My Ebenezer

Tonight, our church provided a free dinner to all the area evacuees of hurricaine Katrina. I helped pass out flyers to area hotels and got to talk with a lot of hurting people. I got to be the hands and feet of Christ for them. I’m too tired to make it sound pretty or moving – the experience was too raw for that anyway. People are hurting and they need the Body of Christ to lift them up. People I won’t easily forget:

The first lady I got to speak with won’t leave my mind’s eye. She was an elderly woman of about 75 or so and although she had a sweet disposition, her heart was clearly broken. Through her tears she talked of her kids and grandkids who fled with her and were safe. With tears spilling down her face she said, “but our husbands. Our husbands stayed behind. We don’t know. We just don’t know.”

A couple we met in the parking lot of Wal-Mart with their small child. Packing up their vehicle with plans to head back to Slidell, La. “My mom and step dad are stuck there. They live in a three story house so we believe they are okay, but we have to get to them. No one else will. We have to. My step dad is a diabetic. We’re going to rescue them.” As the man loaded his car with supplies and rubber boots, he said their next stop was Academy and he was going to buy a boat.

A woman who sat alone, crying on a bench in front of her hotel. I sat down beside her and just put my arm around her. “i’m sorry,” i said. “so sorry.” “I’ve lost it all. Everything is gone. I don’t even have my checkbook. I can’t even get to my money in the bank – it was a local bank in New Orleans. I have nothing.” I asked what she would do until she could go back ….”I’m not going back. I have nothing to go back to. I think i’m going to Tennessee…i have some family there. My home is gone.”

Then there are the beautiful people who showed up tonight for a free meal and a praise and worship service. We fed them. We hugged them. We prayed with them. We loved them. They told us they would be okay. They told us that God is good.

Gaynelle was there with her 5 year old nephew. Through tears she said, “i’m not hungry. I just came for the worship. I need to worship.” She explained that Tobius was her nephew and that her mother and sister stayed behind. They couldn’t get out – I don’t think they had any means to get out. So she took Tobius and they fled and now they don’t know about Tobius’s mom or her mom. They can’t get through and they just don’t know.

There were some their who had their entire families with them. Some had left family behind. All left someone behind. The common answer was “we just don’t know.”

The worship service was amazing. More “Amens” and “hallelluhah’s” (i don’t know how to spell halleluyah) than i’ve ever heard in a single service. These people were praising God with tears streaming down their faces.

I have yet to tell you of another group of people who touched my heart in a very special way this evening. Our church family and other church families poured out their hearts, their wallets and their time to make this meal happen. We fed about 250-300 people and there were at least that many volunteers there helping. We had a ton of food left over. Everyone wanted to do something.

These are some of the faces of Katrina:

I want to turn things around a little bit. Rather than have you ask me questions, I’ll ask you a few and you can respond in the comments section. I’d really like to know who you are so if whether you are a “regular” or someone who has just been lurking, answer these questions in the comments section!

1. What is YOUR favorite family tradition?
2. How did you find my blog?
3. Is there anything you wish I’d write more about?
4. What do you think about changing the name of a 6 month old baby? What about a 1 year old? A 2 year old?

Now it’s your turn. Let’s see what you have to say. And for those of you who enjoyed the bouncy ball game a little too much, try this time waster ! Enjoy!

I figure if I start answering your questions right away, maybe you’ll be motivagted to ask more!

What traditions will you be passing on to your children, and what ideas do you have for new traditions? Great question! The traditions that first come to mind are about Christmas. Christmas Eve will always be spent with Daddy-O’s family – it’s something he’s done since he was born. We eat, sing Christmas Carols in German (mostly i just move my lips and pretend) and only then can we open presents. Another tradition for Christmas is Giant stockings. We do this with my family – everyone puts a little something (and a lot of gag gifts and junk) into everyone else’s stocking. It’s a lot of fun to go through them! Finally, Sunday lunch is a tradition we hope to start – not that we haven’t been eating lunch on Sundays forever. But we’d like to make an effort to go to Grammy’s every other Sunday for lunch. (Get ready, Grammy) Jana has some great tradition ideas – you should check out her site!

I love it that you love “Nanny’s” sweet pickles. I have had the recipe somewhere and always think I should make some. I do think that K has made them one time — they are even better if you grow the cucumbers! I don’t think anyone could make them as good as Nanny!

What is your favorite childhood memory and is it something that you will try to recreate with your kids? This is a tough one. I think my favorite memories are probably from the road trips me, mom and T took to Florida for vacation. It’s the only time in my childhood that I remember my sister and I actually getting along. We definitely want to create these fond memories for our kids – maybe not in Florida, but by taking at least one trip every year or two. This one will require more thought because I know there are many more! Oh, and the Wednesday evening thing was called “Prime Time”.

Keep those questions coming – I’d really love to hear from some more of you!

How do you pass the time while you’re waiting for your children…waiting for your life to be completely turned upside down? What does one do while one waits for one’s future?

One blogs.

More specifically, one blogs about all the random things going through her mind that no one really cares about.

Like how I love sweet pickles. Not just any sweet pickles, but the sweet pickles that my dad’s mom makes. Now you’re wondering why I call her “my dad’s mom” instead of my grandmother. My “dad” is actually my step-dad. His mom makes the BEST sweet pickles EVER. I think she’s called Nanna or Nanny – I usually call her by her first name. Anyway, she makes the best sweet pickles – EVER. Did I mention that already? The sweet pickles are on my mind because I just finished off the last jar I “borrowed” (stole) from mom and dad. *hint…this is a shameless plug for more sweet pickles.

Some of my more dedicated readers (all 3 of you) may be even further confused now. I once told you that my dad did not support our decision to adopt. That person is my biological father. My “dad” (stepdad) is wonderful and supports us unconditionally. And by the way, he’s doing really well these days.

