! He ran squealing to Brien and jumped up into his arms. I don’t know who was smiling more, Brien or Speedy.

Tomorrow we have our first visit with Speedy and Princess’ mother. We’re excited and nervous and mostly just curious. Pray that God will open our hearts to her and help us share His love by meeting her without judgement. Pray that Speedy will be okay with the visit. Pray that we focus on what is best for the kids and not on how we may be feeling.

We are praying for a positive relationship with their mother. There are so many things we are asking God for, it feels like we are asking for the impossible – for one miracle after another. In Matthew 19:26, Jesus says, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible .”NKJV We are claiming that truth as we seek what is best for Speedy and Princess.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

We’re trying to teach Speedy to say grace before he eats his meals. I’ll say, okay Speedy, it’s time to pray….let’s thank Jesus for our food before we eat. And he’ll put his hands together and say “pway”. He babbles a word or two as we go through the “God is good …. God is great” and then he knows right when to say “ahhh MEN” and he throws his little hands in the air. Sometimes half way through the meal, he stops and says again “pway” as he puts his hands together. It’s so sweet!

We’re also learning some songs. I always sing “Jesus Loves Me” to him as I rock him to sleep, but his favorite is definitely “Old McDonald had a Farm”. The only part he sings is “E I E I O” but it comes out as “EEEEE I EEE I EEIIIIIII OOOOOO”! When I was giving him a bath today, I was singing Jesus Loves Me and he was watching me intently. Instead of singing, “yes, Jesus loves me….” I always sing, “Speedy, Jesus loves you….” and when I took a breath he chimed in with “EEEEE I EEEE III EEEEIIIIII OOOO” I guess Old McDonald had Jesus on his farm, too!

Brien and I take turns with Princess – he takes a night then I take a night and so on and so forth. If it is my night to be up with her, then he’ll stay awake and feed her at 1opm before putting her back to sleep. Last night, I came in from bible study and he was in the lazy boy with Princess on his chest. I said, “hey, you’re supposed to be keeping her awake so she’ll sleep better tonight….” he swore she had “just fallen asleep”. Then we had this conversation:

Brien: This is the best sleep there is (as he’s holding her on his chest and resting his own eyes)
Me: It’s so sweet to watch you with her, you’ve never been very interested in little babies and she is so tiny in your big hands
Brien: I have to get all of this I can….it won’t be long before she won’t just lay her and snuggle on daddy’s chest anymore…
Me: Ya, that’s sweet, you should sleep like that all night so I can get some rest, she’ll never sleep good in the bassinet after leaving your chest
Brien: Where should I put her down now? The bed is in our room so I wouldn’t know where to put her down.
Me: You can put a blanket on the floor and lay her down there
Princess: Waaaaa Waaaaa grunt snort fusss fuss fuss
Brien: Oh baby girl, it’s okay. Daddy’s not really going to put you down.

Geez. She’s just a month old and already has daddy wrapped around her little finger! ha ha ha

As I sit here surfing the internet with Princess strapped to my chest and her pacifier in my mouth (the handle only), I realize that my life has officially changed. Not that I didn’t realize it before, I think I keep having these realizations. Like today on the toilet.

I guess you realize when you have kids that is just isn’t about you anymore. Maybe it never was.

I can’t remember if I blogged about this or not and I’m too lazy to look it up so here goes. People keep asking about SPeedy and Princess and about their history and birthfamilies. Everyone wants to know what the situation is and whether or not we’ll get to keep them forever. The honest answer is we just don’t know. We know a little about their history but we aren’t sharing that everyone. It’s their story to tell when and if they choose. We are sure we’ll get to keep them forever. We think we will. The chances are good that we will. But we aren’t sure.

We are praying for God’s perfect will. We are trusting Jeremiah 29:11, where we are told, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’” God has brought us a long way on this journey – He is not going to leave us now. His faithfulness has been so incredibly evident every step of the way. We don’t know what is going to happen next month. But we trust that God has it all in the palm of His mighty hand.

There is a court hearing at the end of March that will determine a lot. We’ll know more then and we’ll share what we can. Most of all, we hope you will join us in praying for what is best for these kids. It would be so easy for me to ask you to beg God on our behalf to let us keep these babies. I’ve done so many times already myself. We want them like we’ve never before wanted anything. But it’s not about us, it’s about them and it’s about Him. We are praying for what is best for these children. We are also praying for their birthparents. Whatever happens, God will give us what we need to get through it.

We believe these kids are our forever kids. I feel it in my bones. I pray I’m right about that. We are loving them as though they have always been ours.

