My Ebenezer

It started off with a haircut and then I went to help Brigitte get Barrett’s Christmas pictures taken. Who knew how much work it took to get a 3 month old to smile for a few pictures. I know we looked like complete fools dancing and singing and goo-gooing at him trying to get the little stinker to smile. It was all worth it, though, because his pictures are absolutely adorable!

I had Barrett with me in Foley’s when my cell phone rang and it was my case worker. That’s when she changed my whole day by telling me about the four-way for Goldilocks. It was so much fun – such an adreniline rush that I was actually shaking. I know you think i’m nuts and, well, I am. But that’s besides the point. I was just caught so off guard and was feeling giddy – I tried to call Daddy-O but he didn’t answer his phone so i left him a message and went off to look for Brigitte. I found her near the elevators and just blurted it all out – “we’re going to the four-way TOMORROW on the little girl.” After that, I just couldn’t think straight. I had to give Brigitte my receipt and card so she could exchange some jeans for me.

I know what some of you are probably thinking…..don’t get your hopes up in case this isn’t the one. I know that logically that would make sense. But there is nothing logical about a mother’s love and I already love my child. I just don’t know who that child is yet. I can’t stop myself from getting excited.

And if it isn’t Goldilocks, I’ll be just as giddy and excited next week when it’s time for Spiderman’s four-way. And if it’s not Spiderman, then we’ll be just as excited the next time. Our hearts will break with each child that is not ours, but they will also mend. In the end, it will be worth it.

You may be wondering what the process is after tomorrow. I’m not going to give you all the possible scenarios because God showed us last time that we just don’t know what will or could happen. I do know that God is in control and we’ll get the child(ren) He has for us.

If we are chosen for Goldilocks tomorrow, I’m not sure how long it will be before she is placed with us. The judge overseeing her case may want to read our homestudy or we may be able to begin visits right away. If I understand correctly, if the judge does need to read our homestudy before a placement is made, then I think we’ll still go to the four-way on Spiderman.

I did express to M, our case worker, today that we don’t want to be in a situation where we have to choose one over the other. We just can’t do that. Ofcourse, I want them both but I don’t think that’s an option since they aren’t siblings.

One way or another, our life will change tomorrow. We’ll be one step closer to our child, either to Goldilocks, Spiderman, or another child He has for us. Either way, tomorrow is one day closer.

Thank You, God. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. We want the child(ren) You have for us. Nothing less, nothing else and nothing more.

Brigitte is coming over tomorrow to try and keep my occupied while we wait. SO leave me lots of comments, questions, etc…. so we’ll be entertained.

Oh, and by the way, to the person who thinks I blog because I don’t have a life….I do have a life. It’s so interesting, I am inspired to share it with others! ha ha ha

WOW! Was I surprised to hear from my case worker today telling me that we are going to a four-way TOMORROW on Goldilocks. She also told me that Goldilocks is now 13 months old. So, TOMORROW, we find out if we have a daughter named Grace. You have to go and read that post, you’ll see why when you read it. My first ever post was about a child I called “Grace” and now we’re going to a four way on a child named Grace.

It’s all about God’s Grace……….

Edited to add….Sster asks what time. The meeting is at 1pm so please pray. Pray for all involved to make the best decision for this child.

Oops, I don’t know why the link isn’t working. Click it and then once it comes up with the error page, just click GO on web toolbar and it will work. Bizarre.

One week from today we may find out whether or not we are the parents to be of a 6 (now 7) month old baby boy. I hope there really is a meeting this time and I hope we really are chosen. HOnestly, I haven’t been thinking about it all that much, I’m thinking a lot more about New York City and how much fun we’ll have there.

When we get home, I’ll have less than 48 hours to wait for the four-way.

We still haven’t heard when the four-way for Goldilocks is scheduled for.

December 2003, mom and I went to New York City. We must have been the last plane to land at Newark airport that day because there a was a huge snow storm. We waited an hour to catch a train into the city where we stayed in a corporate apartment on Central Park South. On a day when most New Yorkers didn’t even venture out to go in to the office, mom and I wandered the streets throwing snow at each other. It was beautiful.