Here’s another random thought. I love those little bouncy balls you get out of the “gumball” machines at the grocery store. I recently found this game and now I can’t stop thinking about bouncy balls. I’m dying to run to the store and get one – seeing as how we have hardwood floors in our den, I could really have some fun with a good bouncy ball.

If you clicked on the link above, the red balls remind me of one of my favorite childhood candies. I can’t remember what they were called but they were some kind of sour cherry candy and even just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

I used to buy them at the Life Center – part of the church I went to growing up. THere was a small concession stand where you could buy stuff after youth group on Wednesday nights. What was that called? Lumpy, if you’re reading this, what did we call Wednesday night Bible Study?

Anyway, i’m digressing. Is THAT how you spell digresssing? I think those are enough random thoughts for one night.

I need your help again. Let’s play another round of question and answer. I’m running out of ideas and unless you want to hear more random thoughts, I need some questions! Just click on comments below and type in your question. If you don’t have a blogger account, remember to select anonymous and then click Publish your comment. You can do it. I know you can!

I can’t wait to meet the kids we’ll get to adopt. I wonder what that first meeting will be like? We’ll be nervous and anxious, I”m sure. I wonder what they look like? How tall or how short? What color are their eyes? Will they like us? Will we like them?

This post touched my heart today. It’s about a couple who got to meet the two girls they are hoping to adopt through foster care – the girls are older. Go read Stacy’s Story and you’ll be touched, too!

I saw the Adoption Lady at church this morning and I asked her about our case study being submitted. She said we won’t always know when our study is submitted on a child and that she knows we have already been submitted on a few of them. Our case worker won’t ask us before she submits us for a child, but she will ask us before it gets to the next step.

Once homestudies are submitted on a child or sibling group, a few case studies (families) are selected to move on to the next step. The next step is called a “four-way”. This is where our case study would go to a meeting with the CPS worker and, I’m guessing, also the case workers representing other families. A decision is made about which family is the best fit for this child or group of children. We will be told before our study is taken into a “four-way” – that will be our opportunity to ask lots of questions and say either “yes” or “no”. (though I can’t imagine us saying “no”)

Once we are chosen, the transition period will begin. This is where we would get to visit the child(ren) one day, then a few days later take the child(ren) for a few hours, then a few days after that bring the child(ren) to spend a night with us and then finally a few days after that bring the child home with us for good. Of course, all of this depends on the age of the child(ren) – it could take a longer or a shorter time than all of that.

Anyway, Adoption Lady said we might hear something this week. Holy Stinkin’ Cow.

I’ve told you already how sweet my husband is. I’ve told already how precious he is, how kind, how loving and what a wonderful daddy I know he’s going to be.

Today, I was also reminded of how funny he is. Sometimes intentionally, most of the time not! So here’s a list of some funny things about Daddy-O that I’m sure he’ll pass on to our kids.

1. We came up to a stop sign next to a golf course, just as an older gentleman was setting up his shot. He moved around and got his stance just right, he eased back with the club and then just as he was swinging, Daddy-O layed on the horn. THe man followed through with a swing, while jumping a little, and then turned to give us the evil eye. This happened just today.
2. Once, we were in a grocery store and we split up to find things faster. I was way behind Daddy-O (and so were about 3 other people) in the aisle when I noticed that as he was walking, with each step he would sort of lift one leg and kinda shake it a little bit. I knew what was happening so I immediately turned and walked the other way. As I giggled, I felt a little sorry for the people behind him who would soon smell the reason for his wiggle. Evidently, Daddy-O feels the need to “shake the stink out” after he farts. (sorry, I tried to say “poots” or “passes gas” but those words are just not as effective – Daddy-O doesn’t “poot” or “pass gas” – the man farts.)
3. My sister was visiting and she and I were sitting at my desk having a pretty serious discussion. Daddy-O was heading to bed and was saying goodnight and I don’t remember exactly what happend or what was said…..but something was said about mooning. (definition: Mooning – to show one’s bare butt to another). My sweet and loving husband walked to the far side of the room and yanked his pants down while bending over to show us hit bottom. What he didn’t realize is that there are two very important rules a MAN should follow if he is going to “moon” someone. Rule #1 – don’t pull your pants down very far. Rule #2 – just in case you forget about Rule #1, you better keep your legs together. Daddy-O did not know these rules. If you can’t imagine why they are important, well, let’s just say my sister got a look a lot more than just a bare behind. And we laughed so hard we almost peed in our pants.

That’s all I have time for now. These were all printed with his permission – one of the things I love most about Daddy-O is that it never occurs to him to be embarrassed!

It’s hot. No, I mean it is HOT. It feels like it’s a thousand degrees out there and it’s not even 11am yet. Yesterday, I couldn’t get my house cooler than 80 degrees – and that was with the ac running all day. Yikes. The electric bill is going to be astronomical.

Daddy-O is outside working on the cabinet – and wonders why I’m not out there “helping”. It’s dang hot, that’s why. If it were up to me, the cabinets wouldn’t get finished until the end of September, when we catch a break from this nasty heat. THankfully, it isn’t up to me. So the cabinet will be primed today, painted tomorrow and hopefully moved into the playroom by tomorrow night!

I can’t wait to get it all set up and start putting toys and stuff in it. In fact, I think I’ll go to the store this afternoon and look for some wicker baskets – I’ve decided to use the baskets in the cubby holes. But that means I have to leave my house and get in the minivan. I really wish I had a remote control to start the minivan and turn on the AC before I get to it.

THe one thing I really don’t like about the minivan is the giant window in front – it really allows the heat to come right in while you’re driving. It doesn’t matter how good the AC works, when the sun is beating down on your arm or legs through the window, it gets hot.