Another thing people ask about is visits with the birthmother/father. When children are in foster care, they typically get weekly or every other week supervised visits with birthparents. So far, we haven’t heard anything about visits but we do expect them to happen. The selfish part of me wants to hope that they don’t happen, but again, it isn’t about me anymore. I do hope they have at least one visit and I hope I have the opportunity to meet their birthmom. I want to be able to tell them one day what color her eyes are or that they have her smile.

I’d love to get a picture of her with them. One day they will want to know and I want to have answers.

When you have a two year old and a newborn in the house, you no longer get any time to yourself – for ANYTHING. Since Speedy occasionally likes to “visit” his baby sister, we have to keep a close eye on where he is at all times.

This morning, Princess was sleeping and I had to go to the bathroom. Okay, I had to poop. So Speedy had to come with me. I locked the poor kid in the bathroom with me and he wanted to brush his teeth. So I figure this is a good distraction…..until he decided it was MY turn to brush his teeth. Brushing someone else’s teeth while you are pooping is not my idea of a good time. I tried distracting him and found the only thing that would work was singing, “The wheels on the bus go round and round…” all the while I’m pooping.

Life is never gonna be the same again, is it?

It’s a good thing Speedy is on the ball with all this parenting stuff. Tonight, Brien was taking him to our bedroom where we rock him for a little while before putting him down for bed. Speedy runs into the bathroom, gets on his little step stool and points to his toothbrush. “Teeth?” he says. Thanks for the reminder, Speedy. We know you need to brush your teeth and one day we’ll remember to remind you instead of the other way around!

Is there anything sweeter than hearing your husband sing to your child as he rocks him to sleep? My heart just bubbles over when I see Brien loving on Speedy. Brien has been just wonderful – more than just helping out, he’s doing half the work when he isn’t at work. We take turns putting Speedy to bed each night, mostly because we both WANT to do it and it’s our way of sharing. We also take turns getting up with Princess. Tonight is his night – WOO HOO!

I’m just amazed at how much both Speedy and Princess have grown already. I swear they get bigger every day. I wish I could post a picture of them both for everyone to see, but I’ll have to wait on that.

Thanks so much for all of your kind words and prayers and encouragement. I haven’t had much time to peruse blogs but I will catch up soon!

Baby Einstein is my new hero. Praise God! I have gotten Speedy to watch it but he calls it “wow”. I was watching it and trying to get his attention so I kept saying, “WOW” and then he came in the den and looked at it and said, “Woooow”. Now when he eats breakfast, i put his highchair in front of the tv. We also watch it before bedtime. I only have one of the dvds but I plan to buy them all. Thank you, Jesus, for Baby Einstein!

I know there are people who would say I shouldn’t “teach” him to watch TV that it’s better if he doesn’t blah blah blah blah blah. Frankly, I don’t give a hoot! Mommy needs a break sometimes!

Wow. Tired doesn’t begin to describe what I’m feeling tonight. THankfully, Brien is going to get up with Princess tonight so I can get a full night’s rest. Speedy didn’t get all of his nap today and I paid for it around dinner time. Poor kid. He’s so sweet but so interested in everything he’s not supposed to touch. How long does this last? ha ha ha

When he was supposed to be napping today, I heard the distinct sound of jumping on his crib mattress. Thanks to Aunt Tina, Speedy recently learned how much fun it is to jump on a bed. Now he’s decided naptime is a good time to try this new skill. Paybacks are a *%$##! So thanks, Tina. I REALLY appreciate that.

This morning I had Princess in her pink car seat and walked to the other room to get my vitamins. When I came out, Speedy had her pacifier and was trying to put it in her mouth. It was really sweet – he was being very gentle with her and rubbing it on her lips the way I do when she is fussy but won’t open her mouth. I wish I had a camera in my hand so I could have captured the moment. Just as I was thinking how sweet he was, I saw him moving the pacifier to his own mouth. Guess he figured if she didn’t want it, he’d take it!

By the way, if I had to choose another nickname for Speedy, it would definitely be Hungry Hippo. The kid wants to eat non-stop. He wakes up saying, “eat? eat?” and trying to climb into his high chair. Mid-morning we have a snack and trust me he won’t let me forget about it. “nacky? nacky? ookie? nacky?” We had to put a child lock on the pantry because he kept pulling things out of there. He usually eats really good at lunch and at dinner and also has an afternoon snack. It amazes me how much that kid can eat.

It’s amazing how quickly life has changed in our home. It was just a few weeks ago when I was feeling like this wasn’t EVER going to happen. I mean, I knew God had a plan and I trusted that plan but it just felt like it was taking forever. These kids are worth waiting forever for.

