My Ebenezer

When we first got the news, I was in shock. We called our parents, talked to friends and even blogged about it. I remained cautiously optimistic all evening. I was excited, but not too excited because it isn’t for sure. And even if we are chosen, it still isn’t “for sure” as this is a legal risk adoption.

Something happened while we were watching tv tonight. I don’t even remember what it was – but it had something to do with a father and a son. All at once it hit me – we could have a son in a matter of weeks. A son. Our son. A perfect, beautiful, precious son. A little boy. Daddy-O can teach him to throw a ball and shoot a gun. (we live in Texas, what can I say?) We’ll teach him good old fashioned manners (we hope) and help him catch bugs. Okay, Daddy-O will have to help with the bug part. It’s like all of a sudden I saw the next 20 years with a son and I knew instantly………..I already love this child.

The voice of reason keeps telling me that this may not “the one” and that I shouldn’t set my heart on it. No one has ever accused me of being reasonable.

I’m so screwed.