Can you tell I don’t like the heat? In my perfect little world, everything would stay at about 75 degrees. Unless I’m sleeping. When I’m sleeping, I like it to be about 70 degrees.

So what do you do when you’re waiting for the rest of your life to start? Other than complaining about how hot it is. I’ll save that topic for my next post….the laptop is heating up and I just can’t take it anymore.

I know, I know. I got you all excited a few weeks ago about the possibility of us adopting an 8 month old little girl. Then we found out that we were never even submitted on her. Sorry about that, but welcome to my life.

I talked with our case worker today, S. She asked about a child. I called my husband and our trusted friend, The Adoption Lady. I called S back and said “We’d love to.”

That is the short version of the story. We are being submitted on a 4 month old baby. That’s all I want to share right now. I’ve got to keep you in suspense on something! We are for sure being submitted – doesn’t mean we’ll be chosen, but we’re being submitted!

I don’t know how long this process usually takes or when we may know something. I’ll let you know if/when I find out. Just keep praying! We want the child (ren) God has for us.

First of all, I had to wake up at 6:30AM this morning. Did you know it is light out at 6:30am? I didn’t know this and am sorry that I know it now. Anyway, after my doctor’s appointment, my minivan just took over like it had a mind of its own. It headed straight for Chic-fil-a and there was nothing I could do about it.

Okay, so we both know that’s a lie, but I’m telling the story my way. So while I’m sitting in the drive through line, (because my fat butt is too lazy to park and go in) I’m debating on whether or not to buy my weekly gallon of Sweet Tea. Since I am officially “off” of Sweet Tea I decide I shouldn’t buy the whole gallon as this would make it more difficult for me to not drink it. Duh!

So instead, I buy TWO large Sweet Teas. Yes, I said TWO! Count them with me…ONE…..TWO! One for now and another for well, now. I’m hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. That’s what happens when the doctor tells me I’ve lost TWO pounds – I reward myself with a large Sweet Tea – one for each pound. Because THAT makes sense.

Anyway, so the kids are coming. It’s getting so close. They will be here any day now. Maybe one, maybe two, perhaps even three. I absolutely draw the line at three. Progress is being made at the agency and we’re told that it is going to happen fast. Get ready.

I wonder how I will feel when I see those precious children for the first time? I wonder if we’ll instantly feel a connection or if we’ll fall madly in love at first site. Realistically, I guess we’ll feel pretty awkward at first and maybe even afraid we won’t ever “fall in love” with them. I know it will only be a matter of time.

It’s just a matter of time now.

Aunt T is already spoiling her niece. But don’t worry, if she gets a nephew we’ll trade it in!

Home Safe. Too tired to blog. Have to get up early tomorrow.

Had a great day with the kids today while Daddy-O was busy working on the cabinets back at home. Here’s what he accomplished:

Tomorrow I have two special dates. One with my sweet Abigail who is 3 and one with my precious Wes who is 6. I’m picking Abigail up for lunch and we are having a “girls day” which means we’ll also have to do a little shopping! I’m so excited because I’ve never gotten to do this with her but I’ve done it with her big sister, before she was born.

After lunch, I get to visit with my sister and then go with her to pick up my nephew from school. Our “date” will consist of homework and then, of course, playstation! What a day. I’m sure T and I will stay up too late talking and that will be fun, too. Maybe she’ll even let me borrow her computer so i can blog tomorrow night!

I cherish these moments because I know that soon I’ll have my own precious children and may not have the opportunity to get one on one time with my nieces and nephews as often.

As a side note, I’m “off” of Sweet Tea and, quite frankly, it’s killing me. I am only 2 whole days “sober” and I don’t think I’m going to make it.

Who knew that baby clothes could be so much fun? A big thanks to KF for giving me a huge box of clothes that her girls had outgrown! They are so precious (the clothes and the girls!). As soon as I got home, I put them on hangers and in the closet in the nursery. By the way, little people clothes look funny on big people hangers.

When Daddy-O came home, he asked why I had put them all in the closet. What do you mean “why”? Because the closet looks better with them in there, that’s why! He said we’ll just have to take them out if we get a little boy. Ya, well, okay but doesn’t the closet look adorable with those little dresses hanging in it?

Am I nuts or what? Of course I’m nuts, that’s why I’m posting a picture for you so you can agree with me that the closet looks absolutely adorable!

I especially like the girly clothes hanging right above the camo diaper bag! See, I’m planning for a boy, too!

On another note, I have a very dear friend who shared the most wonderful news with me today. Even just thinking about it brings a huge smile to my face. So, here’s to you, “Squatty” and I’m praying for ya’ll. And holding my breath and crossing my fingers and jumping up and down, all at the same time!

And this just in from my sister, via email:

Hey.
Your nephew just prayed that you would have safe travel.
Blog, please.
See you tomorrow.
me

Hey, T, this first blog is free. Go on and read it, I know you’ll like it. The next one will cost you.

Love, your blog-dealing sister

1 Chron 16:34
34 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!For His mercy endures forever.NKJV

Have I told you yet how incredibly faithful God has been throughout this journey? I asked you on Wednesday to P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens) and I appreciate your prayers. I asked for 3 specific things, one of which for a case worker to be assigned to us and for her to call us.

The lady who did our homestudy called this afternoon asking if she could “edit” some of the things she had written. It seems OUR CASE WORKER called her and was concerned that the way a few things were worded would it make it hard for her to “sell” us to CPS. To make a long story short, she had misunderstood what we said anyway so it was a good thing.