Some kids from church came over today to hang a swing in the front yard for Speedy. I’m so overwhelmed by the love that our friends are pouring out onto our family these days. And Speedy LOVES his swing. I wish I could post a picture of his beautiful smile – it lights up the whole room.

Here are some pictures I can share with you. The first is Speedy helping Grammie wash her hair! I tried to keep him away but he LOVES the water and really thought he should help.

The next one is tiny toes. My little princess even has adorable hands and feet! They are growing so fast, too! I can’t believe how much bigger they are than when we first brought her home.

Finally, the little hands.

It’s just so surreal. We are parents. It is exhausting but so rewarding. People keep asking me how hard it is to take on a newborn and a two year old at the same time. Most people have two years to get to know a child and are used to having a two year old when they bring home a new baby. We got both at once. So, while we are adjusting to Speedy and meeting his needs, we are also caring for a newborn who doesn’t like to sleep between feedings at night. Is it hard?

Well, that’s a dumb question. Ofcourse it is! As we parent Speedy, we also get immediate rewards like hugs and “I of ouuuuu” and “mammmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….” and “da eeeee”. Most people have to wait months for these types of reward but we get right away. His smile melts my heart.

And she is so tiny yet so determined. She already has a will of her own.

I got to make heart shaped pancakes for my boy this morning! I doubt he even realized they were in the shape of a heart, but I knew and it was awsome! Speedy also got a card and a stuffed puppy with a heart on it. He LOVES puppies so this was a real treat that captivated him for at least 10 seconds!

Princess is growing stronger every day. She’s gained weight and the pediatrician gave her a clean bill of health. They are both just so precious!

Did I mention I made heart shaped pancakes?

It’s just amazing to me that something so tiny and delicate can produce something so foul-smelling! Yesterday, Princess had a poopy diaper and I tried to get Brien to change it. He said he wanted to watch me do one first as he had not yet had this privelege. I asked him to put a clean one on her while I threw the other one away. All of sudden, I heard Brien kinda yell and laugh at the same time and I looked back and he was backing away from the changing table. Princess was still pooping. Not a pretty sight, even from her perfect little tushy. We both laughed and were trying to keep her clean and finish changing her diaper. We went through three before it was all over. And I about had to change my pants, too, from laughin so hard.

I am more exhausted than I can ever remember being. But I’m also happier than I can ever remember being. Little Princess is growing and gaining weight quickly. Speedy is cracking us up with his dancing and the things that come out of his mouth. I’ve been trying to teach him that when I say, “Speedy, who loves you?” to say “Mommy does!”. Today, I asked him, “Speedy, who loves you?” to which he replied, “Da-eeeee does!”

There are so many fun things I’d like to tell you about but I just don’t have the time. I’ve got to sleep while I can. I’ll try to post some pictures of hands and feet later this week.

Our friends have been feeding us every night and I’m terrified we’ll all go hungry when that stops. We have wonderful friends and family who have all taken to these babies and been loving on them all week long. Please continue to pray for us as one day soon Brien and I will attempt to do this on our own, without the help of my mom who has been a God send this week. Not to worry, though, Brien’s mom has her bags packed and is ready to come as soon as we give her the green light. So maybe we have a few more days before we become independant! ha ha ha

Wow, newborns really don’t like to sleep through the night. When people say that, they aren’t kidding! ha ha ha

We had a rough first night with Grammie coming to the rescue at 4am. I think that was the first realy sleep we got all night. Every time Princess squeaked we sat up in bed. Guess we’ll have to get used to it.

Speedy is mostly uninterested in Princess but loves all the attention he is getting from our frequent visitors. We’re so tired but so eager to show off our babies, it’s fun to have the people we love meet the children who have stolen our hearts.

It is a little after 8pm and I’m getting ready for bed. Brien is taking the first shift tonight and I”m sleeping in the guest bedroom – what are the chances that he’ll “forget” to wake me up for my turn? ha ha Quite a change from my usually midnight bedtime.

Brien rocked Speedy before bedtime tonight and after he put him down Brien came in to help me give Princess her first bath. He said, “That little boy almost made me cry.” I asked why and Brien said because when he was rocking Speedy, Speedy said, “I uv you”. Without any prodding from Brien. He is so stinkin’ cute!

We gave Princess her bath and she didn’t even fuss. Today she has been eating every four hours and sleeping well between feedings. Here’s hoping this continues through the night.

I’ll update more when I can, my brain is only functioning at 50% right now. WE are so in love with these kids. God is so good. Trust Him in everything. and wait on Him – I promise it will be worth it.

We have the best friends and family ever. Everyone has been so incredibly supportive and we love you all so much!