December 2004, Karen and I went to New York City for 4 whole days and stayed again in the corporate apartment. The weather was cold but we didn’t get the blizzard we got in 2003.

It did snow our last night while we were walking around in Little Italy and it was almost magical. Karen thought it was cold, I thought it was magical…ha ha ha

There’s just something about NYC in December. Seeing the tree in Rockefeller Center, watching the Rockettes, shopping on Fifth Avenue (window shopping that is), seeing the window displays in the big department stores. It just feels like Christmas in NYC.

I don’t know what the lure of big city life is, but it’s so appealing to me. The sounds, the sights, the smells…I can almost feel it as I remember the times I’ve spent there. I’ve been to NYC many times throughout the last few years on business trips and each time has been an adventure. Riding the subway, hailing a cab….things we just don’t get to do here in Houston. Although every visit to NYC has been fun, there’s just something about Christmas in New York that seems to bring the holidays to life.

So, December 2005…Karen, Brigitte and I are off to New York City for a weekend of shopping and living in luxury. (courtesy of frequent hotel points and frequent flyer points) I’m so excited I just can’t stand it. Weather forecast is calling for snow and I hope it falls the whole time we’re there.

It’s really a last minute trip that has finally come together – we leave this Friday early morning and will be back Sunday night late. We’re going to shop until we drop and I hope to come back with enough knockoff purses to last me through 2006. Look out NYC, here we come.

What does a redneck do when the remote control batteries die?

You tie a piece of yarn to the plug so that you can at least watch tv while you’re in bed. You won’t be able to change channels or adjust volume, but when you’re ready to go to sleep, you just give a good tug on the yarn and out comes the plug – which turns off the tv.

I wish I could take credit for this ingenius design, but the credit goes to Daddy-O. I’d make fun of it, but I was the one who used it. LOL

There are so many reasons I love my husband, I can’t begin to list them all here. He is absolutely the love of my life and I’ve no doubt that God created each of us for the other. He is the best friend I’ve ever had. Over the last five years, we’ve laughed until our stomachs hurt, we’ve cried until there were no more tears, we’ve prayed until our knees wore out and we’ve even thrown a few frying pans! So here’s to you, Daddy-O, on our fifth anniversary:

Top Ten Reasons I love you:

• Number Ten – You’re hot!
• Number Nine – You laugh louder than anyone else in the theater and you don’t care
• Number Eight – You’re good to your mother
• Number Seven – It never occurs to you to be embarrassed
• Number Six – You can fix anything around the house
• Number Five – You are going to be the best daddy
• Number Four – You’re slow to anger
• Number Three – You’re always “there” for me and anyone else who needs you
• Number Two – You believe in doing the right thing even when no one is looking
• And the number one reason I love you is because you love Christ first, with all your heart and all your strength and all your mind

UGH! I have to say that I am absolutely disguisted by reports of people being trampled trying to get into Wal Mart or other stores for discounted items. It sickens me to see video clips of people pushing and shoving so they get a head start on their holiday shopping – the holiday, the special day we set aside to honor the fact that Jesus Christ was born. Irony.

Anyway, if you watched your national news you very likely saw a clip of a store opening where people were trampled. The funniest thing I saw all day. I know, I know, it sounds horrible. I tried to find the clip so I could show you – if any of you find it online, please leave the link in the comments section. This lady gets knocked down and if you aren’t watching closely, it appears as though she is trying to pull herself together and get back on her feet. Getting back on her feet was not her top priority, however, putting her wig back on was.

Before you get mad at me for making fun of bald people, let me assure you this woman did not appear to be bald. With or without her wig. It just made me laugh because I was thinking, if I’m on the ground between the store entrance and one thousand crazy people trying to get in the store to buy something, I don’t think the first thing I’d be doing is reaching for my wig. Gives the saying, “A bad hair day” a whole new meaning.

Thanksgiving already? Is anyone else completely caught off guard by this? I know it comes the same time every year, but is it really Thanksgiving already? In the year 2005? How did this happen?