OUR CASE WORKER is working on our file today, after being on vacation last week. We’ll call our case worker S. Anyway, so S told our homestudy worker that she had a few children in mind for us and wanted to get our homestudy changed and signed right away. So it will all be done tomorrow. I asked about the license from the state and she said I’d have to ask S about that, she wasn’t sure. She did say, however, that it can be done in less than 48 hours if need be.

God heard our prayers and He has answered. Please don’t think our job is done – we still need you to P.U.S.H. for us. Here’s what I’m hoping you’ll agree to:

1. Pray for S. Pray that God points her in the direction of the children He has for us.
2. Pray that S will really like us – this will help motivate her to work for us.
3. Pray that God will soften our (Daddy-O and I) hearts to the child(ren) He has for us.

It’s so exciting…..we’re ready to see what happens next. We trust that God is in control and that He will carry us through each step of this process. It’s also exciting to have you walk this road with us, to share our burdens and our joys. I’ve always heard that “it takes a village to raise a child” now I know that sometimes it takes a village to get a child! We stand strong because God is with us, but we feel strong because you are praying with us. We thank God for you – yes, even you lurkers!

Here’s what we (i use that term VERY loosely since Daddy-O is really the one who did all the work) have been up to. Yesterday, “we” worked on one set of cabinets for the playroom and you know I have to show them to you! So here they are:

Imagine them will all the trim, cabinet doors at the bottom and all painted white! Won’t they be marvelous? Daddy-O is so good! He’s never built anything like this before, either!

It’s getting closer….can you feel it?

Thanks to my wonderful brother-in-law, my nephew Wes often refers to me as Aunt Weeza. Actually, when Steve is around, it’s “mean Aunt Weeza”. He’s 6 and just started first grade. Wes, not Steve. Ha!

Anyway, some of Wes’s favorite things include Jeff Gordon, Nascar, trucks, hotwheels, dogs and Playstation. Once I told him about getting cheatcodes for the playstation games, I became his expert on all things playstation. In fact, I’m driving 2 1/2 hours this Tuesday, primarily because he asked me to come help him with a game. One I know nothing about, but he doesn’t consider that I may not be able to help him with it. (I LOVE THAT!)

In fact, he called me today and asked me if I would go and rent the game so that I could be practicing a little before I get to his house. !!! He never even had a doubt that I would go out and rent it, despite the fact that my sister told him it costs money and I may not be able to and blah blah blah. I laughed when she told me that because I know that he knows I’ll do it. Guess you could say I’m a little wrapped around his finger ……. but it is the cutest little finger!

I tell you all of this to say how much I LOVE the fact that he calls me and asks me about his playstation games. That even when his mom tells him she can look up the cheatcodes for him, he wants me to do it. I love that he thinks I know all about playstation, even though i have only played about 3 different games on it in my life. Mostly, I love that I love him so much I’ll gladly drive 2 1/2 hours (one way) just to play a little playstation with him.

OH ya, and to visit my sister. That is really important too…i mean, she is really important too. It’s not just about WEs. *wink wink (ya, in case you haven’t guessed, sister TB reads this!)

A few months ago, I had the funniest conversation with Wes.

Me: So, mom told you that me and uncle Daddy-O are going to be adopting a baby, right?

Wes: ya

Me: Are you excited about that? About having cousins to play with when you come over?

Wes: No! I don’t think that’s any good. I don’t think it’s any good at all!

Me: (desparately trying not to laugh) Why not?

Wes: cause

me: cause why, wes?

Wes: Cause then you won’t have any time for me….you’ll spend all your time with that baby.

me: you know aunt cindy will always have time for you…i love you so much!

wes: i bet you won’t even have a bed for me to sleep in anymore…you’ll probably make it a room for the baby

me: (thinking, oh crap, he’s right about that…the room he normally sleeps in will be the nursery) I’ll always have a bed for you to sleep in… I’ll move your bed into the front room, it’s bigger anyway. Okay?

wes: i guess

me: (thinking i have achieved some great thing and explained away all of his fears and concerns…all while mentally patting myself on the back for doing so….I ask him..) so, do you feel better now about us adopting a baby?

wes: no! I still think it’s no good at all.

LOL…he is so funny and so sweet. And is way too smart.

Now, I have a dilemna. I am thinking I should redo that front bedroom since our plan is to adopt at least 2 kids….maybe do it in primary colors or something. But that is Wes’s room and he knows it. His favorite color is red, I guess as long as I have a lot of red in there it will be okay.

I should tell you that they (wes and parents) stopped by on their way home from vacation. Wes had saved two toys from his happy meals for “Aunt Cindy and Uncle Daddy-O’s baby” with no prompting from his parents. I think he’s coming around!

Conversation with Daddy-O yesterday:

Me: Daddy-O, what would you do if you got a call from the agency and they said they had 6 month old twin girls and a 2 yr old little boy (sibling group) and it looked like parental rights would terminate in Nov.

B: Am I on the phone with the agency?

Me: Yes, I’m not home and you are on the phone. I can’t be reached.

B: [as though he is talking to our agency] Okay, let me call you back in five minutes. [he looks at me] and then says, I’d call your mom and say hey, we need another baby bed here quick.

Me: Daddy-O, that’s not what we said we’d do …. we said TWO siblings but no more right at first….just TWO

B: ya, but … you know, the twins are two and then what’s one more?

What is going to happen to us? Are we going to become an instant family of 5? Holy stinkin’ cow. Not that we’ve gotten that call, but holy stinkin’ cow. What is going to happen?

I’m just full of excitement tonight. Even though we don’t know about the paperwork and case worker and stuff, i’m just so excited – i’m not even sure why. It’s getting close, friends, I can feel it.

Pray Until Something Happens – Let’s all get “pushy”

God tells us in Phil 4:6-7, “6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” NLT

That’s what I’m asking you to do for us now. Please join us in praying specifically for the following:

1. That our paperwork will be submitted for licensing.
2. That we will recieve our license number.
3. That a caseworker will be assigned to us and will call us.