Lots of people are very curious about Speedy’s background and why he is in care. They are equally curious about Princess and her story. We completely understand your curiosity and will tell you what we can. But this is not our story to share and we want to respect the privacy of our babies.

Another thing that people keep asking about is how long before we know if they will be ours forever. That’s a tough question to answer because we aren’t sure ourselves. We are looking at this as though they are our forever children and if that doesn’t end up being the case, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. God has brought us a long way and He will give us what we need to make it through the next step. Afterall, Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”

God knows what He is doing. I believe these are our forever kids. I’m praying that. I’m praying every night that God allows us to keep them. I’m also praying for their birthfamily and their caseworkers…..for everyone involved that we all see what is best for the children. I’m praying more than anything else that God’s will is done. Am I a little nervous? Sure. But I am walking by faith. God is so good.

Oh yeah, one more thing, with Princess coming home tomorrow, I don’t know how much time I’ll have to post. ha ha ha I’m going to try to get some pictures of their hands and feet to post here. I won’t post any pics of their faces until the adoption is finalized. I’ll check back in when I can.

If only I could video Speedy’s happy dance and play it here for you. You’d laugh for days. When he gets really excited, he grins from ear to ear and squeals while flails his arms about and marches quickly in place. The whole time he’s doing this, he’s kinda shaking his body from side to side. It’s freakin’ hilarious.

I’ve had lots of help and I don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s so hard to leave Speedy here but I also feel bad not being at the hospital.

I have to admit, after trying unsuccessfully to get the little Princess to eat yesterday, I was beginning to wonder if I’d be able to do it. In fact, I was pretty sure I couldn’t. I felt so incompetent to care for her but today was much better. They started stretching her feedings out to every four hours and now she is much more alert and ready to eat when it’s time. She took the whole bottle with little problems tonight – woohoo!

Tomorrow, Brien and I will do what’s called a “room in”. We’ll go the hospital early in the morning and they will put us in a “labor and delivery” room with our Princess. We’ll care for her all morning and part of the afternoon before they release her. I’m so excited we get to have this time with her and we get to benefit from having the nurses who have been caring for her for the last three weeks nearby.

This weekend will be very busy but it will also be so much fun. I can’t wait to introduce Speedy and Princess. It ought to be interesting! I wish I could tell you all the funny things Speedy does in a day but there isn’t enough space in blogland. His voice makes my heart smile. His laugh brings tears to my eyes. Our son is finally home. Thank you God, for Speedy. He was worth every tear, every disappointment and every heartache. I’d do it all again three-fold, just for the chance to be his mommy. He truly is our “gift from God”.

So this morning I thought we’d try to get Speedy to watch Veggie Tales. I don’t think he quite gets it yet.

I’ve been reading through the Psalms trying to find a passage of scripture to help capture the joy in my heart. This is what I came up with so far:

Ps 108:1-5
My heart is confident in you, O God;no wonder I can sing your praises!Wake up, my soul! 2 Wake up, O harp and lyre!I will waken the dawn with my song. 3 I will thank you, LORD, in front of all the people.I will sing your praises among the nations. 4 For your unfailing love is higher than the heavens.Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. 5 Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.May your glory shine over all the earth.NLT

In all of this excitment, I just want to stand before my Father and offer my praise to Him. I want to teach Speedy all about God’s great love. I need some help with that – any ideas on books or activities for a 2 year old that can be used to teach him about God?

Things we’ve learned since having a two year old:

• Things are the counter are not safe – where there is a will, there is a way
• Two year olds are smarter than we think they are
• This is one Brien learned last night the first time he bathed Speedy: If a two year old is in awe of your cell phone, you should not have it on you when you bathe said two year old. His name is Speedy afterall.
• When a two year old wants to feed a baby a bottle, don’t step back to take a picture – no matter how cute it is. Two year olds like to share. (Thanks for sharing your bottle, Barrett!)

When Brien was rocking Speedy to sleep tonight, I was calling my mom on the phone. He heard me talking and he yelled, “Momee?……MoMeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Momeeeeee? Pease? Mommeeee?” He’s said mommy before, but tonight I knew he was talking about me. He wanted me to rock him. Okay, that isn’t entirely true. What he wanted was for me to come and get him from Daddy so he wouldn’t have to go to sleep.

Brien let me rock him and he was leaving the room and Speedy turned to look at him and kinda fussed. I asked if he wanted Daddy to stay and he said, “yeah”. So Brien sat on the floor and I rocked and Speedy talked…..and talked…..and talked…until finally I said okay it is bedtime. We put him down and I sat on the floor next to his crib until he settled down. Then I lied and said I’d “be right back” and left. And didn’t go back. But he didn’t protest.