Sometimes I wake up and look around me and I wonder whose house I’m living in. I certainly don’t feel old enough to own a house (technically, the bank owns it). Am I really that “grown up”?

I’m almost afraid to sleep at night because I fear that when I wake in the morning, my children will be married with their own kids. You read that correctly, I said that I’m worried the children I don’t have yet will be grown with kids of their own when I wake up tomorrow. It’s just that times goes by so quickly.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the adoption and the impatience of waiting, but a few months isn’t long at all; not when you look at the whole picture. They’ll be here before I know it. And then they’ll be gone before I know it. Just like that. When did time start passing so quickly?

Anyway, Thanksgiving 2005. We’ll spend the first part of the day with Daddy-O’s side of the family and the second part with my side. Lots of good food and lots of little ones to play with. I think my nephew will be coming home with me for the night so his mom can shop on Friday. Woo Hoo!

So, I have two questions:
1)what traditions does your family have for Thanksgiving?
2)are you going shopping on Friday?

Me – absolutely no shopping. Hate going to the stores when they’re crowded. HATE IT. While you guys are out for hours fighting crowds and knocking down old ladies to save a few dollars, I’ll finish my shopping in an hour and have the gifts delivered to my front door already wrapped and everything. Can’t beat that.

You should go on over to Shawn’s new blog and check out the adorable pictures of her baby girl – she even has a place for her own fan mail.

I decided to go out and take advantage of some of the big sales today, you know, get a jump on my Christmas shopping? Well, I drive to the mall and park the mini van. I even get out and then I look around at all the cars and say to myself, “What are you thinking?” I HATE crowded stores. Plus, my back has been killing me so I got back in the van and left.

Fortunately, there is a Circuit City nearby so I stopped in there and bought myself two things. That’s generally how Christmas shopping goes for me….one for you, two for me…..ha ha ha. I did get my nephew something so that counts, right?

Anyway, you won’t find me anywhere near a store on Friday. Way too chaotic for me. I prefer to do my shopping online anyway.

Speaking of Friday, it is our fifth wedding anniversary. I’ll have to think of something special to do for Daddy-O. Hmmmm…maybe I’ll let him wash the mini van. ha ha ha

I’m pleased that the four-way for Spiderman has been rescheduled. I’d even say I’m cautiously optimistic about our chances, but not as much as I was before. I’m afraid to put my heart out there completely and try not to daydream too often about what he might look like or smell like. What his little laugh must sound like. I don’t imagine holding him in my arms and praying over him each night after putting him in his crib. I have more self control than that – I can keep myself from becoming too emotionally vested in this child I’ve never met.

It’s that girl in the mirror whose are eyes are overflowing with hope. She is soaring and dreaming and praying and wishing. She doesn’t care about guarding her heart; she just wants to love her child. She wants to start now just in case this one is THE one – she just doesn’t want to miss one minute of loving him.

I look at her and ask all the what if’s you can think of. “What if he isn’t for you? What if you aren’t chosen? What if his family is somewhere else?” And her response is always the same. “What if he IS?”

Jer 17:7-87 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,And whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,Which spreads out its roots by the river,And will not fear when heat comes;But its leaf will be green,And will not be anxious in the year of drought,Nor will cease from yielding fruit.”NKJV

So it’s official. The adoption process has not only reaked havoc on our emotions, but it has also made me schizophrenic.

So Spiderman’s fate is decided on December 6 at 1pm. Either that, or the meeting to determine his fate will be postponed again. Let’s pray that Spiderman goes home (wherever that may be) before Christmas. While we’re at it, let’s pray for Goldilocks, too. Her four way has still not been scheduled and I’m afraid her case worker is over loaded and focusing on more pressing matters. Let’s pray that Goldilocks also goes home before Christmas.

Still no date set for the four-way on Goldilocks.

Spiderman’s four-way has been officially rescheduled. I know the date and time but I’m not sure if I want to post it. I’m terrible, aren’t I?