Will you please help us with this? Really, I don’t think we need to call the agency again right now. I feel like we need to sit back for a bit and just let God work. Sitting back doesn’t mean we can’t do anything, though, right?

We would appreciate it if you would lift these specific requests up to God, who hears all our prayers and who always answers. Thank you!

We’re so close, we can feel it. It won’t be long now. P.U.S.H.

So I’m feeling more than a little frustration right now. I haven’t heard from the agency since I called them last week so I can’t be certain they have even submitted our homestudy on the little girl I mentioned a few days ago. I wish they would, but I’m okay if they don’t or haven’t. I’d just like to know.

We haven’t been very impressed with the lack of communication we’ve received from the agency since our homestudy was completed. In fact, we have called them a few times in the past FIVE WEEKS but have heard nothing from them. It’s not like I’ve been pestering them, either. I’ve only called 3 times at most since then, and 2 of those times were on the same day. No, I wasn’t stalking them, I was calling back with information they asked for!

Here’s what has my feathers ruffled. The first time I called, the director had not yet reviewed our file for corrections. She wasn’t even aware it was waiting for her review. So, good thing I called, she said she’d review it blah blah blah then the homestudy worker had to come back in and make corrections and do a final sign off on it. Well, that was a few weeks ago.

Last week, I called again to ask if we’d been assigned a worker and to ask about being submitted on the child I mentioned before. Oh, and to get the number to fax in the fire inspection. She said she was waiting on the homestudy lady to sign off on the file so i called the homestudy lady and asked if there was any way she might be able to do that sometime that week. She said she’d only found out about it the day before but was going in the next day to sign it. BAH! Ever get the feeling someone isn’t telling you the whole truth but you aren’t sure who it is?

Now, because I still haven’t had a call telling me who my case worker is, I am thinking they have not submitted us on this child. Which has me a little ticked off. Just call me and freakin’ tell me what’s going on, will ya?

Ok, sorry. I’m through ranting. For now. It’s just so frustrating. And now I’m thinking I shouldn’t call again because I don’t want to be “one of THOSE people”. And I don’t want to aggrevate them since they are standing between us and our children. BAH!

God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. God is in control.

Sometimes I just feel like He needs a little help from me. It’s wrong, I know it is. He doesn’t need me. I’m like the 2 year old spilling the mop bucket all over the floor in an attempt to “help.”

Our Shorthorns got their final approval today! Woo-Hoo…. For those of you who are just joining us, the Shorthorns are our very dear friends we met during our training classes. Anyway, just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! And I can’t wait to see what child God has for you guys!

Nancy says, “Yippee! That is awesome. What color were the wicker baskets that you got at Target? You bankroll that store, you know that?”

Yes, Nancy, unfortunately I am definitely supporting Target too much these days. I honestly can’t help myself – I’m just so excited about becoming someone’s mommy! Here’s a picture of the shelving unit with wicker baskets:

It’s funny, last week someone asked how I stand the “waiting”. I told you guys that I’m okay with waiting and not in any hurry for things to move along. I think I even said something like “I think I’d like this to happen in September, but not before.” WHAT WAS I SMOKING? I’m ready to bring our child(ren) home. This desire to raise a family is strong within us….within Daddy-O and I. You should see Daddy-O’s eyes light up when we talk about our children. Kids have always been drawn to him – he’s just got this way about him that makes him approachable to kids. I know he’s going to be a wonderful father.

And you know what? I’m going to be a wonderful mother, too. We won’t be perfect – in fact, I know we’ll screw up plenty. But I also know that we’re going to be good parents. And I’m sure when we are screwing up, there will be plenty of you along the way to point that out, right? ha ha ha ha…..we’re counting on it!

We’re going to be parents. We’re going to have children. Sometimes, that just blows me away. It’s so close, almost within our reach….but still seems so far away. There is so much hope in our hearts, I wish I could tangibly share it with you. I know that hope is from God – for I believe that without His Grace in our lives, we wouldn’t be here today. Here, waiting for a phone call to tell us we have a child(ren). That’s just the way God works, friend. He takes something that can be so horrible, something we don’t understand at all…and He turns it into something beautiful.

Do you know about Joseph? I’m not talking about the Joseph who was married to Mary, I’m talking about the other one. Israel’s son. You know, the one who was adored by his dad? The story goes something like this:

Joseph was his father’s favorite. He ratted out his stepbrothers when they weren’t pulling their weight in the fields and his dad made him a beautiful coat. His brothers (actually, half brothers) hated him because they knew their dad loved him more. I’m not talking about your typical sibling rivalry here, people. These guys HATED their brother. (half brother) Joseph wasn’t all that smart, in my opinion…let’s remember he was only 17 years old. He had some dreams about his brothers “bowing down to him” and he was quick to tell them all about it. I don’t know about you, but if I’m living with siblings that hate me so much they won’t even speak to me, I think I’d keep my mouth shut about my dreams. I’m sure Joseph was a typical 17 year old, testosterone filled boy who liked to “shoot off at the mouth”.

Anyway, to top it all off he was a tattle tale, too. He found his brothers goofing off instead of watching the flock and so they devised a plan to kill him. Seriously, I’m not making any of this up. At the last minute, they decided instead to sell him to the Ishmaelites as a slave – for 20 pieces of silver. (wasn’t that nice of them?) Now I don’t know how much 20 pieces of silver was really worth back then, but I’m thinking it wasn’t worth, say…YOUR BROTHER! So they went home with a torn coat and told their father Joseph had been killed by wild animals.

