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People always want to know what it’s like to wait through the process of adoption. It seems everyone has a story of waiting on God and they want to share it with me, which I really don’t mind. Unless I’m feeling cranky which has been quite often lately. But I’m not sure how to explain what the waiting is like. Until this weekend.
We went to dinner with friends Saturday night and while we were sitting at our table a couple walked by with two small children. They looked like they could have been one and two years old. The older was a girl, the younger a boy. As conversation took place around me, I found myself wondering if they could possibly be the two siblings in foster care. Then it dawned on me……that’s what the waiting is like. You see children and you wonder if that stranger is holding the child that will one day be yours.
I know that probably sounds a little creepy but I don’t care. That is what’s going through my mind most of the time. I don’t look at people and wonder if they are drug addicts or alcoholics who will one day have their children taken away from them – I look at them and wonder if they are foster parents caring for a child who may become eligible for adoption. So I hope that makes it less creepy.
And if it doesn’t……..well, then I guess I’m creepy. I can deal with that. I’d rather be anything than “normal”.
-5
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I think it’s wonderful that God gives you ways to keep hoping and trusting!
I still believe He’s waiting for the very best match you for you!!
Comment by jettybetty January 30, 2006 @ 6:16 amFor the first few months we were waiting I wondered about every pregnant woman I saw. It was very strange.
Comment by sster January 30, 2006 @ 9:21 amI can totally understand, i remember one time i was in WalMart and i saw a teenage girl and she was preg. walking around with her teen age boyfriend, and i wanted to go ask her if she was going to keep her baby, because if not i would take it! that’s when i felt a little “creepy” but ididn’t care either! love ya mel-
Comment by melony January 30, 2006 @ 9:48 amI can understand. I told my oldest one day that our next adoptees would be being born right now, if we stay on the same time schedule. And then she said, “But Mom, think about everything they are going to go through before we get them!” I was thinking about it in a sweet way, because they are being born soon, and she put the dose of reality on it. I told her there’s nothing we can do about that, except pray for them. Very bittersweet.
Comment by Sunshine January 30, 2006 @ 11:54 amI have had those same thoughts only about my biological mother. I went through a search to find her approx. a year ago and up until she was found I couldn’t help but wonder if the next lady walking by me (that had similar characteristics, etc.) was my mother. As a young child, I thought that all the time. Of course, I had fantasy thoughts as well,….”she is probably an actress with lots of money and she is going to find me and take me shopping and buy me whatever it is I want!” One more member for the Creepy Club!
Comment by Lori January 30, 2006 @ 2:32 pmYou have totally nailed it! (and I’ve been loving your “stupid people suck” blogs). From feeling like a stalker, to an obsessive complusive, to a freak – I’ve felt it all.
Comment by Tamara January 30, 2006 @ 2:34 pmARE OUR ADOPTED CHILDREN GOING TO FEEL LIKE LORI? IS THAT JUST A PART OF IT ALL? WILL THEY TALK ABOUT IT? WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP THEM? THAT HAS ME THINKING…..A LOT! LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT ONE!?!MEL-
Comment by MELONY January 30, 2006 @ 6:04 pmMel,
Comment by WyldJoker January 30, 2006 @ 8:13 pmOf course our adopted children are going to be like lori. It’s all part of the process. But we can make it easier for them as they start that journey by being there for them and answering any questions they have honestly and truethfully. Probably not to the point of hurting them, but to the point that it helps them understand why their bio-mom’s made the choice they did. I know my daughter anna whill have these questions eventually and have opt’ed to keep the lines of communication open for her bio-family so it would be easier (i only hope) for her to get in touch with them later on when she’s ready.
wyldjoker has it! My adopted (real family) parents told me from day one, that I was adopted. They were upfront and honest, they answered my questions with answers that were age appropriate and that I could handle at the time. When I was ready, they gave me every answer that they had and they even aided in finding out non-identifying information for me. One of the greatest gifts I ever received aside from Salvation! So first and foremost – be honest. Give appropriate age answers. Secondly – never never make their bio parents appear evil, mean or bad people. They are loving people who had so much love that they gave a child up! Isn’t that what Christ did for us? Obviously He was hung on a cross, but could you imagine giving of a child that you carried for 9 months? Please pray for your bio mom’s and Dad’s that God would give them peace about their decision and that they would someday know the wonderful Creator that gave them life as well as their child! Sorry I’m not trying to preach at you guys – I’m trying to encourage from an adopted child perspective. I love talking about adoption, it is my life! Bring on any question you may have! From an adopted child, who has adopted and is in the middle of adopting and who has found her mom!
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