Thanks to my darling sister, I now have something else to occupy my time while I wait for our baby(ies). Somewhere in this game is an explanation (eggsplanation) of patience and God’s timing verses ours, etc….

If you’re waiting for a child or just looking for something to do, check it out and let me know if you can beat my high score of 290. That level gets really exciting. ha ha ha

Smiley, also known as Brigitte, just started her own blog (after a little prompting from me) so be sure to check our her site and leave her lots of comments. Whatever you do, don’t refer to her adorable son as Barrett – she calls him this in her first post but it’s really not his name. His name is Bull. You’d have to know her last name in order to understand how funny this is so you’ll just have to take my word for it. (Just like Karen’s unborn child is not really called Avery, but Cletus.)

Anyway, these are real life friends and not just “virtual” friends.

Have a great weekend.

In honor of Thanksgiving, I’m going to try and reinstate “Thankful Thursdays”. Also, JettyBetty has been doing it lately and she’s inspired me to start again. I say start “again” like I was on a roll or something. I think I did it for two or three weeks and then forgot.

Well, here’s my list of what I’m thankful for today. Add yours in the comments section.

1. Today was Dad’s last chemo treatment! Woo Hoo Praise God that He got all of them on schedule and never postponed any because of low blood count or being sick.
2. Our homestudy was chosen for another four-way. (Goldilocks)
3. Karen heard a good, strong heartbeat for Cletus today (sorry k, i can’t stop calling HER that)
4. God’s gentle reminders each day.
5. I’m thankful I have a friend who says stuff like “I went to Hobby Lobby the other day and looked for a Hobby but I couldn’t find one!”
6. The little toe on my right foot appears to be broken but it doesn’t hurt as much as you would expect a broken toe to hurt. It feels more numb than painful…unless I put too much weight on it. Anyway, I’m digressing…..
7. I’m especially thankful these days for all of the wonderful women God has put in my life who are also going through this adoption process! Misery loves company.

….on this crazy roller coaster called adoption? It looks like we need to buckle up and hold on tight because here we go again.

We’ve been selected to go to the four-way on Goldilocks. (The 9 month old baby GIRL)! Girl is accentuated because the stripes are already pink! Woo Hoo.

I have to admit our enthusiasm is not what it was when we first found out about going to the four-way on Spiderman. We learned our lesson and we’re not going to go nuts. Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. Let’s just say we are thrilled to have been chosen for a second four-way and are hopeful that eventually we’ll get a child.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”

M does not yet know when the four-way will be held, she’s trying to find that information out now. I told her on the phone that we didn’t want to know when it was scheduled – we’d rather her call us the day before or the day of the meeting and let us know so we aren’t too anxious about it. Then I emailed her and told her that I did want to know. I’m sure she thinks I’m neurotic. O well, I guess I am. ha ha ha I don’t know if she’ll tell us or not. We were submitted on this child about a month ago so they aren’t moving quickly with her – in other words, don’t hold your breath! (but pray for a Christmas baby!)

Also, there is another possibility out there that I’m not ready to blog about just yet. Be in prayer for a child we’ll call Plastic Man in honor of Smiley.

And if you can’t keep up with my pseudo names, don’t worry. I can’t either, i always have to go back and look them up.

God’s love for us goes so far beyond our own understanding. We simply can not fathom how much our Father loves His children. Today, I was reminded of how much God loves me in very tangible ways.

First, I have to tell you that my Love Language is gifts. For those of you who have read Gary Chapman’s book, that will make sense to you. For others, read the book or wait for the post.

Today, my cousin stopped with a gift for me. For me? A gift? Woo Hoo! It’s not a usual thing for her to stop by (we really need to change that), much less to bring me a gift. The gift was a book titled A Treasury of Adoption Miracles by author Karen Kingsbury. You should really order a copy or buy one for someone else and bless them with this book today! I read the whole thing this afternoon and can’t wait to read it again. It’s full of promise and hope and God’s richest blessings.