At some point, Joseph was sold in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh’s officials, manager of his household affairs. Pharaoh was like the top dog back then, he was the King. Anyway, you’d think being sold into slavery would be a pretty bad thing, right? You’d probably be a little angry, bitter…I mean, who wouldn’t be? Here’s where the story gets interesting.

Not Joseph, he continues to honor God and Potiphar sees that God is with him. Joseph becomes Potiphar’s “personal assistant”, if you will, and pretty much has it made. Enter Potiphar’s wife. Evidently, Joseph was hot. Potiphar’s wife wanted to um, er…let’s say knock boots with him. Joseph refused her and then SHE accussed HIM of attacking her. Of course Potiphar believed his wife and had Joseph thrown into jail, where the king kept his prisoners.

Things had turned around for Joseph after he was sold into slavery – he had it pretty good with Potiphar. Then this happens – you’d think he’d be all angry and bitter, right? WRONG! Scripture says God was still with Joseph. Don’t get me wrong, Joseph had to be a bit ticked off but he was still able to honor God. The reason I assume that he wasn’t angry and bitter is because he was able to continue with God – if your heart is full of God, there is no room for anger and bitterness.

Okay, so this is turning into the longest post ever, but it’s such a good story. I hate to not finish it. And it’s a TRUE STORY! Even though it sounds like something off of a soap opera!

Anyway, so Joseph is in jail, right? Pharoah gets upset with a couple of his servants and sends them to jail. (and you thought your boss was a jerk) While they’re in jail, Joseph is assigned to take care of them. They both had dreams and mentioned to Joseph they were upset because they had no one to interpret their dreams – to tell them what their dreams meant. Joseph was able to do this, and do it accurately. What he foretold from the dreams happened exactly as he said it would. He asked the servants to remember him and tell Pharoah about him so that he could get out of that jail!

But do you think the servant remembered him when was returned to his post? No, of course not. He was just glad to be out of jail! WEll, that’s not entirely true. He did remember to tell Pharaoh about Joseph….TWO YEARS LATER when Pharaoh had some disturbing dreams that he wanted to have interpreted. Yes, TWO YEARS passed and Joseph was still in jail….the servant says, “oh ya, there’s this guy in jail who interprets dreams….” Gee, thanks. REally appreciate that buddy!

Pharoah calls for Joseph and he interprets the dream, all the while giving God the credit for his ability to do so. The dream told of “7 years of plenty” for Egypt to be followed by “7 years of famine.” Pharoah put Joseph in charge of all of Egypt – managing the grain and such so that there would be enough saved up to cover them all during the 7 years of famine. This was a very important position, one with a great deal of authority and honor. Joseph was 30 years old. Remember, he was only 17 when his rotten brothers sold him into slavery. For 13 years he was a slave or in jail. THIRTEEN years.

Joseph did his job well during the next seven years and stored up food for the famine he knew was coming. Fast forward to the end of the “good years” and you find Joseph’s family (the slave selling brothers and all) suffering greatly during the famine. Jacob sent the brothers to Egypt to buy food and you can probably guess what happened.

Joseph recognized his brothers and he did more than just sell them food – he had his whole family move to Egypt to live with him so they would be taken care of during the famine. (of course, he wouldn’t be human if hadn’t messed with them a little bit first!) You’ll have to read the whole story for yourselves…you can find it in Genesis 37 and Genesis 39 through Genesis 46.

God knew back when Joseph was only 17 about the famine that would come to the land. He knew someone had to plan for the famine and Joseph was the one he had chosen. God was honored through Joseph’s actions. I can’t think of a worse situation that God turned around for good. The good news is that God still works that way today. He can take any situation and turn it into good.

So you see, God knew before Daddy-O and I ever got married that there would be these children who needed new families. He knew that the whole time we were trying to get pregnant….maybe our fertility treatments were stalling to get us where we needed to be in God’s perfect timing. I don’t know why God had us walk the road we did, but I know that we trust His perfect will for our lives. And we can’t wait to see what happens next.

That’s how long it will be before we know anything. Usually, the process takes 1 – 2 weeks before a family is chosen for a child. We’ll just have to wait and see.

I’ve got babies on the brain! We went to Target tonight and I just had to buy a small shelving unit with wicker baskets for the nursery. Honestly, I just had to. Couldn’t resisit.

No word at all today and I really don’t expect to hear anything until maybe the end of next week. Who knows? I don’t know if this is “our child” or not. I was talking to a friend last night and said something like, “well, this is our first possible referral so it probably won’t happen….” She told me something that has really stuck with me. She said, “Don’t limit God.” That just grabbed my heart somehow.

How often do we limit God? Don’t get me wrong, the God I worship has no limits, certainly none placed on Him by me. What I’m saying is, God wants us to have faith in Him and I believe we are rewarded for that faith. I wonder if, sometimes, when we don’t have faith, we miss out on some of His blessings? Rom 4:2-4.3 For what does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.”NKJV

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is that of Abraham and Sarah. They were very old and Sarah was barren. They wanted a child but were both entirely too old for this to even seem possible. But with God, we know all things are possible. God promised not only to give them a son, but promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations. And God did. And Abraham was. That’s why we are so positive about this whole adoption experience. We trust God to do what He said He would do. We trust Him to provide for us and He will. In His way and in His time.

Rom 4:19-25
19 Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.” Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. 20 He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, 21 sure that God would make good on what he had said. 22 That’s why it is said, “Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right.” 23 But it’s not just Abraham; 24 it’s also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. 25 The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God. (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

Tell me what you think of the curtains for the nursery. I know, I know. They are very girly. So what? If we get a boy, we’ll change them. I promise. But they go soooo well with the room. I’m thinking just a valance but will wait for my buddy Christy to make a better suggestion.