Today was FABULOUS! I spent the morning with Speedy and we ventured out to Target to get some age appropriate toys. Although we have tons of toys, many of them are a little old for him so I got him this music thing that he loves and I also got him a cell phone. He has been fascinated with my cell phone and with Brien’s (more to come on that) and he always wants to play with them. So I bought him a play one and he talked on it all the way home.

I also got him a “Big Wheels” today because he LOVES to be outside and we didn’t have anything for him to ride. He will be SO EXCITED to play with it tomorrow – i’m going to have to hide it until I’m ready to go outside. He’s such a good kid. He has no fear and hasn’t cried yet when he’s fallen down or when I take something away from him. He’s even sat in time out – twice – and it was obvious he knew what it was.

This is the child that has been growing in my heart since we decided to adopt. He is one of the ones I’ve been praying for. I know he’s been through a lot in his two short years, but I also know that he has been loved. I’ve prayed many times that my children were safe and that someone was loving on them and I can tell that he’s been loved by someone.

Tonight, while I was holding my little Princess at the hospital, these lyrics came into my head:

“How great is our God? Sing with me…How Great is our God?….All will see How Great….How Great…..is our God”

Wait on God, friends. It’s always worth it.

A PS for everyone who has asked if they can help…..Yes, yes yes yes yes and please and yes again. And thanks from the bottom of our hearts. And come see us. We’re DYING for you to meet our son and our daughter. Friday she should be coming home so come see before or after then.

My cup is overflowing and I don’t know where to begin to describe how wonderful it is. Yesterday was a hard day, mostly because I was running on 2 hours of sleep. 2 hours of sleep plus a VERY active two year old equals a very long day. Thankfully, I had lots of help. It’s hard to not know what he is used to. I’ve finally decided on a nick name for him, it’s Speedy Gonzalez.

So Speedy has a laugh that melts my heart. I was on the verge of tears all day yesterday and I thought it was mainly exhaustion, but as I’m trying to think of words to tell you how much I love him, my eyes are welling up. Our first day as mother and child was a hectic one, with people coming and going all day. But it was great! I’m so eager to show him off to everyone. Speedy never runs out of energy – I seriously think that when he is tired he just takes off running to keep himself awake. When he gets all excited he does this little dance where his arms flail around and he looks like he is marching in fast forward.

People keep asking me how I’m feeling. It just feels right. It feels like our son has finally come home and our daughter is on her way. His laugh is infectious and she has all the nurses wanting to take her home. Last night, we left my mom with Speedy so we could go to the hospital and visit The Princess. She is the tiniest thing you’ve ever seen. I expected to be fine with leaving Speedy here with my mom but I almost cried when we got in the car to leave. I knew he would be fine but it broke my heart that I wouldn’t be able to put him to sleep on his second night here. I don’t think it phased him one bit……but I think maybe that was part of my sadness, too. He’s used to being passed around.

Sometime today, I need to get back up to the hospital to see The Princess. I’ll leave Speedy with Daddy-O’s mom and I’m hoping to do that around nap time (actually, i’m just hoping nap time exists today….) but I need to be there for a feeding. She is precious. It’s hard to split my time between them and I’ll be glad when we get her home. Right now, I know she is being well cared for at the hospital and I really want to focus on Speedy. Afterall, we need to try to somehow prepare him for the upcoming arrival of his baby sister.

Our neighbor has a swing in her front yard and Speedy thinks it is the best thing since sliced bread. We’ve already figured out where we’re going to hang one in our front yard but we just have to figure out when! We’ve also discovered that he loves to ride little bike/trike things. I’m not sure if he knows how to pedal a tricycle or not but something tells me he’d figure it out.

Funny moment yesterday. When Speedy was eating dinner, my mom (Grammie) had his food on his tray. We’ve been letting him feed himself with is hands and I was wondering how we’d teach him to use a spoon/fork. We don’t have to. He took the spoon and fed himself the rest of his peas. Guess he’s been wondering why we don’t let him use utensils. ha ha ha

Yesterday morning, Daddy-O called about 8:30am. This was our conversation:

Daddy-O: what are ya’ll doing?
Me: Speedy just woke up, i had to wake him up actually.
Daddy-O: ok ok, sorry I was hoping I didn’t wake him. I waited as long as I could but I just couldn’t wait anymore. I was dying to know what he was doing.
Me: He’s standing on the couch (something we swore our kids would never do) watching the dogs outside and I’m encouraging it. ha

Thanks to all of you for your comments, emails and phone calls. We’ll return them all one day.

My cup is overflowing and I don’t know where to begin to describe how wonderful it is. Yesterday was a hard day, mostly because I was running on 2 hours of sleep. 2 hours of sleep plus a VERY active two year old equals a very long day. Thankfully, I had lots of help. It’s hard to not know what he is used to. I’ve finally decided on a nick name for him, it’s Speedy Gonzalez.