Anyway, so she stops by with this book and a card. The inside of the card said, “I hope your day is filled with gentle reminders of how deeply God loves you.” And it was. The book, more gifts from Smiley and Bull, cookies from Granny and a phone call from a friend I haven’t talked to in ages. The best gift was realizing that all of these little things were God’s gentle reminders that He loves me.

Our disappointment from last week seemed so big at the time. Looking back, I can see God carrying us through each day, knowing we’d need encouragement and love from friends and families. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who called, emailed or commented to let us know they were thinking of us and praying for us as we awaited news on Spiderman. God’s arms were wrapped tightly around us as He braced us for the disappointment that was to come.

The best news of all is in Jeremiah 29:11, where God has made a promise to us. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’” This is all part of God’s plan. God still knows where our children are and He is busy working to bring them to us. I know you’re probably tired of hearing me quote Jeremiah 29:11, but I just can’t stop myself. God is soooo good.

I can’t help but wonder how many times I’ve missed His gentle reminders because I was too focused on myself. His faithfulness has NEVER waivered, even when mine has. “Great is His love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.” Psalm 117:2 NIV

I’ve been meaning to post and show you all a picture of my friend Melony’s baby! Melony, aka shorthorns…..This is their beautiful boy, Canaan. Isn’t he the cutest ever? He’s joining their family the same way our kids will join ours. Holding him is holding and answer to prayer. And did I mention he’s cute?

There are 10 days until Thanksgiving.

There are 11 days until our 5 year anniversary.

There are 41 days until Christmas. YIKES! FORTY-ONE days!

There are 47 days left in 2005.

I’ve been real busy today, huh?

Daddy-O was gone all week – he was out trying to slay Bambi as it was opening week for hunting season in Texas. Note I said “trying” because the “Bambi” in this story managed to elude the mighty hunter this week.

Because I had the house to myself, I was able to watch a lot of old movies and had quite a bit of “me time”. One of my all time favorites is, “When Harry Met Sally.” I watched it the other day and my most favorite part of the whole movie is when Harry runs through Manhatten to get to the New Year’s Eve party so he can tell Sally he loves her. Sally isn’t satisfied with his declaration of love on New Year’s Eve because she thinks he’s just lonely….until he says the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. Well, almost.

He says, “blah blah blah blah blah blah ….. it’s just that when you realize who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

When I heard that line for the thousandth time (i’ve seen this movie a lot), it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. That’s it. That’s EXACTLY how I feel about this whole adoption thing. When we realize that we want this child(ren) to become part of our family forever, we want forever to start right away. It was an epiphany of sorts; it suddenly made sense:

We’ve been living life “on hold.”

Daddy-O and I had this conversation this afternoon. He said if there is one thing that he learned from the recent “four-way tease” it’s that we have to live our lives now. We can’t keep waiting for THE CALL or making plans with disclaimers in case we have our baby. We talk about doing this or that and say, well, we can’t because we’ll probably have a baby by then……… and that has to stop.

We’re going to make plans and if we happen to get our baby between now and then, we’ll just have to change them. We hereby reserve the right to back out of vacation plans, holiday plans, dinner with friends plans or any other type of plans at the last minute without the slightest bit of guilt.

There is so much more to this than just planning but it’s all I’ve got the heart for tonight. I’ll save the rest for another post.

PS I think we’re going to tell our case worker that the next time we are chosen for a four-way we don’t want to know about it until the day before or the morning of.

PSS Does anyone know what “PS” actually stands for?

Ya, you read that correctly. It says “Crap Wand” in the title. How many of you have ever wished for a “Crap Wand”? Hmmmm…..I bet you’re wondering where I’m going with this, aren’t you? This could get pretty gross so timid readers beware. I need a “Crap Wand!”

Sometimes I just need a little help getting rid of stuff I don’t need. It’s a very natural part of life and it should happen easily but let’s face it: Sometimes, stuff just gets stuck. Now that I’ve got your attention, I should clarify what kind of crap I’m talking about.