And what about the playroom? Doesn’t it look great with the chalkboard finished and the magnets on the wall? I loved all of your ideas for curtains, but how could I pass up this wild fabric with matching colors? I’m thinking of doing something like a Roman Shade (but not nearly that complicated) that goes maybe 1/4 of the way down? I dunno. Need help. so, Help? And just because I want to save you the trouble of enlarging the playroom pic to see what I wrote on the chalkboard…..here’s a close up for you!

After talking to my friend today, I do think our homestudy will be submitted for this child. Woo-Hoo. I’m so stinkin’ excited I can’t stand it.

Your will, God, not ours.

If you’re not wondering about the title of this post, you should be. Why? Because I’m not just talking about a call. I’m talking about THE CALL. Did you hear that? THE CALL. You know, the one where I answer the phone and someone on the other end says…”we have this child……”

Do I have your attention now? Good, I thought I might.

We got a call yesterday on a child. A child that is currently in foster care. A child whose father has already signed away his parental rights. A child whose mother’s rights will likely be terminated in October. A child who could be ours? Is this the one, God? How will we know?

Well, I don’t know about you, but I simply pray that God will open and close doors along the way. If this is “our child” then I trust God to work out the details. Even as I write that, I am scolding myself for fretting over the paperwork. It seems our agency “doesn’t have a copy” (which means they freakin lost it) of Daddy-O’s background check. Despite the pictures below, I promise his background check will be clear! LOL

Anyway, so we get this call. Minor details are given. Do you want to know what the details are? Are you interested in knowing how old this child is? What sex this child is? I thought you might be. I’ll tell you soon enough. For now, I’m enjoying toying with you.

After details are shared, the questions is asked, “Are you interested?” Well, hmm….let me think…..”is the Pope Catholic?” Yes, we are interested, VERY interested. I have to say I started not to blog about this because blogging about it somehow makes it more real for me. I don’t know why, it just does. Then I figured, you guys are along for the ride so I may as well share. Right?

To be fair, the agency has to get it together so that our homestudy can be submitted on this child. Just because our homestudy is submitted doesn’t mean we’ll be matched. There will be several homestudies submitted on this child, and if it is meant to be, then we’ll be chosen. Anyway, the first step is to have our paperwork submitted. And don’t worry, I’m harrassing people with enough southern charm to hopefully motivate them to get going. We’ll see.

That’s it for now, I’ll let you know if we actually get submitted for this child. Until then….

Oh, wait. You wanted details, right? Sorry, I almost forgot. *evil grin* This precious child is a 8month old baby girl!!!

It’s a long shot, guys. After giving you the information and possibly getting you as excited as we are, I should be fair and tell you it isn’t a sure thing. Welcome to our life. We are definitely on the road to adoption!

There are soooooo many reasons why I should not post these pictures. But they’re too stinkin’ funny to keep all to myself. So go ahead, suggest a caption.

I guess it’s time for me to fess up and come clean. I am an addict. It’s true. I’m hooked on sweet tea. Not just any sweet tea, but Chick-fil-a sweet tea. You can even buy it by the gallon – which I’ve done 2 weeks in a row now. I drink it in the morning. I drink with lunch and dinner and at least 2 times in between. Even now, my throat is dry and I’m starting to shake ….. I’m jonesin’ for my sweet tea.

Doctors say you should drink about 8 glasses of water a day, right? Well, what is tea? Isn’t just water with a little caffeine and, in this case, a lot of sugar? I can’t think of a better way to drink my 8 glasses of water a day. So really, I’m just following doctor’s orders, right?

While I’m fessing up, I may as well tell you that I’m also addicted to playstation. This is more embarassing to admit. One, that we even have a playstation and don’t have any kids and two, I can’t stop playing it. Thankfully, this only happens when we get a new game, I just have to finish the game or I can’t concentrate on anything else. It’s crazy. I can see it now, “Kids, I said it was time to turn off the playstation….now go outside and a PLAY!” Then, as soon as they run outside (because of course they would immediately obey me, right?) I pick up the playstation and start playing. GEez. The thing is evil. We only own 2 games for it but my cousin recently let me borrow one of his and I just can’t stop myself. (he’s like 11 years old, by the way)

Purses are another addiction of mine – right now I have 4 that I use regularly (no wonder I can never find anything). Shoes are good, too, but my taste is pretty simple there. Flip-flops in all colors. No heels cause I’ve never been graceful and no closed toe shoes cause my feet are always hot.

Anyway, I’m off now to drink a glass of tea and play video games. What a life.

Karen says, “If you don’t want to share your sister’s Wal Mart story, I know one of your own Wal Mart stories you should share. “, the sad truth is that our stories are pretty much the same.

Stacy says, “How are handling the wait? Are you still relieved that things are going slowly, or do you jump every time the phone rings, wondering if it is THE call? ” Actually, I’m not feeling anxious at all these days. In my perfect world, we wouldn’t get “the call” before the very end of August. I don’t know why i have the end of August in my mind, it’s just that I do. At the end of August, I’ll probably say I’d like to get the call the end of September! I am enjoying the time I have to myself and with my husband and while I’ll be thrilled when the call comes, I’m okay waiting for a while. For me, though, that may be in part to suffering 3 years of infertility treatments and trying desparately to get pregnant – never knowing what would happen. At least I know we will get our kids and are on the right path now, ya know? I see light at the end of the tunnel! That being said, I should also confess that when the phone rang last week and I saw it was my agency calling, I almost peed in my pants!