So Speedy has a laugh that melts my heart. I was on the verge of tears all day yesterday and I thought it was mainly exhaustion, but as I’m trying to think of words to tell you how much I love him, my eyes are welling up. Our first day as mother and child was a hectic one, with people coming and going all day. But it was great! I’m so eager to show him off to everyone. Speedy never runs out of energy – I seriously think that when he is tired he just takes off running to keep himself awake. When he gets all excited he does this little dance where his arms flail around and he looks like he is marching in fast forward.

People keep asking me how I’m feeling. It just feels right. It feels like our son has finally come home and our daughter is on her way. His laugh is infectious and she has all the nurses wanting to take her home. Last night, we left my mom with Speedy so we could go to the hospital and visit The Princess. She is the tiniest thing you’ve ever seen. I expected to be fine with leaving Speedy here with my mom but I almost cried when we got in the car to leave. I knew he would be fine but it broke my heart that I wouldn’t be able to put him to sleep on his second night here. I don’t think it phased him one bit……but I think maybe that was part of my sadness, too. He’s used to being passed around.

Sometime today, I need to get back up to the hospital to see The Princess. I’ll leave Speedy with Brien’s mom and I’m hoping to do that around nap time (actually, i’m just hoping nap time exists today….) but I need to be there for a feeding. She is precious. It’s hard to split my time between them and I’ll be glad when we get her home. Right now, I know she is being well cared for at the hospital and I really want to focus on Speedy. Afterall, we need to try to somehow prepare him for the upcoming arrival of his baby sister.

Our neighbor has a swing in her front yard and Speedy thinks it is the best thing since sliced bread. We’ve already figured out where we’re going to hang one in our front yard but we just have to figure out when! We’ve also discovered that he loves to ride little bike/trike things. I’m not sure if he knows how to pedal a tricycle or not but something tells me he’d figure it out.

Funny moment yesterday. When Speedy was eating dinner, my mom (Grammie) had his food on his tray. We’ve been letting him feed himself with is hands and I was wondering how we’d teach him to use a spoon/fork. We don’t have to. He took the spoon and fed himself the rest of his peas. Guess he’s been wondering why we don’t let him use utensils. ha ha ha

Yesterday morning, Brien called about 8:30am. This was our conversation:

Brien: what are ya’ll doing?
Me: Speedy just woke up, i had to wake him up actually.
Brien: ok ok, sorry I was hoping I didn’t wake him. I waited as long as I could but I just couldn’t wait anymore. I was dying to know what he was doing.
Me: He’s standing on the couch (something we swore our kids would never do) watching the dogs outside and I’m encouraging it. ha

Thanks to all of you for your comments, emails and phone calls. We’ll return them all one day.

I guess I’ll never sleep again, will I?

Our little guy went down about 7:45 last night and he woke up briefly around ten but went back down quickly. At 1am, he decided he’d had enough sleep and was WIDE AWAKE! What is that about?

He was talking 90 to nothing and giggling to himself as he laid in bed. I got him up to change him and rock him and try to bribe him back to sleep. He just kept talking and talking. It was so cute – even at 2am! At 3am, I still thought it was cute but I was ready for a little less cute and a little more sleep. I’d put him back in the crib and I laid down in the twin bed in the nursery where he could see me. Just as I was about to doze off, I heard, “WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP”…. I almost peed my pants it was so funny.

I finally got my pillow and headed out the door. There was a minor protest but i left anyway and not long after that he fell back asleep. So I slept from about 3:30am to 5am when Brien’s alarm started going off. Now it’s 6am and I”m exhausted but couldn’t sleep. I took some advil and I’m heading back to bed now; here’s hoping our little guy sleeps until noon. ha ha ha

Oh ya, and one more thing WE HAVE AN ADORABLE TWO YEAR OLD!

God has far exceeded our expectations!

I want to remember this day, so here’s a recap.

The meeting took place at 3pm and at 4:15 I called M to see if she had heard anything. No word yet.

About 5pm, I walked outside and called Brigitte because she had been text messaging me neurotically all afternoon. ha ha ha I was only outside for a few minutes and when I opened the door to walk back in, Brien was on the phone and he was smiling ear to ear. He gave me the thumbs up sign and I started jumping up and down. When he got off the phone we both hugged and cried and then i pushed him and said, “you better not be messin’ with me!” ha ha

We called everyone we could think to call on our way to the office to pick up our little guy. We got there and changed his diaper, signed some papers and then headed home. He fussed a little when we put him in the car seat but he settled right down. I bought a huge stuffed red puppy dog that he held onto a little on the ride home. We asked him questions but he pretty much said no to everything. It didn’t take us long to realize that “no” was all he would answer to anything.