The stuff that’s been lying around your house for years and never been used. Stuff you “may use one day” or stuff you’ll “get around to sorting through later.” I fall into the second category. Procrastination is my middle name and really, it should be my first. Here’s an example, I have 10, yes TEN phone books lying around my house. Well, three of them are on the front porch (they were delivered last week) so technically they aren’t “in” the house. Two were stacked on a rack in my kitchen and SIX were in a cabinet. The irony here is that I haven’t used a phone book in 5 years – that’s what the internet is for.

So back to my Crap Wand. I wish I had a wand that I could wave over various piles of crap in my house and it would magically remove it forever. Here’s an example of what I mean:

This is the baker’s rack in my kitchen. If you look closely, you can see the phone books in the lower right hand corner. There is silverware, place mats, a wedding bouquet, table cloths, cook books, a picture frame, a few books for work, a bag of books given as a birthday gift in JUNE, dried (dead and ugly) flowers…….the list goes on. I even found some vacation pictures from February!

I’ve tried rearranging and cleaning this rack. I’ve cleared it off a few different times but it always ends up looking this way again after just a few weeks. It’s a shame, too, because it is perfect for this space in my kitchen.

I’ve tried to change my ways. Really, I have. It’s just no use, I will forever be a stuffaholic. A hoarder. A packrat. It makes me crazy because I do not want to see clutter in my house – I HATE it. So I’ve come up with a perfect solution.

This is it.

If only I could find that “Crap Wand” to get all of this stuff into that cabinet. Daddy-O will be home from hunting in about 3 more hours so I guess I better get started. By the way, I built that cabinet. And what I mean by “built” is put it together.

Nothing more from our case worker. So we’re back to the waiting game. Perhaps we’re one step closer now?

Could someone wrap up a baby and put it under our tree for Christmas?

Okay, so yesterday I was disappointed and frustrated – although I did think the outcome was funny since it was one we had not envisioned. Today, I’m feeling kinda funky. You know? Like all this planning and hoping and dreaming is never going to amount to anything? Sometimes I feel like it’s just never going to happen.

The ironic thing is that i haven’t been waiting all that long, either. Not really. I’m just whining a bit – I figure I’m entitled. It’s important to me, however, that you know that I believe with my whole heart that God knows what He is doing. I trust Him, I really, really trust Him and I’m okay with whatever He does in my life. I invite Him to take control of my life and direct my steps. That doesn’t mean I don’t get sad or feel sorry for myself. (which believe me, I’ve been doing quite a bit of today – just ask the can of chocolate icing that is mysteriously half gone)

One of the best lessons that I have learned in life is that God does not expect us to always “feel” like praising Him. He does expect us to praise Him even when we don’t feel like it. And to be honest, today I feel like poop. I thought we were so close to bringing our child home and now it feels like it may never happen. But you know what? I still trust God. I still believe Him. Just saying these things out loud brings a smile to my heart.

And God has blessed us with so many wonderful friends and family who faithfully pray for us and our children. I was overwhelmed with how many people left comments, sent emails or phoned us in the last couple of days to let us know that they’d be praying for us. Every one of them touched our hearts. Thanks for that.

I’ve been able to compare almost every step of this process to a real pregnancy. So in the words of my sister, “This was false labor.” Maybe next time it will be the real thing.

As for Spiderman, I hope and pray that his birthfamily can pull their lives together and that he can go home to them. Who could be sad about that?

If you grew up in any prostestant church, chances are you recognize the title of this post from a much loved hymn. The chorus goes:
Great is thy faithfulness!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see!.
All I have needed, thy handed hath provided;
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

We’ve prayed throughout this process that we would not be chosen for a child unless it was the child God had for us. Because we are doing Legal Risk Adoption, there will always be some degree of uncertainty when a child is placed with us. One of our concerns about Spiderman was that with the information provided, it just didn’t feel as probable as we wanted it to that Spiderman would become legally free for adoption.

This morning, M called to let us know that as of right now, Spiderman’s case is not being rescheduled. There is a court hearing next week where the judge will determine whether or not Spiderman should still be placed in a “foster-to-adopt” home. In other words, there is a real possibility that he could get to go home. That’s a good thing for Spiderman. If mom and dad can get it together, then home is where he needs to be.