Tamara has lots of questions – Woo Hoo! “How did you tell your families what you were going to (or wanted to) do?” I don’t think we ever made a big announcement or anything. Because of the infertility, we’d been talking about adoption as an option for years. I think we told people in January that this would be our last treatment and if it didn’t work, we’d move on to adoption. So it just kinda naturally progressed…sort of. ?? Once our immediate families knew, word just kind of spread and I remember saying things like, “So Aunt so-and-so, I guess such-and-such told you that we’ve decided to adopt?” The biggest thing for us is/was telling people how we are adopting – through the foster care system – and answering their questions. We just answered questions as they came and still do – I never mind explaining our process to anyone. I get a little frustrated when people tell us how hard foster-to-adopt will be if we don’t get to adopt children we are fostering. We know it will be hard – it will SUCK, but God will give us what we need to get through it!

“Are there things you told the state you would not accept?” Gee, Tamara, you really know how to hit home, don’t you? This is a very tough question to answer. When we reviewed a list of issues/problems/situations/abuse/etc to be able to discuss what we would accept and what we would not, I had such a heavy heart. I feel like what we’re saying is that these children don’t have value or they aren’t worth considering for adoption. Let me say for the record that I want every child to be adopted. I think no child is worthless or “too damaged”. We (Daddy-O and I) had to be very honest with each other and with ourselves about what we were willing to take on. We did that, and pray we made the right decisions. So, in answer to your question, yes…we did tell the state that there were things we would not accept. My prayer has been from the beginning and will continue to be that God softens our hearts to what He has for us. One final note on this is that we told the state there were things we wouldn’t accept – but if these things do not become apparent until the children are with us, we won’t send them back because of it.

“What will be your house rules? (We are trying to decide what ours will be – even though an infant won’t understand a word – we need them eventually)” We’ll have a lot of house rules. We have a pool in the back yard, so no kids going outside in the back without an adult will be one of them. Showing respect will be another. Manners will be a big one. (guess we better start minding ours) A lot will depend on the age. We hope to set up a routine and stick to it. I think having a schedule is very important for kids – I hope we’ll be able to follow one.

“Do you have any names picked out – or are you going to wait and see what the child(ren) look like and go from there?” We do have some names that we like but no decisions yet. We’ll have to see the age of our children before we know if can really change their names without confusing them.

“Are you open on race?” We are open to any child God has for us.

“How much “thinking” and praying about it did you have to do before you and Daddy-O knew this was God’s will? (And how did you know?)” We just knew it was time to move on, we’d had enough of the fertility stuff. To read the whole story of how we feel God confirmed the timing and the type of adoption, read about Grace.

Thanks for the questions, it helps a lot. I’ve got a few ideas brewing for future posts so check back soon!

Here are answers to today’s questions. I hope you’ll keep this up as I am all out of ideas for a while. I guess you could call it, “Blogger’s Block”.

Nancy says, “You are such a TEASE! We want that Wal-Mart story.” Sorry, Nancy, my sister made me promise not to tell her story. I’ll come up with another one, though, I promise! Or I’ll just wait until she embarrasses me again and then I’ll use my blog and wal-mart to get even!

Anonymous says, “Would you be doing an open adoption? If so, what kind of contact would you want with the birth parents? “ Because we are adopting through the state and parental rights will be involuntarily terminated, contact with the birthparents is very unlikely. Children in the custody of the state are almost always there because of abuse, neglect or abandonment. We are open to staying in touch with other relatives but it will all depend on what is best for our children. I believe whole heartedly that open adoption is in the best interest of the children, under the right circumstances. Regardless of the situation, I do hope to have pictures of the birthparents to put in a lifebook for my child.

Shelli wants to know what church service we’re attending now. We go to the 9:30 Journey service. It’s contemporary. By the way, they are starting a second Journey service next week at 10:50 if you’re interested.

Shorthorns say, “what are your hopes and dreams for your children? what do you want them to get out of life, and from life? “ Geez, talk about a loaded question. Hmmm… I want my kids to have the Peace only Christ can give. I want them to have a personal relationship with Jesus and I want them to seek God with all they are. If they can achieve that, they will have achieved it all. I hope their hearts will heal from the loss they suffered so early in their lives. I want them to have Faith, to trust that God is always in control and He will ALWAYS give them what they need to get through any situation. I’d like them to learn to laugh at themselves. I would like them to be able to make wise decisions. I want them to be happy with who they are – to really appreciate who they are and recognize their value. Do you think I’m asking for too much?

JettyBetty says, “Would you take more than one child at a time? Do you have a limit as to how many you would take?Are you open to any age?” Actually, we are hoping to adopt 2 children at the same time. Siblings. Everyone thinks we’re nuts. Our friends, our neighbors, even our parents. Though none of them will say it out loud – they all give us subtle hints that we should stick with one at a time. (yes, mom, I am getting the hint .. *wink) What can I say? We’re stubborn. Adopting siblings is something we’ve been open to from the begginning. It may not happen, but we are certainly open to it. Right now, we are limiting ourselves to two. We’d really like to stick with age 3 and under, but are praying for God to soften our hearts to what He has for us. So far, we feel like we should stay under age 3. I’ll let you know if that changes!

Hey, that was fun. Let’s do it again soon, okay? You keep asking questions and I’ll keep answering. Before I go, I want to include a quote from someone near and dear to my heart. I feel like it sums up my life completely and explains a lot about the way I look!

said a grown woman, “I accidentally ate FIVE cookies.”

Okay, so we may be in for a long wait….a few weeks, maybe months. Or maybe not. But I’m thinking that I am running out of things to blog about. Unless I see more squirrels soon, I may not have much to say for a while. I have a REALLY funny story to tell about my sister and Wal-Mart but she says I can’t share it.

Here’s what I want you to do. Ask me questions. Use the comments to ask any questions. You can ask about the adoption, you can ask about us, anything. I reserve the right to not answer anything I consider too personal, but I’m pretty much an open book. So, ask your questions and I’ll be back to answer them later!

Until then, have a great week!