We fed him chicken nuggets and carrots when we got home. He said “no” (ofcourse) when we asked if he was hungry but he inhaled two carrots. Although he didn’t eat much of the nuggets, he did enjoy throwing them on the floor. Here’s how that went:

Little guy throws nugget on floor.
Brien says, “no, we don’t throw food on the floor.”
Little guy looks at Brien, looks at another nugget and throws it on floor.”
Brien say, “Little guy, I said no. Food is for eating not for throwing.”
Little guy picks up another nugget and throws it on floor.
Brien looks at me and says, “what do i do?” I said, “Heck if I know.”

We decided at that moment that it’s us against him and he’s likely to win. ha ha ha

He is adorable. He was very happy to play this evening, he LOVED his bath and had fun investigating. The house is definitely not toddler-proofed as much as we thought it was! People keep asking us how we feel. It’s wierd. I expected to be on cloud nine for days but really, everything just feels right.

One child is home and one will be soon. We pray these are our forever children. Right now, all we can do is believe they are and act accordingly. We are a family of four.

God is more amazing than we can begin to imagine. He has given us more than we asked for. All praise belongs to Him.

GOING TO PICK HIM UP NOW.

THank you, God.

It’s 3:05 CST and the fate of this foster child is currently being decided. We’ve prayed for God’s perfect will, we’ve prayed for God to bring these children to us, we’ve prayed for all caseworkers and others invovled……it’s God’s turn now. And He is going to hit a homerun just like He does every time.

My stomach is in knots and I feel a little nautious. But I’m also very excited. We’ve prepared all weekend as though a two year old is coming to live with us tonight. If that doesn’t happen, we’ll be heart-broken but we’ll praise God with our first breath. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”

You know what we want, Lord. You know our hearts’ deepest desire. More than anything else, we want to honor You and serve You. We trust You. We trust Your perfect plan.

I’ll post when I know more.

It’s 3:05 CST and the fate of this foster child is currently being decided. We’ve prayed for God’s perfect will, we’ve prayed for God to bring these children to us, we’ve prayed for all caseworkers and others invovled……it’s God’s turn now. And He is going to hit a homerun just like He does every time.

My stomach is in knots and I feel a little nautious. But I’m also very excited. We’ve prepared all weekend as though a two year old is coming to live with us tonight. If that doesn’t happen, we’ll be heart-broken but we’ll praise God with our first breath. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”

You know what we want, Lord. You know our hearts’ deepest desire. More than anything else, we want to honor You and serve You. We trust You. We trust Your perfect plan.

I’ll post when I know more.

YES, it is a good morning, even though I”m awake and it is only 4:45AM. I’ve slept as long as I can because I keep thinking of things I need to have on hand for a two year old. What has kept me awake this morning is thinking of a little step stool he can use to reach the sink in the bathroom.

And we don’t have a little table for the playroom, yet. One that he can sit at to color and stuff. I’ll need to get a toothbrush, some pj’s, some regular clothes….. I have no idea what size. He’ll need diapers. I guess I should pick up some small plastic plates and – what about spoons and forks? Does a two year old like smaller ones or do you think he’ll be eating with “big people” utensils.

I guess a lot depends on what his actual age is – I mean, he could be barely two or he could be almost three. These are the kinds of questions a rational person would think to ask……not me. When I was calling people to tell them about this situation, someone asked me if the children were caucasion, hispanic, african american, etc…. I realized I didn’t know. (just for the record, this person was one of my best friends and only trying to learn as much as possible about the children; she could care less if he is green or purple) When M called me back I was able to get some of my questions answered, but she didn’t know all of the information.

Sippy Cups! I should probably get some sippy cups, right? I don’t know how much to get. I don’t want to get a ton of stuff at first – and for now I’ll need to save all of my receipts in case this doesn’t end up happening. HOw much would that suck?

It’s been cold here in the mornings, I wonder if he has a jacket? I’m going to find a little stuffed animal, like a little puppy dog or something to give to him when he gets here. He’ll probably be so scared, maybe it will give him something to hang on to.

I’m trying not to go crazy buying stuff but I’d at least like to have some essentials oh hand. Since I have no idea what time he’ll be here on Sunday, I guess I better plan on something for dinner…and set the table for three.