While we are disappointed that we aren’t as close to bringing our child home as it looked like we might be, we are so thankful for what God is doing here. Our hearts may be a little bruised, but if Spiderman had been placed with us and then moved back home, they would have been shattered.

Great is His faithfulness. Great is His Faithfulness. Morning by morning, new mercies we see. All we have needed, His hand has provided. Great is Your Faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

We said that we would praise God if we got a “yes” on Spiderman.

We said that we would praise God if we got a “no” on Spiderman.

We never imagined that we’d get a “wait”. BUt that’s what happened. We found out about 2:20 that the four-way was canceled – or rescheduled. Our case worker has been working hard to find out when it will now take place and will let us know as soon as she does.

We both laughed when we got the news. In our humaness, we imagined every possible scenario except for this one. Don’t worry, though, we’re still praising and thanking God. He knows what He’s doing and He will not let anyone get in the way of His plan for us. So relax. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Are we frustrated? A little. Disappointed? Sure. But we’re hanging in there. God is good, friends and we trust Him.

We also found out that Batman has been placed. So spiderman is really the only child we are waiting on now. I’ll post as soon as we find out when the meeting is.

Poor Daddy-O, drove 3 1/2 hours from the hunting camp just to be here for the phone call. He’s headed back now and I told him not to drive back if the meeting is later this week. He’s so sweet! He even brought me flowers. What a guy.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”

Thank you, God, for the opportunity to be considered to parent Spiderman. We pray that You would let nothing stand in the way of Spiderman getting placed with the family that will best meet his needs. We ask that you give the case workers, judge and all others involved wisdom and discernment. Thank you for what you are doing in our lives and in the life of this precious child. We want Spiderman, Lord, You know we’d love to have him as our own. You also know our hearts and know that we want Your will first in our lives. Whatever the outcome tomorrow, we’ll praise You and honor You with all that we have and all that we are. We thank you now for the family You have for us and the children You will bring to us. Your will, not ours. It is in the name of Jesus Christ that we pray, Amen.

M called this morning and gave me an update on the children we’ve been submitted on.

• Superman has been placed already
• Goldilocks is MIA – so far she hasn’t been placed but we probably won’t find out anything more on her unless we make it to the four-way
• *NEW* Batman is a 6 month old baby boy that we are being submitted on, don’t know when a family will be selected for him
• Spiderman, of course we find out tomorrow so if we get spiderman, the above is null and void.

I love M. SHe is wonderful and very sensitive!

Tomorrow we find out if Christmas comes early this year. I can’t think about it too much because when I do, i have a little trouble breathing. It’s exciting to think that tomorrow could bring the call that changes our lives forever. The not knowing kills me – absolutely kills me. In fact, if we don’t get Spiderman, I’m going to tell M that the next time we go to a four-way I don’t want to know about it until a or two before. I just can’t stand the waiting.

Tomorrow will be a good day because at least we wont’ have to wait anymore – not on Spiderman, anyway. One way or the other, hopefully the anxiety will diminish. Until the next time, anyway.

So here’s the deal for tomorrow. Those of you who know us well enough to have our phone number, PLEASE DO NOT CALL US. My heart will drop every time the phone rings tomorrow afternoon so please don’t call. I promise we’ll let you know. If we find out that we are getting Spiderman, we’ll call our parents and a few other people and then I promise to post. We’re not expecting a call until about 3pm as we’ve been told these meetings usually last about 2 hours.

Please pray for M – that she would feel confident in this meeting and do a great job “selling” us.

Please pray for the decision makers, Spiderman’s case worker is one of them, that God will give them wisdom and discernment in choosing a home for Spiderman.

ABove all else, please pray that the best family for Spiderman is chosen – for its not about us, it’s really about Spiderman and what is best for him. Ofcourse we believe that we’ll be a wonderful family for any child, but every child has special needs and we want Spiderman to be with the family who can best meet his needs. We’d love for it to be us, but it may not be. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, We only want the child(ren) God has for us and we will wait on Him as long as it takes.

Thanks for your prayers and support. We hope tomorrow is “THE” day but if it’s not, we know it will be soon.

For those of you who know what “Donkey Kong” is or perhaps you’re a fan of “Pac Man”, surely you must also remember Q*bert! Well, guess what I just found? It’s not quite the same, but it’s a click down memory lane….

So the other day I was craving fried chicken. Fewer things in life are better than really good friend chicken, right? I ordered mine extra crispy (because we all know the skins are the best part) and decided to get 6 pieces so I could have left over fried chicken. Other than the skins, the next best thing is cold fried chicken.

When I got home with my fried chicken, I got my plate and the ketchup (because who eats fried chicken without ketchup?) and settled in for my meal. This is when I realized that while the skin was definitely extra crispy, the chicken was extra rubbery. What? I didn’t order that. It seems that “Extra Crispy” means we leave it in the grease long enough to char the outside and “rubberize” the inside.

So I did what any self-respecting Southerner would do. I ate ALL the skins and threw all the meat away.

Oh ya, and in 3 days we find out if we get to parent Spiderman.

I wish I were logging in tonight to tell you all how calm and sane I am as I count the days until the four-way. I could do that…tell you I’ve hardly thought about Spiderman….tell you that I haven’t had panic attacks thinking about waiting for the phone to ring on Tuesday….tell you I haven’t been planning new ways to stalk my new case worker just to see if she happens to know anything new…. I could tell you all sorts of things, but I’d be lying.

I’m dying. Absolutely dying as I count the hours until that call. We could have a son in just a matter of days. That is hard to imagine. And my To Do List? The one that is supposed to keep me busy this week? I’ve gotten to a few of the items on the list. O well.

So, I’m depending on YOU to keep me entertained. I want to know who you are. You don’t have to give me your life story, I just want to know who is reading. It’s curiosity and nothing more. I have to wait to find out about Spiderman – not knowing KILLS me, so you can help by letting me know who you are. I can see where people log in from, but no email addresses or personal information or anything like that. So please leave a comment and just tell me who you are. A first name….a first name and last name….a relationship (aunt, uncle, etc…) or simply how you found my blog? Please? Anything? I’ll settle for just a name.

Though I really want all of you to tell me who you are, here is a list of the places I’m really perplexed about:

• Honolulu – who are you and can I please come and visit?
• Mountain View, California
• Bozeman, Montana
• Verona, PA
• Stanford, Ca
• LaGrange, Tx – Noak or oops perhaps?
• Vancouver, WA

Also, who uses kinja.com? Is that you, GMW?

Anyway, I’d be thrilled to know who you are. Ofcourse, you are welcome to keep reading and lurking – you don’t have to identify yourself. But it would MAKE MY DAY if you did. Absolutely MAKE MY DAY. So let’s say we try and set a record today for the number of comments left on this blog. It’s really easy to do, just click right below this post where it says, “# comments” (# being the number of comments there are!). C’mon, help me out. I’m begging. Really begging.

So my dear friend, “Smiley”, came over with her sweet baby “bull” today. We have “play dates” once a week and soon I hope to add my own child to this mix. We decided to start them even though I don’t have one yet, but mostly that’s so I can play with “bull”.

Today, as “Smiley” and I were talking and I told her about a dream I had the other night (I dreamed we did not get Spiderman) she told me about her own dream. She dreamt that I called and told her we were getting a baby boy who was close to “Bull’s”age (Bull is 2 months old) in about two weeks. That by itself doesn’t seem like such a big deal. But she had this dream the night BEFORE I called to tell her we’d been chosen to go to a four-way on Spiderman!

Was “Smiley’s” dream prophetic? I SURE HOPE SO!

1. Get over this nasty cold
2. Catch up on Thank You notes
3. Write letters I’ve been putting off
4. Get the freezer fixed
5. Get the front door fixed
6. Go through big bins of crap in my office
7. Catch up on my filing
8. Work on a Christmas present I’m making
9. Get carpet cleaned
10. Get shower lists together