I know. I know. There is a chance this won’t happen at all. I’m praying that God will close this door if it isn’t His perfect will. THe thing is, we’ve been selected to go to the four way on Sonny and Cher. THat will happen on Feb. 14. If we take this foster placement, we’ll no longer be considered for Sonny and Cher – obviously. We had to make a decision – either we take this foster placement OR we go to the four way for Sonny and Cher. If this placement doesn’t happen, then we’ll definitely still go to the four way on Sonny and Cher. We’ve prayed all a long that we get the children God has for us. We are not capable of figuring out who they are on our own so we are working on a “first come first serve basis”.

If Sonny and Cher are the children God has for us, we pray He closes the door on this foster placement. We only want what He has for us and we trust that He’ll make that happen. But we can’t choose one set of kids over another – regardless of their situation or their eligibility for adoption.

I bought a book the other day about adopting todlers; i’m going to start reading it now. I”m hoping there will be a chapter on what to do the first time you meet…etc… Cause I DON’T HAVE A CLUE.

-12

How do I write what is on my heart when so many thoughts are running through my mind? My life changed today at about 3:30pm when I received a phone call.

I’m not ready to write about this yet but I can’t not write about it, either. I don’t want to miss any of the details or forget the emotions swimming through me tonight. Throughout this entire process, I have envisioned what would happen when we got “The Call”…..how I would wait until Daddy-O got home and tell him in a fun way. I imagined going to see our parents and telling them in person about their soon-to-be grandchildren.

Funny, life never works the way we plan it. When that call came in today all rational thought left my head and my fingers started dialing as fast as they could. There is a two year old little boy in foster care tonight who may soon be coming to live at our house; maybe for forever and maybe just for a while. This will be a straight foster placement but the workers feel there is a good chance it will flip for adoption.

Today is Friday. The final decision will be made on Sunday. If he is moved from his current placement, he will be brought here. That same night. In less than 48 hours we could have a foster son living in our home. I know lots of you only read during the work week – what a surprise for those who log in on Monday morning to hear we have a foster son! ha ha ha

As you envision our family of two becoming a family of three, add one more. He has a baby sister, a newborn. She has not yet been released from the hospital but they expect her to be released sometime next week. She’ll come here also.

It doesn’t seem real to me; that all of this could happen so fast. I don’t believe it is really happening at all. I wan’t going to write until Monday, but we need your prayers. It would be so easy for me to pray that we get both of these children moved to our house and that we get to keep them forever. But we have to think of the children first. Their needs are so much more important than ours – PLEASE pray that God will put them in the place that is absolutely best for them. Pray also for us – that if they come here and are only here for a while that God will give us what we need to survive that.

Above all else, pray for a scared two year old little boy who probably doesn’t understand much of what is happening to him right now.

We are SO STINKIN’ excited we can’t stand it. We’re trying to guard our hearts but we can’t help but love these children already. Thank you, God, for the opportunity, for the hope and for your neverending Grace.

How do I write what is on my heart when so many thoughts are running through my mind? My life changed today at about 3:30pm when I received a phone call.

I’m not ready to write about this yet but I can’t not write about it, either. I don’t want to miss any of the details or forget the emotions swimming through me tonight. Throughout this entire process, I have envisioned what would happen when we got “The Call”…..how I would wait until Brien got home and tell him in a fun way. I imagined going to see our parents and telling them in person about their soon-to-be grandchildren.

Funny, life never works the way we plan it. When that call came in today all rational thought left my head and my fingers started dialing as fast as they could. There is a two year old little boy in foster care tonight who may soon be coming to live at our house; maybe for forever and maybe just for a while. This will be a straight foster placement but the workers feel there is a good chance it will flip for adoption.

Today is Friday. The final decision will be made on Sunday. If he is moved from his current placement, he will be brought here. That same night. In less than 48 hours we could have a foster son living in our home. I know lots of you only read during the work week – what a surprise for those who log in on Monday morning to hear we have a foster son! ha ha ha

As you envision our family of two becoming a family of three, add one more. He has a baby sister, a newborn. She has not yet been released from the hospital but they expect her to be released sometime next week. She’ll come here also.

It doesn’t seem real to me; that all of this could happen so fast. I don’t believe it is really happening at all. I wan’t going to write until Monday, but we need your prayers. It would be so easy for me to pray that we get both of these children moved to our house and that we get to keep them forever. But we have to think of the children first. Their needs are so much more important than ours – PLEASE pray that God will put them in the place that is absolutely best for them. Pray also for us – that if they come here and are only here for a while that God will give us what we need to survive that.

Above all else, pray for a scared two year old little boy who probably doesn’t understand much of what is happening to him right now.

We are SO STINKIN’ excited we can’t stand it. We’re trying to guard our hearts but we can’t help but love these children already. Thank you, God, for the opportunity, for the hope and for your neverending Grace.